Why do guys prioritize video games over their SO?

Question

Ayer93 · Accepted Answer

It's well carved into societal norms that games, anime and manga should be demonized. They're seen as a waste of time, an addiction, and a sign of immaturity. If you don't focus on "your life" (work, school, or "real passions), you're considered a loser by most. But "most" are sheep. What is the difference between gaming and following the mass cultural religion of sports? Watching sports is just watching a bunch of overpaid athletic people play a game. People spend money to go to these games or bet money on them, buy the balls, jerseys and signatures of players. If you logically analyze it, it's just as much of a "waste of time" as playing games, watching anime or reading manga, except games in many cases is more intellectually stimulating. Also would you rather someone gamed or smoked or did drugs? An average smoker spends anywhere from $1500 to $3300 on smokes a year. That's money that could have been used on vacation and literally has NO benefit. So why is gaming, anime and manga so demonized? Whenever people see someone watching anime, they think "oh they still watch cartoons?" They don't realize there are many animes with mature content. The reason Netflix is okay in society is because it's generally real people acting. People tend to associate things with real people and reality to be more productive or an efficient way to spend time.

Guys play games because they are consistent. They are a great way to focus on something that relaxes them and gives them a temporary escape from the stresses of reality. Even relationships take effort and most people require time to themselves. I don't understand why most girls don't understand this. If they're gaming 24/7 and it's getting in the way of their relationship and social life, that's a different story, but many guys know how to balance. Girls for some reason feel the need to get a guy's attention while he's playing and not when he's completely free. It's as if they want that focus he has on the game to be only for them. It's extremely immature in my opinion. Give the guy his space and let him game.

KenM9215 · Accepted Answer

I honestly do know of any guys who have or ever would ignore an S. O. for video games.

I never would BUT also at the same time I would like my S. O. to understand that I might need some time to myself to just unwind and have a little fun, just as I would understand if she needed the same. All she would have to do is ask. I wouldn't tell her "you've been doing that thing you enjoy doing for over an hour, or two, or five, you should stop" I'd say "Have fun, I'm here when you're done :) ".

I'd even invite her to play from time to time if she would be willing OR even maybe watch me play a story intensive game and we can discuss the plot or the characters.

Would I ever ignore an S. O for playing video games or really doing any of my hobbies or things I enjoy doing for fun? no, but I would never let her be my sole and only means of entertainment. THAT does not make for a healthy relationship or even a healthy person. Its really about balance in life, and yes there will be times were that balance shifts when one thing needs your attention more, but you should always strive for harmony in that balance as much as you can.

Littleblueridinghood · Accepted Answer

They don't. Its just something that makes them happy, that they truly enjoy doing. It may seem like theyre prioritizing ut over you because you dont feel the same way, therefor you find it mundane or pointless. I dint think there is a single dude on the planet who has thought to himself that his video games are more important than the girl that he cares for. Think about something you love to do, somethung that you would use most of your free time to do because it makes you happy and relieves stress, then imagine your partner being mad at you for doing it, or sayung that you care more about it than them.

Its an odd line of thinking and a very easy answer to find.

Maybe if the games are sonething you feel is in between you and your relationship you should maybe try to play with him. Ask him to teach you how to play, or find a game you like to play that he can play with you or help you with. This will, bring you guys closer, and lessen the feeling you have towards his gaming. If you're not willing to understand why he loves to, olay games, and you're not capable of accepting the fact that its something he enjoys doing, no matter how often, maybe you shouldn't be together.

Being in love and being in a relationship is about learning to accept someone good and bad, and if you're dating an avid gamer, and you're getting jealous of a video game, the problem lies eith you not him.

I'm sorry if this comes off as rude as that is not my intention at all. Simply my opinion.

I hope you have a wonderful day and that everything works out.

Also, a couple that plays together stays together.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

Because those types of guys think prioritizing themselves is greater than things you do for a relationship. Happened to me all the time when he thought he could just not do his dishes because he needed alone time. If you need alone time, you should probably check in on your partner before checking out like that. Women need intimacy and I don't think some guys realize how their video games takes time away from that. Tons of guys are like just join, but I want to think, maybe he should invite you to join if it's truly just a game.

