My ex-boyfriend treats me like crap - why is that?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend were together for 8 months, but then broke up because he said he did not want a relationship at the moment. A month later he came begging for me to take him back and saying he loved me more than anyone. I did. Two weeks we spent together that were perfect, he treated me like princess, but then his friend called me his friend - and I realized we were just "seeing each other" in his eyes as he still did not want a relationship, but just wanted to see how we can do together first before committing (we used to fight a lot before we broke up, so he wanted to see if we can go without fighting for a while). I wanted a serious relationship and after finding out he had sex with a girl after we broke up (he said he needs rebound and never spoke to her again), we ended it. We haven't spoken for three days and I went to the concert that we were supposed to go together with my guy friend. He texted my friend asking if I was still going, and after learning that I was going with my guy friend - as friends - messaged me saying he is coming and coming not alone, and asked not to make a scene. He walked with her past me and my friend at the bar on purpose and I ignored both of them. Since then we haven't spoken again, until today (3 days later), he asked to return his things whenever I am available. I said he can come pick it up - but he never messaged back or came. Why is he treating me like crap and hurting like that? Showing up with a girl in front of me, then just ignoring when needs his stuff? Any advice? I really love him and wanted future with him.

[guy532]

Well I'm guessing you ended it the second time, which left him hurt. He was probably a mess after the breakup and banged this girl because he thought it would make him happier/feel in control of his life. However, he realised a bit too late that he still wanted to be with you. He was cautious and scared because of how things were before so he wanted to take it slow so neither of you got hurt. He didn't want to be in a relationship with you if it was going to be the same thing. He really did want to be in a relationship with you though, he was just scared. You then found out you weren't actually together and that he banged another chick so you broke it off (rightfully so). He then found out that you were going to that concert with your guy "friend" (quotes because he doesn't think he's just a friend) and he got super jealous and also hated you for being a hypocrite so he took the immature route and brought another girl with him to show you that he can beat you at your own game if you will.
To be completely honest, you were both partially at fault. You two are just not ready for something very serious and need some more maturing and growing up to do. I think your split is for the best and no matter how shit you feel right now, you'll get over this, promise :). Best of luck!

[Asker]

I would definitely agree that we are both at fault. It just hurts to know that we ruined something that had potential because I was impatient for him to commit and he was just not ready

[pranav07]

It's not your fault that he is treating you this way. Things must be bummer to right now. I feel your pain. I've felt it. I am so sure he doesn't know what are his actions really costing him. Tell him once that you actually wanna get together again no matter what. And you're tired of all kinds of dramas. Don't make it look desperate or like you need him but you need "we" or "us" more than "him" or "you" . And make it clear that if he makes a minor effort from his side you guys could be the perfect couple.

[Anonymous]

I think you're a convenience to him but that doesn't mean he isn't trying to make you jealous so you will continue to be a convenience.
Is it the same girl that was the rebound? If so then that is super fucking shitty.

I have been here, it hurts and its hard to understand how they can be so cruel. But I wasted my time waiting for him and he has yet to change. Finally cut all contact recently after he didn't even message me when I lost a close family member despite us texting a few days before when he found out I was rushing to see the person before they passed and he was being supportive. hadn't heard from him at all that week and I realized how little I actually meant to him. I have been expecting a booty call this weekend, I won't answer and it'd hurt like a bitch but I wouldn't be surprised if it happened or if it happened in the next couple weeks.

[Asker]

No, it was a complete random girl that he picked up that night.

[Littlemissmoonshine]

Easy, he wants you to feel as far away from him as possible without really having to let go of YOU. How silly, right? If he picks up his things, he believes that will be the closure you need to move on and so you'll be done with him for good. But hold up.. he does NOT want you to move on. He'll bring new girls around to make you jealous, but he really wants to keep you around in case he doesn't find what he wants. Trust me, girlfriend. Been there

[Asker]

That sounds very much what I was thinking as well. Thank you for your answer

[RedVelvetJayde]

you're letting him completely walk all over you... dump his ass right away. he doesn't deserve you and he just seems like a petty douche. don't stay hung up on someone like that. I get you've been basically on and off for quite some time, but the more you forgive, the more you get hurt. he doesn't seem like he's gonna change. sorry, but try your best to lose the feelings and find someone who's good to you.

[MandyRuth]

He sounds like a total asshole! Why on earth would you want a future with him? You need to stop looking at the relationship through rose colored glasses and move on. It's better that the relationship ended after 8 months than 8 years. Trust me girl! You are WAY better off!

[admelein]

He's trying to make you jealous. Just ignore him. He's being petty and trying to trick you into getting back together with him. You deserve someone better.

[Asker]

I am doing my best to not speak to him and keep my distance. It truly gives me some peace when I receive some knowledge on what might be going on, thank you.

[admelein]

Glad to help. I hope it works out for you and you find someone better. Finding a guy in their teens or early 20's that want to commit to a serious relationship can be hard. I wouldn't worry about finding a guy too much. School or work is much more important. Just take care of yourself. As you are the most important person in your own life.

[Streamhopper]

You deserve a lot better than him. He'll probably realize that someday. Too late, though.

[Asker]

your reply means a lot to me. Thank you

[Ydobon]

He most likely broke up with you so he could go have sex with that person you mentioned. After he probably realized he didn't like her enough and decided to go back to you. Don't talk to him anymore I know it must hurt but don't someone else will come into your life Soo enough just keep your head up 😊 I hope you well lots of love going your way

[James_R_G]

Exactly this ^

[yetanotherguy]

Please stop thinking about him and find someone else. His patterns are much like 'he is using use'. I am really sorry to make you feel even bad, but some things needs to be said and said sooner the better. You are way better than him and he doesn't deserve 0.01% of you.

[Christopherjohn308w]

He’s a jerk he treated you like a princess but it changed after he got to the pot of honey at the end of the rainbow. He then thought he can have it any time he likes at the same time looking around for another conquest. it’s all about ego. His ego. I don’t want you and no one else can have mentality. It’s not worth it give him the big flick.

[Unknown1777]

If I were you, I would burn his stuff... no don't do that.
Just throw his stuff out the window, if he doesn't come pick it up a homeless person will

[Asker]

yo, this is the best response someone could have possibly written

[Unknown1777]

You're welcome

[katshot871]

Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Face it girl, you're just a convenience to him

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. That is what I figured too. Just really sad considering how in love we were that he would turn into such an asshole

[katshot871]

I'm sorry he's such an asshole, but look at it as a learning experience and choose the next man for the qualities you want in a guy.

[sunshine9a]

He's mad. He brought he by to make you jealous, but he won't pick up the stuff because he's probably afraid to see you. He probably still feels strongly for you

[lazermazer]

Let that shit go, you will fall in love again. Don't ruin your life in him.

[Leonard58]

He’s definitely not ready for a long relationship that’s all. Most men under 30-35 is playing the field, boys being boys as they would say.

[eziegler81]

Well sounds like he is immature and wants to date and play the field. Find a new guy to fall in love with.

[reptocarl]

Forget it you’re not having a future with him ever. You think you’d learn this by now

[es20490446e]

I would say "I only deal with people that treat me well".

[OlderAndWiser]

Loving the drama you created?

[sunworker408]

There are bigger and better fish in the sea!

[Canadaman99]

Because that's what ex's do

[seyyh4]

Squizee his balls, sometimes it works

[ok604]

Because your dumb ass is still talking to him

[Asker]

I haven't spoken to him since I have left him.

[ok604]

If there's no contact, he can't treat you like anything

[ww2god]

He's a douche

[paul21]

Jellous I guess