At first, I thought I might have some hope of reconciliation. I decided to give her a month of no contact. A month went by, and I called her and left a message. I haven't heard back from her. I found out later that she started seeing a friend of mine, six weeks after she broke up with me. I couldn't believe she had the emotional capacity, after a three year relationship, to move on with someone else. I realize now that she probably checked out of our relationship long before she pulled the plug. She definitely had me believing otherwise. Obviously. I feel like a fool. I've been hoping that this new relationship is just a rebound, and that it'll fail, but I hear they're having a really good time together. The hardest part is that she's been "flaunting" her new relationship on twitter and facebook. I know better than to stalk her status, and I've generally done a good job of staying away from it, but it doesn't take long to catch up if you slip up and look. I guess I just expected her to be a little more delicate. I thought she might have a little more regard to my feelings. I feel like she's punishing me for something, when all I've ever done was treat her like a princess. I deserve better than this. It hurts. Another stinger is the fact that he doesn't live in the same city that we do. He's off building the exact same career that I've always wanted to pursue, and the only reason I haven't pursued it, is because I chose to stay here, take a crappy job, and pursue her. Ouch. I now know that she probably would have had more respect for me, had I pursued something for myself. I imagine she might have admired that. Hind sight. This just sucks.
I don't really know what I want from her. I guess it would be nice to hear that our relationship actually meant something. I just feel used. Some validation would go a long way for my closure and healing process. I had a dream that she told me that she was with this other guy, but that I meant a lot to her. It was a huge relief. Then I woke up. I've been a total wreck. I've lost twenty pounds, my job is suffering, and I'm thinking of moving. I've even been seeing a therapist. It's quite ridiculous. It doesn't help that all of my friends are mutual, including her new guy. I can't stop thinking "what if they get married?" All of my friends will be at the wedding. It's embarassing. Humbling. I just wish I could make sense of it. I loved and love this girl with all my heart. How could she be so cold? I still wish I could open some kind of communication with her. I don't know what it would accomplish. I just miss her to death! We were best friends! And now nothing? What am I supposed to do with all this love?
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Wow...you have my total sympathy. I had something similar recently.
It sucks, but it's true she moved on well before she told you. I don't know how someone can do that, without showing ANY signs. Maybe we are just that oblivious...but I don't think so.
You put so much into the relationship, I'm sure...and it sucks that she moved on so easily.
My ex (who I work with and have to see every day) is sleeping with a LOT of guys, some in our department. And I get to hear her bragging about it.
I was also the "overly nice guy", treated her better than anyone, never wronged her or made her mad...but now she's torturing me by flaunting, and trying to turn everyone against me. No idea why.
The only thing I have been able to do to make it a small, tiny bit easier, is realize she is not the girl I fell in love with.
The girl I dated was nice, caring, funny, not promiscuous, and not insane. The girl she turned into is the exact opposite.
I fell for a lie. She is not the same person anymore. That is my own version of "closure". It sucks that this person still has the same voice and face, but inside they are no one I would ever date. If I knew the true person inside...i would have stayed far away.
We all fell for a lie. And we have to forgive ourselves for being deceived. That's one of the toughest things for me...trying to rationalize how I was ever attracted to her. Who is this girl right now?
Now, you have to realize it's over. She's not who you thought she was, and she doesn't deserve any of your heart. Don't move on right away, imo, even though she did. Save your love for a girl that comes along and deserves it.
(and I tortured myself the first few weeks by re-reading old cute txts, e-mails and letters she wrote me, saying how she couldn't live without me...some sent even the day before she dumped me...definitely don't do that...i don't know why I did)
wow, sad, I don't get why girls go nuts and change like this. maybe someone can fill me in on this one day. I might have some helps for you though. are you in America?