Why would an ex ignore me when I ask for my stuff back (And whats going on through their mind)?

[Galen44]

So 3 months ago my ex broke up with me and she said she was going through her childhood problem of self hatred and other personal issues and doesn't want to be in any relationship but still wanted to be friends, I pleaded with her but I later respected her decision, we hung out multiple times as friends but she started bread crumbing me like asking me to carry her or she got very touchy, I was confused and emotionally frustrated so we had a fight. She told me we shouldn't talk or see each other and I agreed without pleading. I asked when she's gonna send me back my things and she said she'll get our only a friend to give it to me.

1 month in no contact she texted me that she's dating someone new and that she is happy, I called her (I wish I didn't) and I told her I was happy for her and I was somewhat happy that we broke up because I was able to work on myself and became mentally better such as worked on my own insecurities and learned how to forgive and let go, she sounded surprised and upset, I ended the conversation short because deep down inside I was feeling a lot of stress and didn't want her to know how emotional I was. I made a mistake of stalking her Instagram but there was no trace of her new partner even a month after telling me about it

I restarted no contact again after 1 month, I texted my ex if she's available to pass my things, 2 days later no reply. I then texted her to mail it to my address, no reply. I asked our mutual friend to call her to confirm it, she said my ex will mail it.

1 weeks later I figured I hurt her feelings acting like she doesn't matter so I sent her a text saying the relationship meant a lot to me and I hope we can be friends, She liked the text but no reply, I felt even more lost so I sent her a text saying if she doesn't want me in her life anymore I'm completely okay with it and I'll feel no resentment, she still ignored my text. I want to know what's on her mind and why she's doing this?

Updates

+1 y

So far its been 10 days since I asked for my belongings back and I searched up shipping within the city to be 2-3 business days. It lead me thinking if she's either stalling or gave it away

Updates

+1 y

Today I sent her a text for the hoodie and if she lost it she will send money. She texted back immediately saying shut up and that she will send my hoodie when she finds time. So success to me, hope everyone should know :)

[jgokgotit]

If it is stuff you can replace and do not need, just let her have it and be done. The only option you have to forcefully get it back is to get law enforcement involved, but you have to know EXACTLY what the item (s) look like, EXACTLY where in the house they are and have proof the stuff is yours AND that you bought it. If you cannot prove all of that then the stuff stays put where it is unless she agrees to give it back. Unless there is 100% proof of ownership, law enforcement treats the property as belonging to whoever's residence the items are at. I had one of my military uniforms at my exes place. She dropped the ball on me and broke up with me and I had a gear inspection the next day. I told my chain of command the situation. My NCO, the police and I met at my exes place to get my uniforms. Even though the uniforms clearly had my name on it, I had no clue where in the apartment my ex had them and she refused us entry. The police said they needed a warrant to search her house, and to get that I'd have to file charges against her AND prove the uniforms were there. Luckily my NCO pulled a sneaky trick by lying and saying the military would investigate her if she did not turn them over when the officers were not looking (blatant lie as military has no power over civilians) and she fell for it. Had the bluff not worked, I'd be shit out of luck.

[Galen44]

Its a very expensive hoodie so I really do need it back, I'll get the police involved if it really means to be.

[jgokgotit]

I wish you luck

[Mehzmeh]

First and foremost. She is stringing you along. Second, unless it was valuable stuff like electronics, or jewelry that belongs to you. I would forget about it. Because if it's clothes or personal hygiene stuff. You will never see them again. She has either thrown them in the trash. Or they belong to her and is apart of her life. Or she gave them away. That's the honest truth. Because if she is stringing you along like that. That's what she is doing. Sorry.

[Galen44]

It was a $400 designer hoodie, she knows it has sentimental value also. I had thoughts yet I can't say for certain, but I'll keep your advice in mind :)

[Mehzmeh]

Oh damn. I have had experience in that area. Why I never leave anything. I and I never stay over. And they never borrow anything unless I, am washing it as soon as they take it off. Lol

[Galen44]

Well looks like I learned my lesson about leaving things with my partner, at least pain is a good teacher haha

[Mehzmeh]

Truth. Lol

[DCooper]

Wait, you spent $400 on a freaking sweatshirt? Is it made of the mythical golden fleece or some shit?

[Galen44]

@DCooper Haha I wish, but I was young and dumb when I bought it lol

[devilish-cutie]

Im so sorry this has happened to you. You dont deserve to be treated like this and dont qllow it. You did nothing wrong. She ks the one being very disrespwctful to you and your feelings and being dishonest. Just go to her for your stuff and move on. You deaerve someone better, who wi be decent enough to replay to your message.

[Daniela1982]

I can see you are holding on when you should be letting go just as she is trying to do. You need to move on and stop looking back or you will walk into a post.

[DiscomfortZone]

1) The excuses she gave you for breaking up with you are bullshit. When somebody actually cares for you - they don't push you away, even if they are just using you as a weapon to self-destruct.

2) Jn legal terms, she stole from you. She's in possession of YOUR belongings and she's denying you access to them. It's time to get the police involved. Do NOT let her get away with this!!!

[Galen44]

It really looks like its time to get the police involved

[slatyb]

How valuable is It? If you can afford to replace it then forget about it.

[Galen44]

It's a $400 designer hoodie so It's something that I have to chase after

[slatyb]

Sorry it's probably a loss. You can send a nice letter along her to give it to some mutual acquaintance.

[1CentWorth]

she's with another guy but wants the option to get back with you. she doesn't want the two of you to know eachother.

[DStover91]

Cause they still love you and are hoping for you to not have to take your stuff back

[Galen44]

I wish but she told me she's in a new relationship and told me to move on, her actions don't seem to match her words

[Anonymous]

I guess she wants u back and she’s upset bc whenever u say something you push her away more. Why dont u meet her

[Galen44]

I hope she wants me back, but I have many doubts about it. I tried texting her to meet up and used my my things she has as an excuse but alas, no reply :(

[Opinion Owner]

Because she knows u will get ur stuff and get the fuck out of her life which something she doesn’t want, Maybe thats why she’s stalling. Try to say something else

[Galen44]

I never really thought about it like that, I'll try another approach. I just have to figure out how and when

[Daniela1982]

Don't you read your replies? I told you what to do. I mean if you both are at odds - playing games in a sense - what have you to gain by this constant making yourself feel bad baloney. Both of you need to stop playing dard ass and get on the same page. If you can't then move on. You are going to waste 10 years with this Tom Foolery and be no closer than you were when you started.
Don't waste your time giving someone a 2nd or 3rd chance when there is someone better for you out there waiting for their first.

[Galen44]

@Daniela1982 I just logged in right now, but you're right, my emotions are clouding my judgement and any little chances of hope sets me back from moving on.

[007kingifrit]

be more forceful and clear that she needs to send your things back

[Galen44]

So far she's been ignoring me so It looks like I have to get the police involved

[Iron_Man]

You can never understand what is going on in the woman’s mind but her actions alarm prove to you what it’s all about

[In_Trance]

What's so important that you need back? Just move on

[MrScorpioT]

Bro women are like hurricanes. When they come they're wet and wild but when they leave, they take yo stuff and maybe, just maybe you'll get it or find it later on.

[19vetteman91]

She probably sold items or gave them away