Girls, but also guys, how do you get over people you dated?

Question

I'm usually a pretty self-reliant person, but I'm going through this break-up that I'm struggling to cope with. It's taking my attention away from my job, my interests and even my health as I don't feel energetic enough to woke up and I handle stress by smoking (which I usually don't). Any advice on how to switch mindset or what things to do to stop self sabotaging would be appreciated

teachsex2girls · Accepted Answer

I've been married 3times and walked away from all , I even left everything my property, and all personal things, always started again from scratch, but always ok and worth it, but I was very hurt as all cheated everyone else knew but me even worked with a few who I thought were friends, I was lead singer in quite a famous band and had singles in charts, I also gave my heart away to girls, arriving home late as I drove 4 hours put key in door, the living light still on , I quietly tip toe in as didn't want to wake my wife up, I hard sound like someone being spanked, and party, so opened door my wife naked, her brother , and two old guys filming and both spanking her Denise moaning shouting harder don't stop and bouncing on her brother incest and one older guy I recognize as her best friends father, other owner of local hotel, I tiptoed out got in car never looked back, went to other town, also managed to receive pics and films I sent pics of her bother fucking loudly to her mum teacher in school and dad top police chief, and her group fucked, her parents were my witnesses in divorce

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

well it looks like you have to re-evaluate your immediate, mid and long term life goals. cause that is what gets shaken up or straight up thrown out the window by a breakup as the templates for how your every day life looks like have to be replaced.

having no clarity with that makes us struggle with everything, cause we need a certain clarity and structure to get a sense of coherent purpose in our life.

also meditation helps direct your attention inwards. we're generally so focused on the outward world. specially in a relationship and even if we're a self-reliant person, cause nobody is 100% independend from the peole around them. and when that breaks away, we don't know what to orient ourselfs with. meditation helps you to become more rooted in yourself again and see what is most important in your life right now.

going through breakup sucks so you should really grant yourself some time to feel bad about it. maybe use that time positively to think about what you can learn for the future from the time you had together.

bluegrass89 · Accepted Answer

Give yourself a night to cry out loud as much as you want.
"Listen" while you cry , tell yourself that would be the last time to cry for someone who barely care about you.
Tell yourself to move on.
Tell yourself that you won't this weak again, instead to grow stronger day by day.
Tell yourself to learn or study new things.
Tell yourself to be that you deserve something better and meaningful and last long.
Tell yourself, that one day, you will find the right one, and be together for the right reason and right time.
Tell yourself, that you are NOT ALONE.

BakedBeanieBabie · Accepted Answer

I have attachment issues. Not the type where I cling to a person but the opposite. If someone hurts me or if I feel the need to leave them, I can just separate and completely shut myself down emotionally to avoid the heartbreak.

Obviously it hits me later and in other ways, but overall I move on quickly. Not saying its healthy.

Slartybartfast · Answer

I tried to date after my divorce, it's hard enough as a guy having to be confidant, upbeat and optimistic and take all the risks and costs initiating a relationship when your still recovering from a relationship it's nearly impossible.

Online dating was a huge and extremely expensive waste of time, like a second job you have to pay to go to. It was never any fun and left me feeling sad and used.

Instead I decided to work on myself, stupidly I thought if I got into great shape, dressed better made more money , etc it would be easier.

What in found is that I abhorre the dating process.

crazy8000 · Answer

Try to do a common NLP technique to reprogram yourself.

It's a 4 stage process there you ask yourself 4 similar questions that will make your mind reevaluate perspective on what you use it on. usually happen after last question.

Emotions in itself lives in a timeless environment in our minds that must be influenced to change state and value.

spuitkaas · Answer

Okay so for me it works to think of all the negative and annoying things about that person. I tend to romanticize people and this keeps me grounded.
Second, working on myself. Working out or getting further in academics or making new friends, start a hobby. Takes your mind of stuff.
Third, date new people. Find out that there are many fun and sweet people in this world.

SphynxUK · Answer

Just give yourself time.
You’re still wearing those rose tinted glasses. Things will become clearer and you’ll see it/he wasn’t as perfect as you thought.
Like you, I’m a stress smoker. And while it’s gross, it can help in the short term, although I’m not advocating it.
Do what you need to do.
It gets easier and you become stronger. Fact.

CaptainRonnie · Answer

TIME is the only thing unfortunately. You'll find tons of strategies and quotes and shit online, but in the end I think it's only time

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

First off,

1) I playback in my head every wonderful moment we shared.
2) I work out what exactly caused us to break up.
3) I contact her and ask her if there is anything I can do to fix it or that will make her to come back to me
4) If 3 doesn't work I treat her as dead to me
5) I look for somebody better.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Talk to a Doctor about depression. Put them in your past and get on with your life. Do the things you enjoy, even if you are not currently enjoying them.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Turn off your sound and vibrate and put your phone in your pocket. Dont look at it unless your in danger or when you return home go for a walk in some nature trail with your dog.

exitseven · Answer

It will take time but it will get better over time. I don't know how much time it will take, everyone is different.

cookroach · Answer

Time lets you even forget yourself but you just have to change your routine. ~CockRouch~

jerdanro · Answer

Walk through the pain. If you don't confront your pain it will never go away. That said, I am a world champion at suppressing sadness and pain.

have_a_good_day · Answer

Have you tried turning yourself off and then on again?

Nazorella · Answer

I really can’t get over it but that’s life and you need to accept everything and sometimes you need to let it go.

RACSKC0B · Answer

I've always found the best way to get over an ex, I'd to Gerry under someone new.

Wiredone · Answer

Break ups affect people differently. Some get over it quickly and move on. Others take longer to heal. You just have to keep yourself occupied and your mind off your ex.

Anonymous · Answer

Finding someone else can help a lot. masturbate the feelings away and time will eventually loosen their grip on your mind

baretone · Answer

Get back on the horse, never give up till you find them...

Narcotics · Answer

You don't, you just a hug a pillow and think it's them untill you get bored and you go looking for another pillow.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

You find someone better You'll always remember your ex's, no doubt but, in order to get over them, you HAVE to move on, and find SOMEONE BETTER

haooy · Answer

By getting a better girl. Lol You never get over, you just learn to forget. Lol

Anonymous · Answer

For real people be getting on my nerves I just know I can't go back in the past to change what already happen. I would just spend time alone and get my own peace. Since people love drama.

Ragnaroockk · Answer

you don't they are always little tiny pieces of your soul... they just fade away more and more in time.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Copious amounts of alchohol

DaveToo · Answer

You put the past in the past and move on.

jimmy2 · Answer

Well dating not that indebted to that how

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I don't get over them

Shihab91 · Answer

keep yourself busy

Anonymous · Answer

Stop dwelling on the past.

Homer79 · Answer

Block go no contact.

Iron_Man · Answer

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Girls, but also guys, how do you get over people you dated?

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