I feel obligated toward my ex girlfriend?

I met my new girlfriend about a month back, she is wonderful and I am so in love with her. I also just got out of a 3 year relationship with someone I lived with and have been in the process of moving out. Yesterday, I went there to move the rest of my stuff out and she gets a call that her father passed away of a heart attack. She really doesn't have anybody else and asked me to be there for her through it, the funeral, etc. I feel obligated to be there. I called my girlfriend this morning and explained the situation and she was sympathetic and patient toward me. I miss her so much and don't want her to think I am leaving her and getting back with my ex. She said she is understanding of the situation. Is it fair of me to do this? I am truly not in love with my ex anymore, but feel like I should be there. What would you do and have you ever been in this situation? How much time should I expect her to give me during this time?

theyareallcrazy: What I meant was how much time do you think she will give me, a few days, a week. It's out of town unfortunately, and I can't even call her often because it would be like kicking my ex when she's down.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Be there for your ex. Just because you don't make good "couple" material doesn't mean you can't be friends. If you're an honest, trustworthy person, you will gain a lot of respect from your ex and hopefully as well as your new girlfriend.

    Even though the new chick may say she understands, it doesn't mean that she's comfortable with it. Be prepared to support the new girl a little more, emotionally, while you're going through this with your ex.

    Hopefully, what you'll get out of this is knowing that you helped your friend (ex) out as well as gained some trust and respect from the new chick. After all, how can a person say that they trust you when you're never in a position to prove it?

    I have been there for ex's before. I have had current girlfriends say "If I asked you to choose me or the ex, what would you do." My response to the girl was "Nice knowing ya." At that point, she had no choice but to give me the opportunity to PROVE that she could trust me.

    What does "How much time should I expect her to give me during this time?"


What Girls Said 1

  • You and your ex were together for 3 years, so I am sure that you have grown close with her family. Even if she didn't ask you to be there for her, would you still want to go to the funeral? If you said yes, then I don't think there should be a time limit. You are grieving also. Just be aware that death can bring 2 people closer together. And just because you are over the relationship, doesn't mean she is. I think your new girl sounds very nice and I don't know if I could be so understanding


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