Elaine_17 · Accepted Answer

Obviously, he isn't invested into the relationship. If you mean more to him, he'll prioritize his relationship over video games. For those who say video games are important/never leave you, yeah, sure, but why have a girlfriend if you aren't going to prioritize her over video games (which don't leave) over the person you are going out with/someone who CAN leave? You can have time for video games, but going into a relationship without spending time/prioritizing her? You know for sure you could lose her.

madhatters4 · Answer

well the vast majority of guys do not prioritize video games over a SO so then we are asking why do some people prioritize material items, hobbies, work, friendships, etc, etc, etc over a partner

the answer i guess is that in their view whatever it is the put over their SO is simply a greater priority in their life. perhaps it gives them greater enjoyment, greater reward... whatever it is i guess the simple answer is that in their mind the reward of the hobby, job, friendship, sport, etc, etc is greater than that of SO

Dause · Answer

In my opinion, an ideal relationship usually involves each side crossing over their boundaries on occasion. If you got over your bias and did some stuff with him that he enjoys and were able to genuinely enjoy it with him, he will be hooked on that feeling. Then, so long as he is also a decent human being, so long as you can think of something you would genuinely enjoy doing he might be able to cross over and do with you as well... then neither of you will any longer be doing things separately as often in order to relieve stress, he will probably not be (as) prone towards just the video games when releasing stress.

Zefram · Answer

Look, my girl has to understand when RDR2 comes out, I'm fucking playing it for like 8 hours straight no question.

That said if she wants my attention and I'm in the middle of a match all she has to do is show her tits or ass I'm dead in the game no problem. I love to win and not pause or leave a COD match but I'm leaping at my girlfriend pussy if she comes looking I'm sorry.

Plus I've managed to get her interested in watching me play and I like when we sit there hanging with my Xbox on so that works.

thoughtprocess11 · Answer

I see this a lot and is indeed mainly guys who are addicted to video games but occasionally females as well. First, you have to identify what it is and that is an addiction. If your significant other is playing video games for hours at a time on a regular basis they are hooked on it. That is a red flag because over time you are going to develop a distain for their "hobby" and the fact they are neglecting you. Playing an occasional game is fine. Even cooler is to occasionally play one together but first and foremost they must remember this is a relationship and you should be doing things together. Them sitting in front of a screen emotionally more attached to that game than you is not healthy and is not a sustainable relationship. Say something now if it bothers you or the problem is only going to get worse.

MM442 · Answer

Guys need something to do. Women have made it clear not to bug them all the time. Some women will complain about anything men would do, woodworking, sports, bowling, reading books, etc. Women should join their mate and play video games with their mate, just as women expect their SO to do things women like. Women want alone time then when men find something they like without their SO some women can't stand men are having fun without them. Most men will stop gaming to be with you women. Men can't win no matter what we do! Why don't you women just enjoy being with your SO no matter what he does?

ausmaster · Answer

It depends on the guy. It's a problem on the individual level. I play a shit ton of video games. I'm currently playing FFXIV right now with her and I include her in my video game fun. However, I always had a thing in my head that prioritizes her over video games. I never put video games over my girlfriend because my girlfriend is the most wonderful thing in my life. So this is a matter of priorities.

pitzi · Answer

Well when I had a boyfriend I used to sometimes "prioritize" video games over him, since I either wanted some time alone... or because video games relax me way more than anyone else could and I wanted to relax for a bit. Plus, they're fun.

But it would be better sometimes just playing together...

TripleAce · Answer

well a relationship doesn't = give up the things you enjoy lol
its also not just because you now got a girlfriend... that she needs to prioritize everything in his life with her...

you get into a relationship to add on top of everything you already do... not take stuff away lol...

FinalVow · Answer

boys do men don't. also it is coping mechanism for guys. just an idea why not join him? not saying that because I play games. I do play them and while I would put my SO before anything except maybe sleep having a SO who is down to play some games would be super awesome. and a good way to bond and have something special.

MayBlythe · Answer

Speak for your so, but it's not just guys. I prioritize gaming over my own family all the time (Unless it's something life threatening, I'm not THAT heartles)

Hurlyburly · Answer

Umm in which way? My boyfriend is a gamer (as I am) but I won't say that he ever prioritized gaming over me. I guess the difference between you and me is that I don't expect him to spent time with me 24/7...

