My boyfriend left me because I kissed a guy at a party after some drinks. How can I get him back?

[bon_tosh]

I went to a party with some female friends, my boyfriend didn't come since it was a girls night out and he went out with his friends somewhere else. I saw an old classmate of mine and while I was talking to him he kept giving me some cups of juice and I didn't know until later that it was mixed with alcohol! One thing lead to another and before I knew it I was in his lap kissing him on a couch. As soon as I realized what was happening I pushed him away and left.

My boyfriend wasn't at the party but one of his friends told him what happened. I confessed but he told me I cheated and he was leaving me. I feel awful and can't eat or sleep I just keep crying. I love him so much and I was not in the right mind frame. I texted him a few times but he didn't respond. We go to the same college and I saw him a few times but he pretends like he doesn't see me and ignores me.

What can I do, I swear I didn't know I was drinking alcohol since I'm still too young, but it impaired me. My boyfriend is the greatest guy ever and I really f-ed up. What can I do?

[bbch25]

Well, you could not blame alcohol for the fact you got onto some guys lap and was making out. Even if you couldn't taste the alcohol you could've asked, you're at a party where people are drinking.
You cheated, he's hurt, and how you feel about it means nothing. You aren't eating? You're crying? Well sorry to say - but good. If you weren't like that then you don't care about your actions.

But if you want a chance with him then try and talk to him one last time, apologise one last time, say you'll give him space, but you'll be willing to wai for him because you love him. Tell him you'll not drink again or tell him you'll never talk to that guy again or won't go out partying for a while whatever you have to, show him you're aware of what you did, why it was wrong, and that you're willing to try and fix it.

For me, I can't taste alcohol with soft drink, but I have also drank a fair amount before and just have an intolerance to it. But 1. if someone gives me a drink I ask and 2. anything with juice is really obvious, juice can't cover the taste of alcohol that easily, if anything it highlights it.

[Stacyzee]

I'm almost positive your boyfriend only said he cheated as a way to make you feel what he did , in a sense I feel he was telling a lie.
He felt as if you shot him so he shot back.
"I'm still too young".
Age has nothing to do with this.
Everyone knows what alcohol does to them before hand , so it is wise to monitor your drinking and do so in moderation.
You cheated.
This doesn't make you a terrible person , but only human. We are built to make mistakes.
Learn from this experience and drink responsibility so in future things like this does not happen again.
You apologized.
There's nothing else you can do from here.

[kaylaS91]

... you didn't know that you were drinking alcohol? I've never heard of such a thing. The fact that you're young has no influence on simply realizing that you're drinking something.

I'd say that you should go see a psychiatrist to resolve that issue before you try to get back with your boyfriend. Trying to drag him back to being with you following your cheating on him, then trying to blame it on alcohol. Despite the fact that you were magically capable enough to kiss another guy, yet not capable of realizing that you'd been drinking in the first place.

[Red_Arrow]

There are lots of juice and alcohol combinations that do not taste like alcohol, especially to someone who is not familiar with alcohol.

[kaylaS91]

@Red_Arrow true. But for those, you'd need to drink a LOT to get intoxicated enough that you could by chance, end up in another guy's lap. It would be a slow rate of getting increasingly drunk versus how quick it hits you with hard liquor so.. I'm just gonna call bs on this one.

I refuse to give advice to or support to people who try to justify cheating because they were 'impaired' enough that this would happen without having been given sufficient thought.

[Red_Arrow]

It has been a long time since I drank much. But when I did, I can remember that there were alcohols that the taste and smell were minor, even though the alcohol content was high. And with the right juices, it can hide the alcohol.

[kaylaS91]

@Red_Arrow.. would you forgive your s/o if she cheated on you, and used the same defense?

[Red_Arrow]

My SO would not have been sticking with a guy so that he would be giving her drinks of any kind. And if some guy had managed to spike her drinks from afar, I would be out to beat him to a pulp, not blaming her. But that was my wife. I knew her completely. This girl made a mistake trusting this guy.

