How can I stop my ex having power over me?

[Anonymous]

Basically my ex had and still has power over me. I am in a place of the getting over period where I can see what he done was wrong, (playing me), but I still want him back. Every time I seem to be getting on with my life I have little slip ups and he takes advantages of these.

How can I show him that he isn't in control anymore? I know the obvious thing to do would be ignore him or get someone new but I don't think these things would work with him. I want to do actively do something that will show him that I can do better than a cheating player like him. Please help

[thetheme]

First off, I am sorry that he treated you that way. You deserve better. That being said, you need to work on your self esteem. Don't rush to get anyone else. That makes it seem like you just don't want to be alone and many people will see right through that. You don't want to put yourself in the position to get used again. You are emotionally distraught right now. Secondly, you answered your own question. Cutting off ALL contact is the way to get your power back. No calls, no texts, no emails... You can't heal if you are communicating with him or around hin. So what you have to do is move on, work on yourself, get in touch with friends and family (but don't always talk about your ex because that gets annoying), have some fun, meet new people, start dating (not a relationship but dating), take up some new hobbies, do some shopping, work on getting a promotion at your job, study harder at school... All of this keeps you busy, active, and makes you more attractive. This restores your confidence, and puts you in control of your life. Don't be friends with him and don't settle for anything that's going to hurt you, you are better than that. You must have a life and treat yourself good in order for other to appreciate you and treat you good as well. I am going through no contact as well so I know how hard it is, but the days go by, you get better, and it gets easier. Just be patient.