Joshua22 · Answer

It depends to the severity of your question like some of us just use it mainly for the chat to keep in touch and have fun with old friends who live far and wide and we'd only do it in our time but I guess you're talking about the extreme cases who would rather ignore their SO after inviting them over to play games on their own that I can't help you with as I speak on behalf of all men we don't get it either

sayitaintso85 · Answer

No me
I'm the most caring and sensitive guy
''honey?''
''what?''
''Can you...''
''I'm on the fucking computer, give me a god damn minute!''
''Sorry"
"Fuck, your so pushy''
anyway yeah I like just know what she want's before she asks, I write poetry and shit and rub feet with oil and yeah.

questformytelos · Answer

Videogames simulate things that are actually primal in the human brain, especially male brains. Competition, solving complex problems, that sorta thing. Has a nice addictive dopamine release in the game which forms a somewhat addictive response. I prior generations you might have asked "why do guys prioritize the bar over their SO"

blkhermano · Answer

Because their is a rewards system with a video game, it's competitive, it's easier to understand, there's hardly any guilt if you cheat on the game (not any repercussions), it brings a sense of control, we talk to it and it does not respond back, and we can pause or end it whenever we want without any complications.

A SO is far more complex than any of those options. However, I would choose a SO over a game 85% of the time (I'm factoring in disagreements lol)

witherwing · Answer

He plans to make a career out of it, so I completely understand why it's a big priority. It's his future. I've still never felt like it overshadows our relationship.

silverqueen · Answer

I’ve noticed that this tends to happen more often in immature or young men. Although, I have to admit, I’m a gamer as well. So I’d probably join him instead of complaining.

Still. This tends to happen amongst immature/young guys.

CaviarLilly · Answer

Cause they're great. You should learn to play too and play with him. Otherwise, don't date a gamer. Gaming is a lifestyle

McKellar · Answer

Because it's our time. If we put all of our attention on you girls,.. you're probably just going to "feel smothered",... probably not creeped out because you are dating the guy, but I'm sure smothered for sure. We want to chill out by either gaming or hanging with our bros or something. If you want more time with your boyfriend,... you'll need to work that out with him.

jasco · Answer

cause video games are better at taking away depression then giving it and its just hard to pls some women as for a video games it doesn't act annoying sometimes or get very angry and we dont have to argue with it plus its fun not saying that having a so not fun its just we feel more connected to it then most

Walkerrose · Answer

Ummmm it's not that all guys play video games... my boyfriend loves badminton and he prioritizes badminton over me... I am totally fine with it.. cuz badminton is his passion and he needs some time all for himself...

Schrodingerscat · Answer

They don't? And they also need break, to do their own thing.

Dark93 · Answer

I've always rationalized my video game addiction by saying "at least I'm not high or drunk" but I feel like video games were mainly a 12 year phase for me. They aren't as enjoyable anymore and if I had a girlfriend I'd much rather spend time with her than play a video game.

JuiceGrape · Answer

Because often times, they want the other to show interest and join them.
Also, it's not just about gaming, it's about hanging out with friends. We don't game alone, we play with friends.
As a guy with a girlfriend who sometimes also prioritizes video games over me, it's just a normal human thing to do, not a guy thing.

JDavid25 · Answer

Video games usually eases the person's who playin it mind, it helps them focus on somethin besides they problems, and ish.. I don't think they are prioritizin it over they SO, but just sometimes really engulfed in the game..

Sixgun77 · Answer

I don't think they do in a general sense. However, everyone is going to need some "me" time. If you're in a relationship and you just got a new computer game or book, maybe that particular night you want to chill by yourself and play/read.
Some people have interests that aren't really shareable activities, or ones that both partners are into. My girlfriend loves baseball, but I'm not interested in going.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

No offense intended to anyone, but only an immature idiot does that. Your SO should come first, always.

AlphaGhost · Answer

They won't and if he is doing it, I am with him on this.
Let me tell you winning formula in dating, high standards and just cuz you date him don't mean you own his ass and woman invest nothing in relationships and ask for too much nowadays.

Ellie-V · Answer

Those specific men do that because they are aware that don’t deserve you and therefore they don’t take any action to prove themselves wrong since they get plenty of validation and escape from a stupid game.

