Men are kind of binary. stage A. stage B. stage C... no in between.
The good part is that it send very clear signals.
We are invested in a relationship. Then out.
For me it's not about resentment or grief, but more protecting yourself, and strangely avoid hurting the other more.
The worst thing you can do after a breakup is being friendly again. It's like not shutting the door completely.
Letting the other have hope where there's no future is cruel.
Now I guess some men are angry and are cold because they have been hurt and want to return the favor. If you want to know if a guy is cold because he is angry, just ask him.
If he says yes with words or body language, you can 'talk' and try to fix things.
If he's peaceful and says no anger, have no hope. He moved to stage B.
I quoted talk because you need to listen more than anything. At this point it's not about a debate or argument. It's about letting him express his feelings and shut down your inner voice that wants to be right. Acknowledge.
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I don't know about all guys but I'm looking for a wife. When I date I'm trying to achieve that goal I'm seeing if we fit together is she honest dose dose she love God etc. If we break up it's because that goal can't be achieved and the reason I started talking to her disappears so I talk to her less... I still talk to all my ex's on rare occasion. They can still call me if their car breaks down... I guess if a guy was chasing after sex the case would be the same after the break up why talk to her if there's no potential for (wanted) sex.
To protect their feelings and emotions. It could be a defense mechanism.
Or they don't and end up like that joker on here who cried to his ex-girlfriend who broke up with him, being upset and angry at women when she coldly rejected him... lol.
Ice cold is smart. Keeps the breakup solid and makes you disregard any attempts to get back together !!
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Cuz a girl usually looks up to her man she looks at him for safety and protection to take care of her a guy wants to make his girl feel safe and protected and that he has her back , he loves her and cherished her , when she decides she doesn’t want to be with him anymore his ego is shattered he feels less of a man and hurting inside so he puts a wall up not to really show his emotions. So by being cold and angry is his defense from showing how he really feels especially if she left him for another guy , he will be really cold that
Because they let you in, you become the soft spot, when it’s gone they close themselves off because the trust was broken. Something women these days don’t understand is that men have feelings too. You can’t just break someone’s heart and think that nothing would be wrong.
I'll only speak for myself here:
I'm cold and moving away at a running after a breakup AND/OR rejection because I had 1 incredibly bad experience! To make it a short story;
I tried holding on. I tried to be hopeful and friendly that things would be better. I tried to make things better. Those were my mistakes.
I tried to be friends and it made the entire situation worse to the point she told me if I didn't stop talking to her, she'd call the cops. After that i felt devastated and had no one to talk to.
I truly believe it's better to deal with my issues/regrets/feelings alone than be in the presence of a loved one who makes me suffer.For the same reason they were not in your life before you guys first met. They are living their own life and when you two aren’t together you aren’t part of it. Men aren’t Pokémon. Just because they Poké Poké you, doesn’t mean you get to keep them in your bag for life and pull them out when it’s convenient. Stop objectifying men.
just for clarity, this is not gender related... women can go very cold too but also isn't that the point when you break up... go your separate ways and forget about each other... i know its not always the case but most times it is and its purely natural to do so
We go to our "nothing" box, or we cannot process our emotions, we just disconnect emotionally... if we were ever connected at all. For us... some portion of us like me... It's like you strike a gong... and there is a muffled sound like a thud... that's the feelings.
takes time to get feelings back in order.What makes you think that? They hurt too, but it may not be as noticeable. People get this idea that guys lack emotional reaction after a break up but I disagree. Their feelings may not be obvious in their appearance but, just like any human and any gender, they hurt. Everyone processes their pain differently.
Not all guys are like this but I think most are. Kudos to people that can be friends after a break-up, that's either very mature or could be a sign they may want you back.
For most guys though, any kind of contact with the ex is hurting them and not helping to move forward.Women go cold, too.
And it's probably an ego/self protection thing. To reestablish the sense of self, a split is reinforced to fully distance yourself from that person. If you invest too much of yourself in something that isn't interested, then you're essentially losing a part of yourself in that thing. If that makes sense, which it probably doesn't.Here is my opinion. Most of us men have truly loved our partners during the relationships and were destroyed when it ended. For most of us it takes a part of us with it. We are "cold" due to the fact we're not whole. We need to fix ourselves in order to be function properly.
Men are just generally cold period from my limited experience.
I don’t think guys go cold. I think they move on. You can’t expect a guy to treat you the way he did before a breakup.
Going cold means being distant, closed off or out of touch right? That’s him moving on from the girl. It doesn’t make him a bad person. I think it’s mature.My ex was quick to Throw Out, Distract, Fill Voids and Fill Other Things :/ , Take Pics Down, Damage, Forget or try, Hurtful and Hateful Words, PUSHED ME and Pushed Me Emotionally Away... I kept holding and held heart through sooo damn much... deeply she loves, but her heart and mind can't process properly , So Its COLD Treating :/
Because girls love to keep you around, tease and string you along after a break up until they find someone else, OR just to watch you suffer. If we broke up then you need to fuck off. Also many girls LOVE to have ex's as friends so they can get attention, quick sex and dates whenever theyre in a rut. Grow UP.
You only grow cold if you have been wronged or if you have been callously mistreated. A simple break up is not gonna turn you cold. In other words, “ growing cold” is the result of getting together for the wrong reasons. Chances are they were impulsive and rushed into the relationship due to lust or they knew that their partners are not good people but they still didn’t care
Matter of opinion... I've got to have a better description of what cold means. More often than not I see the dude side of things struggling with any sort of grief from the loss, while I watch the females trist it out and flaunt like they planned it.
When a guy falls in love but not in physical attraction he single minded focused on her , most of the time it's unconsciously , when that breaks they are wounded and it's permanent.
They close their heart not to go through that again by what ever the case. They are more cautious and more on guard. Which in your term
Being cold.Also anotehr question inside the question could be why men get distant and cold after they have sex? After they have sex with a lady who he was very attracted to and struggle so much to finally have sex ith her for years, cause the lady stall the guy for that for years (when they first met they did not have sex and everything was fine between them) . Once the sex happened the guy changedbecame distant and ghosted the lady he knew for years.
I have had 3 deep personal relationships & they had all crashed & burned so this is my reason why. I had spent a good amount of emotional energy in each of them & they were all emotionally devastating to me. So a recovery time is needed to regroup & see if I ever wanted a new investment of that kind of capital.
The current one I am in. She can go or stay. I really don't care so much anymore.You broke up, there's nothing left to discuss. Time to get your shit and get out and move on.
Why would you expect them to be warm and fuzzy if you break up?
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