Break up because he was too comfortable?

My boyfriend of 2 years broke things off about a month ago (hes 27 and I'm 26) and he said that he thought the relationship was too comfortable. He said he had this unexplainable deep feeling, that made him feel I might not be "the one" He said I've been the perfect girlfriend and he just can't explain it, but he thinks we should see other people because we probably won't be able to make each other happy in the future. He couldn't name one negative thing about the relationship. He said I'm his best friend and that all the time we spent was sincere and that he cares for me.

This all happened after at least 3 weeks of him constantly seriously bringing up marriage, kids, buying a house and telling me how wonderful I am. I happily agreed with all of these suggestions. He was even acting overly excited talking about a big surprise he had for me. I thought I would be getting a ring as my surprise. When I was away one of the weeks he constantly was checking in, saying how much he missed me. I never pressured for marriage, he brought the idea up on his own and I excitedly agreed. He seemed absolutely in love with me, more than ever before and seemed as excited as when we first started dated. Our sex life continued to be great, both of our jobs and other areas of our life were going great. I have no idea what happened.

So its now been a month since the breakup and a week of no contact (we had been talking only to exchange stuff/ and once for me to ask if he really had a reason, not just an "unexplainable feeling." The last email I received from him was him apologizing for how awful he has made me feel. He said that he hopes that I find happiness again. (no trying to get back together again)

I'm moving on, and not planning on him giving me an explanation or anything but does anyone have any insight on what may have happened or what this unexplainable feeling is about.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That sounds just like my ex. We were only together about 10 months but we had little to no real problems and were making plans for the future. We had 2 big conversations in the two weeks before we broke up where we both expressed how happy we were. And then he's on my doorstep saying we will never communicate in a way that will make us happy in the future-but he doesn't want to work on it either.

    I'm really sorry that this happened to you too! It sucks when you think you're set and then your world is thrown upside down. Good for you for moving forward and accepting he won't be able to explain himself. And really is there anything he could say that would make you feel better anyway? I know we get this idea that a closure convo will make all the difference but really, it just adds more salt to the wound.

    Whatever his "unexplainable feeling" is all about it is certainly nothing you did wrong. It really ISNT you it's HIM! (who knew that really happened huh?). From what I've been able to realize about my own ex is that apparently he likes the idea of committment with the house, the woman, the kids, but not so much the doing. It really could just be an issue of timing. He's just not as ready as he said which means he shouldn't have led you to believe in him. But again, that's on him. Sorry this is so long-it just really reminds me of the situation I found myself in only 6 weeks ago!

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  • this just happened to me a week (or less) ago and I'm just feeling awful. weekends are the worst. he said there's no more love, no feelings, just too comfortable with each other. and yes, there is someone new, though he claims she isn't the main factor, I'm certain that is a catalyst. I mean, seriously, no feelings? love is a decision, not a feeling. if the sparks die, you find them back, don't you?

    anyway I'm trying my hardest to get over. I'm surprised to find this page when I googled "break up because too comfortable", if there are people who got this as a reason just like I did, I really don't know how to fall in love anymore. so we're not supposed to get comfortable? he used to think I was a party animal, and when I settled down and stop doing that, he said we're too comfortable. I still find it impossible to understand.

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  • I hate to bring this up, but...He met someone else?

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    • P.S. Or maybe he's terrified of finally committing.

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    • There ya go. Maybe if he gets some time to himself, he'll come running back.

    • Hope it doesn't take him too long

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