What Would Be Worse: Getting A "Dear John" Letter From Your Partner Or Finding Out They've Been Cheating On You And Lying To You?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

A Dear John letter is a letter written to a man by his wife or romantic partner to inform him that their relationship is over, usually because she has found another lover.
I think you all know what "cheating" is..And me personally, I rather the letter, cuz least they honest with it, as much as it may hurt, hurts easy more to lay Up with a liar, give that intimate part of yourself to someone undeserving of that part of you...#don'tgiveituptojustanyone

Dear John Letter

Cheating

"Girl let me tell you...(left comment below)

[TonyMetal___86]

None because they both hurt but i appreciate honesty even though it still hurts...

Ever heard about committment? I'm someone who respects my committments, i rather keep trying instead of just leaving and finding someone else...

Especially if i was married, cause i believe that marriage is sacred!

When someone is married, the relationship becomes more than just love, it's getting used to that someone...

I know myself and i wish to find someone like me even though i know that these days it's very hard but we should never lose hope 🙂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree, but sadly that's a rarity these days

[TonyMetal___86]

True miss brains but nothing is impossible, unless miss brains is only a dream 🤨

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

More like a nightmare 😱🤣

[TonyMetal___86]

You ain't a nightmare miss brains, except on Christmas eve cause you get very naughty when you see the lights of the Christmas tree 🤣

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lolol

[TonyMetal___86]

Thanks for the mho miss brains 😊

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Welcome😊🧁

[TonyMetal___86]

😛🧁🧁🧁

[coachTanthony]

Both are cowardly acts. Cheating though could be way more damaging especially if you catch them in the act. That Trauma can be horrific.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree and I agree again

[Cynicaldreamer]

So I've been on both ends: I've received a "Dear Jane" letter from a guy I liked, and been cheated on.

First off, both are traumatic and made me feel like crap. But for me, the letter was worse than being cheated on.

Imagine things are going well, you think he's happy with you, only to get a letter, or text in my case, saying he can't be with me anymore due to some BS reason 🤬

The rage was REAL.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Aww, sorry.. You deserve so much better!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Meh, it's okay. He was a waste of time and energy. I'm realizing as I get older, I do deserve better

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Of course you do 💛🤗

[CrazyGirl2]

Much rather get the letter! Don’t get me wrong, it’s a chicken-shit thing to do, but at least it’s honest and relatively honorable. There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating! It’s cowardly, dishonest, and most of all disrespectful!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!

[CrazyGirl2]

YAY! You are so sweet 🥲

[Unit1]

Whatever.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you really loved the person, it's not as easy as that but okay 🤷🏼‍♀️ lol

[Unit1]

I'm the money monster you know.
I sold my soul to mammon. To money. To wealth. Corrupted? In some ways perhaps.
It ain't easy, I know. I had my heart broken before. But I recovered. When she left, my money was there. Right in my bank account.
But I also had a good friend available. I wouldn't sell him out for no amount of money.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍I still think you're "savable"LOL

[Unit1]

Yes. With the right amount of money almost anything can be saved :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Okay never mind, maybe not lolol

[msc545]

I think I'd rather get the Dear John Letter and face it head-on that way and have to find out they've been doing it behind my back. That said however when you get that Dear John Letter you have to wonder if they've been doing it behind your back prior to sending the letter for some period of time.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Good point, and usually that is the case more times than not

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well in both cases they have cheated on you. You don't find another lover and dump your current one in the same day. However I'd rather the bandaid be ripped off quickly then drag it out so the dear john letter would be preferable (or them having the guts to speak to me in person instead of running away like a coward).

[HawkPerception]

A Dear John letter would definitely hurt more because

1. It shows they have fully moved on to the point they don't care about your relationship anymore
2. It shows they had a little bit of class to let you know rather than keep cheating behind your back
3. You can't leave them, because they already have that edge on you, preventing you from getting that much needed cathartic closure

[Lliam]

I agree with your view on this, bbb. I'd much prefer that the person be up front, even if it's in the form of a letter. Face to face would be preferable, though.
Being cuckolded, on the other hand, is despicable.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right!!

[exitseven]

I would rather have the letter it would be way better than having her go to someplace where she knew I would be there and bring her new boyfriend with her and get all comfy with him while glancing at me to see that I was watching, then never contacting me again.

