None because they both hurt but i appreciate honesty even though it still hurts...
Ever heard about committment? I'm someone who respects my committments, i rather keep trying instead of just leaving and finding someone else...
Especially if i was married, cause i believe that marriage is sacred!
When someone is married, the relationship becomes more than just love, it's getting used to that someone...
I know myself and i wish to find someone like me even though i know that these days it's very hard but we should never lose hope 🙂
Both are cowardly acts. Cheating though could be way more damaging especially if you catch them in the act. That Trauma can be horrific.
So I've been on both ends: I've received a "Dear Jane" letter from a guy I liked, and been cheated on.
First off, both are traumatic and made me feel like crap. But for me, the letter was worse than being cheated on.
Imagine things are going well, you think he's happy with you, only to get a letter, or text in my case, saying he can't be with me anymore due to some BS reason 🤬
The rage was REAL.
Much rather get the letter! Don’t get me wrong, it’s a chicken-shit thing to do, but at least it’s honest and relatively honorable. There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating! It’s cowardly, dishonest, and most of all disrespectful!
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Whatever.
Well in both cases they have cheated on you. You don't find another lover and dump your current one in the same day. However I'd rather the bandaid be ripped off quickly then drag it out so the dear john letter would be preferable (or them having the guts to speak to me in person instead of running away like a coward).
I agree with your view on this, bbb. I'd much prefer that the person be up front, even if it's in the form of a letter. Face to face would be preferable, though.
Being cuckolded, on the other hand, is despicable.
I think I'd rather get the Dear John Letter and face it head-on that way and have to find out they've been doing it behind my back. That said however when you get that Dear John Letter you have to wonder if they've been doing it behind your back prior to sending the letter for some period of time.
I would rather have the letter it would be way better than having her go to someplace where she knew I would be there and bring her new boyfriend with her and get all comfy with him while glancing at me to see that I was watching, then never contacting me again.
A Dear John letter would definitely hurt more because
1. It shows they have fully moved on to the point they don't care about your relationship anymore
2. It shows they had a little bit of class to let you know rather than keep cheating behind your back
3. You can't leave them, because they already have that edge on you, preventing you from getting that much needed cathartic closure
Any form of cheating is inexcusable and needs to be explicitly explained. Just like when I caught my ex, (very different circumstance, but still cheating is not right).
a dear john letter and see the guy she s with at my birthday party , XD life deals evil combos like that lol
A letter would be worse for me, because that means she didn't have the guts to say it to my face. Who's she cheating with - a guy or a girl? I wouldn't care if it was a girl and she didn't want to dump me for her. LOL :-D
Tough one but I’ve gone with cheating as it’s been going on over a period of time and all the deceit is just awful I think a dear John is a cowards way out like dumping someone by text
I'd forgive letter, at least she fessed up and we could cut it off clean
They lie to me there won't be any of thay simpy take them back nonsense. They're ded to me.
in my opinion, these really seem to be just two variants of the same basic lack of relational trust and how one party chooses to deal with it.
A letter they didn't have the balls to say it to your face their, lying , cheating , conniving, cowards!!
I'd say the dear john, at least they might be willing to restore the relationship after cheating instead of leaving you completely
in my opinion it would be way worse to find out a partner has been cheating on you.
I guess I'd rather get the letter because if I saw another guy with my wife is probably kill him
I would rather get a letter... at least she had a tiny bit of balls to let me know...
Well I've gone through it twice doesn't feel any better the 2nd time. One was a letter and the other I walked into it.
Oh god, both are bad... I prefer her to tell me in front of me that she's cheating and want to end relationship
The letter would anger me more, too much of a coward to say it to my face
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