Ex boyfriend seems annoyed I am happy?

Ex boyfriend seems annoyed I am happy?

we're a LDR (long distance relationship). he broke up with me, he broke my heart. I didn't sleep, eat, anything.. but cry... and tried not to show him this. however, I tried winning him back every way I could think of.. from crying to leaving him completely alone; only he's never left me alone. even when I thought he didn't realize he was making a mistake, I stuck around, waiting for him to say sorry or tell me he changed his mind.. but instead, more and more I felt like I was falling into some "friendship" role or "back up girl".. I realized even though I can see it was probably going to end, I realized perhaps I didn't want to lose him as a friend either. and it didn't always work, but so far so good, we seemed to be getting along. but today when we spoke on the phone, he seemed irritated that I accepted this breakup (he caused). that I'm happy and moved on. he thinks I'm also OK with him meeting other women and I'm dating other guys.. I led him to believe that honestly. I thought it would be good for me to fall into "character".. so I can be further accepting.. and to be honest, I wanted to see his reaction. not to play games, but, ONLY to make him realize what he lost. and I thought it wasn't working.. but he hung up on me, said he would call me another time when he felt better (mentally)... and when, he said, we're "both happy".. I told him I AM happy.. he rambled a few topics that were lame attempts to make me jealous.. instead it irritated me and made me realize what a flake he is.. and I lost even more respect for him for: not respecting me moving on after HE broke up with me and I had SUCH a hard time... =(... for TRYING to make me jealous when I have no reason to be... and last, hanging up on me... what gives? he said something about thinking about things and giving it another try and maybe meeting when I'm on vacation.. but honestly.. I don't feel right now I want to go backwards.. that's what I feel like I'm doing.. and I'm a really happy person generally; and he always weighs me down, always depressing - we used to laugh and have fun, now I find it a challenge to speak to him, he's either boring or he's depressing... and then I always get to look forward to the "hang up".. even being his friend is a challenge. we work together and often NEED to be in contact, but I'm reconsidering that too. what does he want from me? is it only that he hates the idea I moved on before him? or that I'm happy? I was devastated, and he didn't care! I bawled my eyes out... lost so much weight.. but now when I'm done, he's mad at me? seriously? what do you think? yes, leaving him in the past OK, most will say. but I mean, what's going on in his head?

ps I want to add I'm not so happy. I'm really trying to be.. and I'm trying to move on and live my life as he told me (and one time screamed at me while I sat speechless on the phone in shock).. I just thought he'd be happy that I wasn't on his case...
anyway, he poked me today on fb, but said nothing.. wtf? and I haven't attempted to contact him. it kinda annoyed me.. the poke & then silence.. like what can I add to that? it isn't interesting to be poked by an ex that hangs up on you... ? seriously?
thanks guys. the worst part is I got a pkg in the mailbox today, it was a gift, something that he had to search for to find; and is seasonal.. he made great efforts to find this and send it.. I felt obligated to thank him although I felt weird to.. but i
i thought it would be rude to not say thank you. I haven't gotten a response back yet. I'm sure this was part of the reason he's upset. I haven't officially moved on, but I wanted him to believe that so he doesn't think I'm clingy. and I want to try.
thanks for your great tips, I appreciate them. they totally make sense. hope I can keep the strength to keep going.
just an update. he's made quite a few attempts: SMS/email/FB to contact me after I thanked him. I really haven't spoken to him, only one very very brief response early yesterday. he continued today briefly as well. I feel like I don't have anything to
say to him? I feel like he never apologized, upped the ante, changed his ways.. but he wants to continue.. what? there isn't anything left. the crumbs he's offering I'm not interested in. this is all so lame & sad to me. just don't have more 2 say. :(
oh crap. I started to reply to someone and had limited text. sorry. =\


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to cut ties with this guy. It's obvious that he's only continuing to drag you down and make you feel lousy even though the relationship is over. His continued interjection into your life will only drag out your feelings for him and your relationship. If you phase him out you will start to think about it less and less. As the expression goes, out of sight, out of mind. I understand that may be challenging given you do some sort of work together, but I'd even suggest you professionally begin to distance yourself from him as well.

    As to why he's annoyed that you're "happy", you are completely right. He is angry that you are "happy" and have moved on before he has. His attempts to make you jealous and vague comments about getting back together are only there to try and make you unhappy.

    You just really need to get this guy out of your life. He's too much of a negative influence.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Bonjour Miss,

    This is one of those, "He does want you, when he can't have you," phases.

