Do girls ever regret or feel sorry for someone they reject who had feelings for them?

[Anonymous]

[Rixdare]

Elizabeth Bennet didn't (tho Darcy was asking for it!) ...

MR DARCY: In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
In declaring myself thus, I am fully aware that I will be going expressly against the wishes of my family, my friends, and, I hardly need add, my own better judgment.
The relative situation of our families is such that any alliance between us must be regarded as a highly reprehensible connection. Indeed, as a rational man, I cannot but regard it as such myself, but it cannot be helped.
Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard, which, despite all my struggles, has overcome every rational objection, and I beg you, most fervently, to relieve my suffering and consent to be my wife.

ELIZABETH: In such cases as these, I believe the established mode is to express a sense of obligation, but I cannot. I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to cause pain to anyone, but it was most unconsciously done, and I hope will be of short duration.

MR DARCY: And this is all the reply I am to expect? I might wonder why, with so little effort at civility, I am rejected.

ELIZABETH: And I might wonder why, with so evident a desire to offend and insult me, you chose to tell me that you like me against your will, against your reason, and even against your character. Was this not some excuse for incivility, if I was uncivil?
I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. Do you think any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who's been the means of ruining the happiness of a most beloved sister?
. . .
The mode of your declaration merely spared me any concern I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner. You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it. From the very beginning, your manners impressed me with fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. I had not known you a month before I felt you were the last man in the world whom I could ever marry.

[James_R]

This is a timely question for me because I am going through a situation like this right now. I met a girl 4 years ago, fell hard, and gave the relationship all I had. We got engaged after she picked out a wedding dress and it seemed to be going in the right direction. Then she went back to London 3 years and a month ago and I didn't hear from her despite my attempts to contact her for 3 months. I was so heartbroken and then I received a letter breaking up with me at Christmas 2016. She'd met some French guy, got pregnant and had his baby about 18 months ago. Periodically she kept in touch only when she was down and most recently she's called it quits with baby daddy. On my business trip last week I met up with her and she said something was missing and that's why she didn't come back.

I was at fault for staying in touch, but she did lead me on I feel just so she could get some comfort when she needed it. I've learned a lot through the last 4 years, but like all growth it's been tough.

I don't know what she felt or didn't or even if she felt remorse. In the end I don't think it matters; the relevant thing now is to move on and not continue the circle, heal up, and do the next right thing for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Yes, its horrible lol.
It feels shitty having to reject a guy who so courageously expressed his feelings to you and you had to decline because you don't see a future together.
Especially when you want to be in a relationship, but there's no point in getting in one of you two aren't looking for the same things in a relationship, or if there are certain criterias that you have for a partner that you can't ignore (for many reasons... including a real sense of security in the relationship) and it sucks because you may think that the guy is amazing and sweet, but they don't live up to the habits & practices that you deem fit for a long term relationship

[TrixiePooch]

What if your soul mate met you and knew you were the one but you were at that place in your life when you either didn't know what you wanted or were not quite ready for him, from either reeling from a former relationship or you were not quite through fixing yourself and not back up to snuff yet? So you out of hand rejected him thinking at that time to hell with relationships, who needs one? Then maybe a month later you come to the realization what you had done, but now it is too late and he is with someone else. How would you feel? "Where is the love you could've had , is it gone, or have you thrown it away"?

[Armourdillo]

I don't know girls only care about their own emotions

[ManFrom1982]

... I mean logically if he knew you were the one... Then he'd also know the relationship he's gotten himself into is just temporary. If a guy really feels that way about someone, he wouldn't commit to anyone else until he's certain that that person was beyond his reach for good. A guy recognizing a Soulmate is waaaaay to rare a thing for him to just wander off from no matter how pragmatic he was trying to be about the rejection she'd given him. He might make himself not bother her (or even talk to her if he has pride and confidence), but he'd keep tabs on who she was with, whether she got serious with anyone... And if she really never did, he's likely try to insert himself back in her life after some time had passed. I mean that's just male logic... And yes he might sleep with other girls because his sex drive is a serious thing, but like I say... Temporary.

[TrixiePooch]

@Armourdillo Maybe some do, but not all. Reading on here, it seems a lot of girls care about their man in bed at least.

[Armourdillo]

exactly, he's just a sexual tool, should be heard or have her know about any of his issues. Unless your implying only men who are worthy of sex are allowed to have their problems heard?

[Shamisaansari]

Yes for me it really hurts ; cause I have personally been rejected before. I don’t want to make anyone feel the same way I felt. Specially because you go with your whole braveness to ask someone out and then everyone ruins in a second. Then you’re always scared to tell people that you have feelings for them.

