Why is my ex annoyed & badmouthing me when he dumped me?

My ex and I went out for 5 1/2 months. We were fine throughout our relationship. We were happy, well I thought we were. We had the usual couple fight here and there but always manage to sort it out. The biggest argument we had was when I was away in AUS for 2 months for work. The argument was about how I expressed more of my feelings than he does and how I felt he didn't make the best of our LDR situation. He doesn't like chatting & I didn't like phone calls but made do given the situation.Anyway, we manage to patch things up and I had about 2 weeks before I head back.

3 days after I got back, he dumped me saying after that fight he realize he couldn't care for me as a lover anymore but only as a friend. He said he had thought about it few weeks before I got back. What was weird, on the day I arrived he was so happy & affectionate. He was a little tipsy from an office event but lucid. We slept together and it was like it was before.No inclination of any misgivings. I was of course in shock because I thought all the while we were OK but accepted that he fell out love for me. When the dust settled, my ex and I met up to get our respective closure. He wanted to stay friends but I still felt hurt at how he handled the break up. Said I can't promise anything but I will try but all and all we parted amicably..so I thought.

It's been almost 2 months since our break up and the only time we came in contact was via gtalk chat. He always tried to stay to the same tone as when we were still together. I mostly kept it civil. It was mostly him initiating the chats and I'd reply when ever I can. Recently it was his birthday and a friend of mine said that he was celebrating alone and she felt bad and asked him out for drinks (we share mutual friends). I felt sorry for him so I wished him happy birthday via text (my ever first move of contact). When the text went through, my ex was already with our friend and according to her when he read the message he got annoyed. He read it out loud to our friend and then after spewed out some nasty things to our friend which weren't true. Things like "i initiated the sex when I got to town after a 10 hours flight from Melbourne ( this was 2 days before the breakup, which I didn't.i was fast asleep when he made his move)" "i constantly attacked him when topic of religion came to play (he's an anti-theist & I'm agnostic) Thank god for my friend, she backed me up and put him in place when he exaggerated "his version on the relationship".

What I don't get now is, why is he mad at me? when he dumped me. He fell out of love. He left. He made me feel so used by sleeping with me days before we broke up when apparently he was done with the relationship. Why is he bad mouthing me? When I've done nothing to him. He didn't give me time to heal except for the time when he was away for two weeks after our break up. I don't understand where is all this animosity coming from.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's too immature to look to himself for the failure of the relationship, so he wants to shift the blame to you. The good news is that it makes the breakup a good idea on your part.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well if what you say is true and things were good, then he had no reason to leave you, and that's what people will be asking. He had to make up reasons for leaving so he won't look like a douche.

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    • His reasons as to why it didn't work he realized that he wasn't really attracted to me not enough to want me all the time but went ahead with the relationship because he liked me enough to try. He told our friend the way I told him I liked him was so high school (I texted him while he was next to me because I froze.)

    • It really sounds like he has an image he's trying maintain. You're better off without someone like that, and since your friends know the truth and take your side, I think you have nothing to worry about.

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