    I'll make this one a bit shorter than my typical replies.

    The straight answer is, he's toxic. I know you've had some feelings towards him, but this scenario isn't going to change. He's more power oriented. he broke up with you most likely to see your reaction to have that control over you, the crying and lack of sleep and what else that follows.

    But guess what, that's over, you're happy. You're a free agent, you've moved on and you have a whole world of guys at your door waiting to make you smile.

    Obviously he doesn't like this and he wants you back now, wants you in that submissive controlled state where he can toy with your emotions.

    I imagine that is how the LDR (Long Distant Relationship) was for the most part, ups and downs.

    Him trying to make you jealous is a complete classic case of him trying to make you fall into the same old traps over and over again. If he can get an reaction from you by doing this, this that's an emotional based reaction, and that's something he has over you.

    The good thing is, LDR, means you do not have to see him.

    What you should do:

    Turn off all communications with him, he's poison, it won't change. Move onto someone who is going to be there to make you smile. It is an almost certain guarantee that you will repeat the cycle again and again.

    best of luck,


  • yea you deffinitly need to split with him cut off all communication he's feeling down so he's gonna try to bring you down with him so just try to cut off all communication with him

  • He may have met someone else he wanted to have sex with broke up and then expected to go back to you when he was done with her...


What Girls Said 5

  • This sounds similar how me and my ex ended it and once his new girlfriend turned up in his life I was soon forgotten again! You need to cut contact with him and spend A LOT of time with your mates either meeting new people or having nights in with them seriously they help you 100%

    As for the job thing can't you let someone know (high up) that you can't work with him anymore? Cause then you can't have him accidentally asking you stuff?

    He sounds like an ass that doesn't want you to move on until he does first trust me I know my ex was the same and he even dumped me over the phone!

    You will feel so much better in yourself if you 1 stop talking to him (I know that want to keep talking to your ex cause they know everything about you like a best mate but cause he's acting this way it won't ever be the same sadly) and 2 go out with your mates let all your feelings out onto them and just try to have fun and when someone asks you to join them say yes because that way you do new things and keep your mind off him.. He should soon disappear if not block him on facebook then he might get the hint!

    • We worked independently together and invested time, money, work etc together... at first I didn't want to lose that, nworkwise.. now I'm OK with it. I just wanted him to go.

      and yea, mine was over the phone too. when he was here I asked him if it wasn't for him to end it here, or in person .. to please not do it by text phone email.. etc.. and he promised me it's NOT what he wanted, he wanted to try..he wanted to be together.. he went home and would talk to his boss.. was going to move or

    • Show All
    • Yep I agree.. he's only gotten worse and now he's invaded my other areas in life... he has to go.. big time.

    • Block him its a start and he might then get the point. You sound like a lovely person so don't worry you'll meet someone new :) x

  • He sounds like he wanted to be the first to move on. He wanted to be the one to have gotten over the relationship and have another girlfriend before you have a boyfriend. It sounds like a competition between you two, only you pipped him to the post and he is not understanding now, cos he thinks that you never had much of a feeling towards him,since you moved on quicker than him.

    Yes the situation is confusing and it will remain so, until he stops acting childishly. Hanging up the phone on anyone is rude behaviour. Poking you on FB, well that doesn't mean a thing. He is only trying to catch your attention and annoy/confuse you further.

    He wanted out of the relationship and you are letting yourself in for heartache each and every time he acts the way he does. He may be an ex who is in contact with you but he is certainly not behaving in a friendly manner or as a friend.

    You need to take time away from him and don't replay to him or contact him for a while. He is draining you.

  • he's a moron and he's feeding bad emotional vibes. just don't have any contact with him. more distance, no talking, no nothing is the best way to deal with this guy.

  • I thought my husband’s leaving was all my fault. After a week of separation I found out about the other woman. I stood for my marriage; I never gave up. I tried and tried to speak to him but he refused. One day he decided to talk to me and we had a good talk. The week after that he called me for lunch. After several months of separation, he moved back home after breaking off the relationship. We just celebrated the best Thanksgiving ever. We are still working on restoring our marriage but we know it will be better than ever before. My husband has thanked me for not giving up on him. I am thankful for prophet James 's faithfulness and his! great spell, you can contact him via prophetjameshomeofanswer@hotmail. com or cell phone +2347035825346

  • I am so sorry to hear.

    Be strong, be happy so you can look your best :)


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