I just lost my fiance after we spent 8 Years together and even now she's treating me like I never meant a thing to her... And I didn't even do anything unforgivable... But why do you guys have to put on your hate mask? Is it because deep down your hurting as well and you don't want us to see it? Or is it because you think it will make us hurt? I need to know because it may save my life right now
Because deep down your truly hateful?
Is it because your hurting as well but don't want us to know it?
You're talking about 2 different things 1) stone cold 2) hate masks
Now, it's very normal when breaking up with someone to not want to 'deal with' their emotions afterwards. Typically the person who initiates the break up moves on faster and acts 'colder', mostly because they had already been struggling with the decision silently for months, years even.
Are they reaching out first, making it a point to bring you down? Or are You reaching out, expecting them to handle your feelings and say the right thing - and they just don't want to be burdened.
Sadly this is part of the break up process. The point is, while you may miss them or the relationship terribly, reaching out to them isn't going to make it better. Some people move on quickly, because they see it as a launch pad into their new life and they are excited about it.
Well im going to be real. 8 years and all i got was the " i need to work my own life and this over. I went broke doing everything for her she left me with an empty home that im still hooked on the lease. Just feels wrong after 8 faithful years of taking care of all her needs than she just treats me like a felicia... Your thoughts did make a lot of sense. Thank you!
To protect myself. The thinking behind it is, if I act as though everything's fine or doesn't bother me, then it doesn't. Which isn't true. I'm just pretending it doesn't bother me.
I was also in a position where the guy acted like nothing had happened. It is hurtful. You want to know you had some impact on someone you loved and being treated indifferently is painful. In your case after 8 years together a lot happened.
She could be hurting as well. Or not. I don't know. But that's why I have done it.
But please, don't stake your life on that (I don't know if you're exaggerating because it's an emotional time). You aren't doing yourself any favors. Try to think of ways of how to move forward - you choose which way - even if you don't really know the answer to the question.
My old lady was cynical as any human I ever met. She uses me for facade purposes and to impress her former boyfriends that she could catch a normal guy. After a few months she got bored. I had to file for divorce because she was no longer invested in the relationship at all.
After it was over it was like I didn’t exist. A means to an end. See ya sucker. … these broads are cold AF out here bro. They will use you up and spit you out with out a care in the world. You’re not a human being , but a what can you do for me being. A slave. A servant to the gynocracy.
You’re lucky she didn’t suck you dry, brother. My ex step mom literally killed off my dad and stole his money. Ran off with another dude and married in three months.
Count yourself lucky and be ready next time. These broads do not play around.
trust me they feel guilty af breaking up too. It's not easy for either party. Sometimes that guilt will eat away at them in a different way then them leaving you and you feeling hurt. my early relationships they were breaking up with me. later relationships i was breaking up with them. the conditions in which the reason for breaking up, that's a big one too. I had to go full on black heart to get through my traumas in life.
If she feels you hurt her or done her serious wrong, it's combination of both. Then she hates because you dared to hurt her. Did you hear of a phrase: "woman never forgets".
If you think you didn't do anything wrong, try asking her exactly why did she left - like you can invent you're intersted in some area of self improvement and it requires summing up what previous relationship were like and why. I kind of think she'd say you did something wrong and she just never wanted to discuss it. But it might be not, maybe she's just a mean person, what do I know about her...
This was some weeks ago and i. Never got the actual truth from. Mouth but i... im not stupid but i feel stupid. She was already dating a friend of mine and living with this kid like 3 weeks after she moved her stuff out. Im. Still. Trying to make sense of all this while she's already that far along? One doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure this one out
In your case, I don't think anyone just walks away from 8 years with no hurt or as if nothing happened. You both are dealing with a loss that may be akin to what you feel if someone actually died, because you're no longer a part of each others lives anymore. Just like with death, each partner grieves the relationship differently. Some stay busy and try to move forward and cut their losses publicly even though privately they may be suffering and some slowly and surely work through the break-up by emotionally detaching step by step until they are able to move on. You can't control how and what someone will do after a break-up and once it's over, for some it's truly over and they don't feel the need to drag it out.