1hellothere1 · Answer

Personally because when whenever we want a break from reality we play games to take us away into our wildest fantasies. Also if you ever leave us we leave our reality to join another so we don't feel alone, left out, or abandoned.

tekotoki · Answer

I have this problem and I tried letting it go. It’s their own time and they enjoy themselves. Do you prefer him being expose out there doing some crazy shit? Rather have him home with me playing a game. Asked him to make time for you too have some activies set up or movie night

Decentguy · Answer

a grown up and a mature guy won't do that, even tho im a very old gamer and i loves video games a lot but my first priority would always be my future gf/wife

4nication · Answer

It's his one refuge from the life you chose for both of you.

kitchlo · Answer

Because games are fun, competitive, and if you're annoying your partner because of games, that's very stupid.

kaylaS91 · Answer

Because it takes a lot more effort, time and energy to spend time with another human being than it does to camp out in front of a TV and game/eat fastfood around the clock.

Guanfei · Answer

Because games don't ask us questions, don't cheat, don't get jealous and we can save and start over if we fuck up.

LegendarySir · Answer

We don't. But sometimes you just need your me time. Some alone time. It's not about the video game itself (unless the guy has an addiction), it's about having some time for yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

There was a girl I had a crush on in my freshman college philosophy class. She told me in a conversation "all my boyfriend does is play video games" and I told her I had given that up in college (haven't owned a console since).

Maybe I should have tried to steal her away by showing I had productive hobbies...

A-man-22 · Answer

Video games are designed for fun.  Relationships aren't always fun. No relationship is 100% positive. Video games are a more reliable way to relax and have fun.

Cammy137 · Answer

Im not aware of any men who do. Do you mean that sometimes he'd rather play a video game than listen to you complain about something?

AD240pCharlie · Answer

I would never give up muh video games for anything, but I wouldn't want it to be more important than my relationships. HOWEVER, if she (for some weird reason) wanted me to stop playing video games, then she's not worth it.

ghostqueen · Answer

Only the dudes who aren't invested in the relationship pull that nonsense.

ShortCircuit · Answer

Why don't you just play with him? I'm sure you expect him to participate in your hobbies.

LawShark · Answer

Because going out on a date with your significant other is not going to save the world, but I save mankind every time I play Call of Duty.

pasimuscle · Answer

I don't think that anyone would choose video games instead of their so but if you're playing in an online match, you can't answer texts

BlueBloodBoi · Answer

Don’t generalize, and when they do, it’s cuz they can’t pause

akash667 · Answer

I don't know what you meant by that but I don't think that's necessarily true, while I am very much into gaming I've realised that having a social life is just as important.

Legendary_Shark · Answer

Because in reality video games are way too entertaining and pleasuring than anything else.

Malita55 · Answer

Guys who have their prioritize straight dont do that

AndyDoc · Answer

Some guys are just not ready for a relationship or the commitment aspects of it. I like videogames, but my SO is a bigger priority.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe your guy does all the time.
Others do it rarely as they just don't want to spend 24/7 of their time with their SO and so in their 'me time' they prefer it to be 'only me time' within which they do whatever they feel like doing.

ryancg · Answer

The only time I prioritize a game over a girl is when the game is more interesting. More often than not, a good RPG is far more fascinating and engaging than most people are.

Servus09 · Answer

Video games are a way for guys to unwind and relax. I don't think it's anything personal, it's just at that moment they would rather chill out and have some alone time.

dylanrhodes · Answer

Video games activate create their own reward system in the brain and release dopamine. The temporary boost from the video games is probably more satisfying to him than what you're doing at the moment.

TheUglyMan · Answer

Because video games are far more rewarding than women.

TheBigSoftie · Answer

Not all guys do. You just have a shitty guy to be around.

Anonymous · Answer

Why are women like you (thankfully, not all women) controlling and jealous of anything that takes any of his attention away from her?

neoagent1 · Answer

I don't. I would never turn down sex to play a video game.

yourfutureboyfriend · Answer

Games are the best fucking way for a entertainment
We like games but I guess that dosnt answers your question
If I would have girlfriend she would be more important than games but this ain't gonna happen so I'll just play till I die

splingydude · Answer

Videogames are an escalist, cathartic medium. If they do this they probably have a lot of stress or testosterone if they like to compete.

Why do guys prioritize video games over their SO?

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