[loveslongnails]

A letter would be worse for me, because that means she didn't have the guts to say it to my face. Who's she cheating with - a guy or a girl? I wouldn't care if it was a girl and she didn't want to dump me for her. LOL :-D

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Isn't cheating, still cheating tho regardless of the gender they cheating with? Cuz to me it's not just the sex they had with someone else it's the lies they tell to do so and broken trust.

[loveslongnails]

It was a comedic attempt. LOL It's difficult for me to imagine these scenarios because of the openness I've had in relationships.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Ah okay

[JakeS00]

Any form of cheating is inexcusable and needs to be explicitly explained. Just like when I caught my ex, (very different circumstance, but still cheating is not right).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree 💯

[cheapshotbob]

a dear john letter and see the guy she s with at my birthday party , XD life deals evil combos like that lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sad but true

[karaspara]

Tough one but I’ve gone with cheating as it’s been going on over a period of time and all the deceit is just awful I think a dear John is a cowards way out like dumping someone by text

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh I agree... But I still rather that than someone playing you for a full, lying and cheating, and still having sex with you..
And As cowardly bad, hurtful a Dear John Letter would be, worse to get an STD if someone fucking a bunch of other people with no condom (which they usually do) and you think they're safe cuz you think you the only one they having sex with

[karaspara]

Definitely I agree cheating is much worse

[lucas262]

I'd forgive letter, at least she fessed up and we could cut it off clean


They lie to me there won't be any of thay simpy take them back nonsense. They're ded to me.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right!

[Massageman]

in my opinion, these really seem to be just two variants of the same basic lack of relational trust and how one party chooses to deal with it.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

True true

[PaynefulPleasures]

A letter they didn't have the balls to say it to your face their, lying , cheating , conniving, cowards!!

[Jjpayne]

I'd say the dear john, at least they might be willing to restore the relationship after cheating instead of leaving you completely

[douride2]

in my opinion it would be way worse to find out a partner has been cheating on you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right!

[Wiredone]

I guess I'd rather get the letter because if I saw another guy with my wife is probably kill him

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍👍

[Tunasub]

I would rather get a letter... at least she had a tiny bit of balls to let me know...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right!!

[Justme480]

Well I've gone through it twice doesn't feel any better the 2nd time. One was a letter and the other I walked into it.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'm sorry to hear that! I fucking hate lying cheaters.. They're so selfish and have no regard for anyone but themselves

[Alexalex92]

Oh god, both are bad... I prefer her to tell me in front of me that she's cheating and want to end relationship

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well, same.. But most people who cheat also lie about it

[Alexalex92]

Yeah that's bad

[JosyJosy]

The letter would anger me more, too much of a coward to say it to my face

[Avicenna]

Catching a cheater is definitely worse

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right! Cuz you don't know what else you might catch if their nasty ass wasn't using condoms

[Avicenna]

Yup, and they probably don't too often

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Doubt it

[MsTrish02]

I say both deer John letter tell you’ve been cheating.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It would be bad if I found out she was cheating?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍

[Ripper_E]

Both of those sound equally bad to me

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yes they do but reality for too many people

[Ripper_E]

I feel like most people pick the cheating as worse, but the Dear Johh letter could feel far worse, knowing the love of your life is leaving you for someone else, and you could argue they also cheated, depending on how you define cheating. They could cheat and lie, but you both move past it. There is no moving past them straight up leaving you for someone else. Both are painful though.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Good points

[Anonymous]

I'd rather find out she's been cheating, quite like the idea of being a cuckold tbh,

[collie22]

Cheating hurts way more

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I would think so

[jerdanro]

Either way, some guy is about to get hurt.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Guy or Gal... Cheating, shitty people don't just come in one gender, unfortunately they come in both

[jerdanro]

True, but I'm not going to hit a girl.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh that's not the way I thought you meant... Now I get it duh lol excuse the blonde moment lololol

[jerdanro]

No worroes. You interpretation was also correct. No one wins in that situation.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!! Either way you get hurt.. And both the actions of a coward but at least with a letter you'd finally know versus them continuing the lies/deceit

[jerdanro]

Agreed.

[jerdanro]

I guess that's the silver lining to being alone.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But not everyone's like that.. My second hubby wasn't...

[jerdanro]

I agree.

[krin_m]

The "Dear Jihn" letter is at least honest!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's my thinking

[MrCreep]

Ye but would I know or not know

[Kelly6]

Finding letter