She’s split with you for a reason. Did you ask what it was? Did she explain? She is entitled to act in any way she feels, if it’s helping her move on. It was 8 years. Of course it’s taking it’s toll on her too. It’s not about hate. It’s about doing what’s best for her to get through it. You should do the same.
In the near future you will probably be able to talk or discuss matters further, but for now, concentrate on you and your own feelings, instead of judging hers and assuming the reasons on how she behaving.
My opinion.. I believe usually when someone ignores this deep this much it means they are still hurting it’s their way to cope… so it’s not your fault at all. Also I know it’s hard you were with her for 8yrs together but just like you found her trust me you will find someone else too and probably realize wow she is the one.. you never know what beauty and love the other person can bring! So don’t be sad. It’s ok really. Take your life in this realm easy don’t be serious and worrying because tomorrow is unknown! Peace and hugs🥺💕
I personally would do this to protect myself. sometimes it hurts so much that you want the other person to understand how much they hurt us, and that whatever they did was wrong and unacceptable.
specially for me, I am extremely tough, I take nothing lightly. I am extremely military. maybe im wrong, maybe im right. I don't know, I hope I can develop as a person. im still young.
if you love her, give her some time, be patient, tell her how much you love her, say you're sorry, and change. give her flowers, a love letter, and the love she deserves.
look, sometimes, we do things to the people we love, thinking it is not something serious, but to them it is extremely hurtful. you're a man and for you sometimes it may not seem serious but to her it broke her world.
place yourself in her place.
please don't hurt yourself okay, try to make things work with her, if you don't get her back, you will be loved.
I did all that flowers and... just not the space but we talked today and im going to give her space and she asked if i would be mad of she got a boyfriend and i shut upbfor 33 seconds and said " i want you to do what makes you happy because that is what love is" and she left but i do feel hurt afyer 8 years of ultimate loyalty but i think what i did was right even though it hurt like hell
if you love her, fight for her, work as hard as you can, along with time she will give in, times makes us forgive and forget many things. well, I hope she forgives you, she most likely will, because as you said, you did not do anything unforgivable. be romantic, friendly, a gentleman. show fragility you know. if she does not, then you will be loved.
by the way you sound like you still not over her.. perhaps she is mean to you just to push you a way. It only hurts when you still have feelings for the person.
be patient and kind to yourself. it's not easy and it's full of ups and downs. we all have that one person who killed us deep down and had us think that life is tasteless, hopless, and meaningless.
lean on your friends or try making new ones. put the work in healing. Because it takes time. And in many times you'll feel lost and empty. But that's a journey that you have to take. Be patient kind to yourself that's how you'll make it at the end 🌹❤️
Please don't do anything drastic, dude. I understand how you're feeling right now, and what she's doing to you isn't right. If you need somebody to talk to, I'm here, man.
Hurt can make people act out of character. That is a long time to spend together to have it end. I would assume that anger equals just how much she loved you. When it falls apart the anger equals the love. Love and hate. Thin line.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
In my experience, when women break it off, they sort of flip a switch which unpersons you. They need to void these feelings fast and they’re adapted to do so. It’s how they manage to recover from a breakup ~12 times faster than guys do.
you seem unsure of why she broke up with you. maybe try to ask her and discuss things over the phone over the subject. To break up with someone without a good reason after 8 years, is ridiculous.
You’re hurting 8 years is a long time to invest with someone and then their gone. My issue I’m tired of investing with the wrong people it’s time wasted and energy gone !
She said that i cheated on her 7 years previous... I tod her thats definitely not true. She laughed at me. I just shook my fuckin head and cried myself to sleep. I was a good dude to her
It's an easier emotion to feel. If you block pain and make yourself numb then you won't have to face your heartbreaking. This applies if you don't want to breakup however know it is the best for both of you.
It's a defence mechanism, at least for me. If he dumped me, it's so humiliating and shameful, and I have to prove to him that I'm fine and it's his loss
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