[justbanANNAz]

i dont blame him.
im also curious as to how you wouldn't be suspicious when someone is continually offering u juice. no one does that. he wouldn't keep offering you juice. since you are at a party, you need to remember that the presence of alcohol is always a possibility, even if you dont know it. at least u know now.

anyway, i understand your man's anger because something similar happened with me, but the other way around. you will REALLY have to explain yourself or hope for a miracle. maybe he'll understand and give you another chance.

[FakeName123]

What can you do? First of all admit you done goofed and don't push it on the alcohol. There arepeople who have been full-on wasted and opportunities and still managed to refuse someone else. You didn't. Alcohol is not an ecxuse, it doesn't make you do things you wouldn't otherwise. It just decreases your inhibitions.

Secondly you should keep trying to make things up for messing up. Apologise, think of things how to try to get to show him that you mean it, etc. But don't do it daily. He needs some space to let things sink in as well.

And thirdly - lets assume you manage to get him to give you a scond chance - the trust is broken. You don't even start at zero trust but are in the realms of below zero and all that has to be slowly rebuild including him mistrusting you, etc.

[GingerGuy]

You can keep trying to convince him but the trust has been broken now between you and it will take a long time (if ever) to rebuild that. I don't know how long you guys have been together but alcohol or not, most people can still make that judgement to kiss someone or not. If you were impaired that much you may have a drinking problem? If he's ignoring you now it's over for him 100%. You can keep trying but you likely facing a loosing battle. You might just have to chalk it up to you messed up, take it as a learning lesson and move on as best you can. Keep this in mind for future relationships.

[Anonymous]

Gotta love how girls blame everything else. If the shoe were on the other foot you would be furious at him.

Funny how I'm responsible for anything and everything I do regardless how drunk I am. But with women it's "because I was drunk..."

Why is it that I often see posts from girls "I cheeted because of this that and the other."
But not from guys. From guys it's always "I did a really stupid thing..."

Time to start taking responsibility ladies.
You are just looking more and more pathetic.

[MargaritaPeach]

Drinking lowers your inhibitions, but it doesn't alter your morals. If a sober you wouldn't cheat, a slightly intoxicated you wouldn't, either. And where were your friends when this guy was getting you drunk? One of them should have intervened and steered you away from him. I'd say just call it a loss, work on getting over him, and start looking for a new guy to date.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I don't get how you didn't know you were drinking alcohol. Even if there is a little bit in there, you can still taste a difference. Also, I don't blame your boyfriend for it at all. You don't even want to take responsibility, you just want to blame the alcohol for it and everyone else. You don't deserve him. He deserves a lot better than some girl who cheats the moment she tries alcohol.

[1GuyOpinion]

It up to him to decide whether or not to forgive you. Some people never forgive the act of cheating. And you just have to move on.

Only thing you can do is , since he not answer text/phone call, try and talk to him in person. Explain that you are drunk and you wasn't thinking straight and apologize.

[DarkManX]

Move on , if I were on you boyfriend place I'd do the same.
Or let him fuck another girl while you know about it and be with him again,
in order to understand how we guys are feeling when a girl do that. ;)

[Anonymous]

You knew what happened so i would say that you were not as drunk, you still have control over yourself. If my boyfriend does that to me, i would leave too. But anyways, just communicate to him about it and change.

[SomeoneImportant]

If he left you right off the bat like that, and is completely avoiding you. Then I say let it go

He's gone

[Anonymous]

What can you do? Let him go.
If you love him as much as you say you do, then you'll realize that he deserves better than you.

[SovereignessofVamps]

It sounds so innocent... but if my boyfriend did that I'd be pissed.

[Marttinez]

All you can do is give him time and space to think if he's gonna forgive you.

[anonman32]

you fucked up, you cheated. you allowed some random dude to make you drunk and you cheated on your boyfriend. he did the right thing.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

This seems like a mild case of i slipped and fell ass first onto a dick.

[jamesdegod]

Lol be quiet your a drunk going round cheating on your boyfriend, id leave ya

[evenlift]

He did the right thing.

[abundantlyrich]

You sound easy

[Jersey2]

Its over.

[Anonymous]

He has a right to leave you

[stlArtGuy]

threesome...