If your wife divorced you would you be vindictive?

[OlderAndWiser]

When she said she didn't want to be married to me anymore, I was devastated. She then vacillated on that decision for the next seven months. During that time, I accepted the fact that if she did not want to be with me - if she did not really love me - I didn't want her to pretend that she loved me and I did not want to force or coerce her to remain with me. I want a partner who WANTS to be with me as much as I want to be with her. And if my wife is not that person then the best thing for both of us is to divorce and move on with our lives.

So I was not vindictive, but I also did not remain "friends" with her. Maintaining contact with her slows down the process of me moving forward and when I finally did meet someone, how would I explain why I continued to see my ex-wife? It would only make them think that I had not resolved that relationship and that I was not really to move forward. I have spoken to my ex-wife once in the six years since the divorce and then only because of a peculiar business matter that arose which required some discussion with her.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I did laugh at that photo, but I'm not a vindictive person. I believe a woman is with me because she wants to be. The second she doesn't I will casually hold the door open for her, close it behind her, than go and be with someone else.

[YOLOIFIC]

It would depend on the circumstances, no two scenarios would be exactly the same. Now would I go as far as the meme suggests and commit crimes out of vindictiveness. I surly hope not, that would be very counterproductive and irrational. Granted people are rarely rational beings.


Might try and use the law to screw her over in court but I too hope that wouldn’t be the case. Again can’t say because you don’t know why the divorce is happening. Did we grow apart over time and it’s mutual? Did I catch her being unfaithful? Did they harm our kids? I mean so many things happen that is impossible to say how you’d react. On top of the fact you can’t really say how you’d react till your in the situation. Even if someone had been divorced before you can say with certainty. Past behavior can indicate how you might react but it’s not a guarantee.


That said I’ll end with an amusing anecdote:

I always joke with my wife if either of us want to leave we should just go to the backyard with whatever weapon we choose and whomever comes back gets everything.


It’s facetious obviously but it’s based in a truism that divorce is ridiculous complicated and even more ridiculous expensive. Kinda crazy that you can get married for almost nothing (presuming you don’t follow the absurd modern tradition of having an insanely expensive ceremony and reception) but divorce costs a fortune. It’s like a trap, make it cheap to get in and expensive to get out LOL

[Sevenpointfive]

i think that around 10 years with someone i would become friends in the least and could avoid a messy break up.

i really haven't had a relationship over 3 months so i can't say. i've had some go well and some not so much.

when 2 people realize they don't belong together it ends up well, but i'm sure it sucks if you've had a kid

[Slartybartfast]

No, although she ruined my life (I probably should have just ended it all when she left and often regret not doing so) I honestly wish her well.

I mostly just stuck around because I couldn't hurt my mom that way, it would be selfish of me.

[hahahmm]

Let's just say that sometimes a wife thinks a prenup is to protect the guy when actually it's to protect her.

[AdithyaR]

I wouldn't be bitter. I'd just be cold, throw away all feelings I had for them and forget that they existed. And then move on without a care about them.

[SufiLux]

You loved and married her for some reason. People change. you shouldn't. vindictive is negativity. best let that go and remember her for the good reasons.

[Jackblue]

Considering the fact that a lot of men (and to be fair sometimes women if their husbands are deadbeats) end up in serfdom until their spouse remarries if they do at all. Pay alimony or go to jail, that is a case of medieval serfdom in the modern world.

[Likes2drive]

I still stayed friends with her even though she got remarried right away we still made sure our children were our priority

[nawtee_me]

Nope, my ex-wife and I are still good friends. We raised our kids together even though we were apart. We talked and parented as if we were still together. Now the kids are grown and she has remarried and we are still friends.

[ohshee]

It was probably been cheaper to send it first class

[Anonymous]

If it's a no-fault divorce and we go our separate ways I have no issue. But don't take me to court and try to act like my friend. The second your greedy paws are on my stash in this day and age, you're the enemy.

[andreasderjuengere]

I -back then- responded the way I was treated myself.

We COULD have stayed friends, though :)

[AydenHazor]

Seeing as I wasn't when she did, I can safely say no

[Iron_Man]

I won’t pay her alimony that’s for sure. And I will cut her out of my will instantly

[red_knight]

I'm not a vindictive person. I may harbour resentment and a lot of dislike

[Pogi-Paddy-2]

I don't believe in divorce, ironic from a guy who has never been married.

[Surely]

Hopefully it be on friendly terms. But no need to stay in touch with no children.

[KrakenAttackin]

A man cannot be vindictive. If he is vindictive he will end up a) in jail, b) have to pay for whatever damages there may be, c) will be barred from seeing his children.

Men have no resource in divorce.

[monkeynutts]

Maybe. When you are angry you can do things out of character, maybe destructive.

[Anonymous]

Yes if they wish to take my stuff and enslave me for their gain i would destroy everything so they couldn't have it.

[Qdbrown]

I wouldn't, but my hired goons might.

[TallAnon]

Depends how and why it all went down.

[888theGreat]

Depends on situation. If she cheated , maybe.

[dudeinohio]

My ex-wife and I get along great.