[Anonymous]

I don't regret a guy that I've rejected. Once I decided to, I was sure that I didn't want to be with him, but I did feel sorry for him, because I knew that it didn't feel good, and I started to overthink. I felt bad for him. It must've been heartbreaking. What if he couldn't bear the heartache? Would he do something silly?

I felt bad that he "had to" be rejected because I didn't want him. I felt bad, but I appreciated his admiration and like for me. I have cried after rejecting one or two guys, because I knew it must've hurt.

[Cosytoasty]

http://i.imgur.com/OvKLZNW.gif

They are essentially pitying you for not being up to their standards for a partner. Now that runs really really close to scorn.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

They usually pursue me when I'm taken & deeply involved already. Naturally, I'd say no because I'm faithful. Do they really believe they can successfully snake me away from a committed relationship? I'd feel bad for the nice guy who tried but not for the creep who's taking a shot at me just to see if he can seduce me away from a man I'm already in love with.

[crazy8000]

I know the whole deal with people trying to get someone that are taken or appear to be.
It can be annoying.

[AlbanianYoungLady]

Calm down 😑

[lumos]

I haven't regretted any of the rejections, but I have felt sorry for a few of them before, simply because I know how shitty it can feel to get rejected. I can't help not liking them back so to me it makes the most sense to reject, but that doesn't make it any easier for me or less painful for them. The ones I didn't feel sorry for were assholes.

[annssi]

Yes, i feel worse when i have been in that situation. But in the end, its better to take the short cut and laying all out no matter if it going to hurt them. So i try to think positive, for them and myself.

No one gets something good in that kind of situation, unless you are a careless human being.

[sunsweet]

I feel really bad. It takes a lot to work up to ask someone. I dont feel bad if it's just for sex because I feel very pestered by that, but if a guy likes me yes I do feel bad. Especially because I try to be very nice, and rejecting someone is a hurtful thing.

[anonumax]

There was this guy who had feelings for me once. He was deeply fond of me and one day he opened up and told he wanted to be with me. I had to reject him because the timing was not right I was involved with this other guy (who I was deeply fond) so it wouldn't have been fair to get with him because my heart would've been with someone else. I wanted to be friends with him though, but I had stop myself because that wouldn't have been fair to him as he had feelings for me and it would've been a leading him on situation.

So ya looking back now I regret picking the other guy over him I wish I'd stopped worrying about hurting him and just explored his feelings for me at a pace I would've been comfortable with whilst dealing with my feelings for the other guy.

[MimiHashima]

Yes it happens. Guys try what they can and i give em points for their effort. Though, if I’m seeing someone in particular and/or maybe dating with that someone, I’ll be tactful and sometimes blunt so the other guy (s) don’t waste their time on me and look elsewhere for a potential partner because I’m taken. Half the times i hope they’ll find someone that maybe both beneficial & committing to each other.

[arcanemontane]

If he's genuinely nice and not being an asshole about being rejected, then yeah I would feel bad for hurting his feelings.

[cth96190]

In my experience, no.
In my experience women have been cold and predatory, beneath a fluffy veneer.
A couple of females who rejected me did come back to me, but they were motivated by self interest. They wanted access to my resources, nothing more.
One actually knocked on my door, while the bastard of the bad boy she chose over me snapped at her ankles.
She said that she was homeless and needed somewhere to stay.
I closed the door.
She had made her choice.

[JeniferJenko95]

I used to feel bad back in High School. It got to the point where I would “date” guys just because I felt bad for them.
But now, I don’t think about it much.
I do try to be nice. Because you never know who’s a psycho and who’s not. Lol

[Hurlyburly]

I never regret rejecting someone I wasn't attracted to or had no feelings for but I sure felt sorry for them.

[Lovi87]

Same.

[femalepretzelmaker]

Boooooo

[azzntittiz]

You're not entitled to anyone's attraction to you so why should she feel bad for not wanting to be with you. Whenever you don't feel attraction for a person it's always for a good anyway.

[Hannah02004]

Yes. Most do. But if it doesn't work, then it doesn''t work. I never enjoy hurting anyone's feelings.

[Lostranza]

I think it honestly depends on how that person treated me in general. But yes I feel bad but then I remind myself that the best thing to do is be honest and kind about my feelings towards them because it is the nicest thing I can do.

[ShoeGirl24]

Yeah I’ve felt bad before because so know how it feels. But you can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone!

[Mddennis41]

Hi send me message let me have a chat please thank you

[DaisyBSwan]

Yes. Rejection hurts, and I never like being the reason for someone's pain.

[happyhippo]

Yes of course. I hate hurting people, especially ones that I like being friends with. And I'm sure it's like that with a lot of other girls

[0asis]

I feel bad for rejecting them. But I know I'd feel even worse leading them on only to eventually reject them later on.