He didn't fight when I broke up with him?

[Anonymous]

So, I broke up with my boyfriend because I want kids, and he doesn't, and even after two years, he won't change his mind, so I calmly broke up with him, explaining that children were important to me, and he basically just shrugged his shoulders and said "okay, I can respect that" and told me he would drop off my stuff when he had a chance, and wished me well.

He didn't fight for us, just accepted it, does that mean he didn't really love me? He didn't even seem that sad, I feel so confused, maybe I made a mistake? I had hoped he would realise how important children were and would change his mind to try and keep me.

[Anonymous]

If he fought for you, then you most likely would’ve stayed and it would only prolong the inevitable end. I know you love him, and I’m sure he loves you but what would have been the point in remaining in the relationship? You shouldn’t have to sacrifice wanting to be a mother one day, and you can’t stay in that situation based off the hope that he would one day change his mind. I know the breakup sucks and I’m sure you’re going through it rn, but it needed to happen and you know that him fighting for you would’ve only made things harder. There was no other way.

[HayleyMarie]

I’m sure he does love you. He may just be respectful of your point of view and the fact that the two of your clearly have very different ideas of what you want your future to look like. The decision to have kids or not isn’t something one can compromise on-that’s a pretty big deal breaker.
Also consider that he could be trying to hide his feelings. Some people aren’t great at showing emotions or being open and vulnerable. Perhaps he is that way?
In a way this makes it easier for you. You had to make a decision that would impact your future, and him fighting would make it harder to walk away.

[nawtee_me]

Oh what tangled webs we weave when at first we start to deceive. You were being honest with him but your intentions were to change his mind instead of just talking to him. You put him in a no win situation in order to change his mind. He decided to just give up instead of fighting a no win battle.
I appreciate what you did and it is for the best since he does not want kids and you do. Now you can find someone who wants what you want and makes you happy, and so can he now...

[ShadezMcgee]

You came across a man who has a vision and it includes not having kids. You do. He knows this will be a huge thing for you and you want that while he doesn't. Why would he want to be in a relationship that will ultimately fall apart because you both have a serious boundary like this?

[On_cloud_wine]

It’s like he knew this day was coming and was prepared. He let her go way before they actually broke up.

[ShadezMcgee]

@On_cloud_wine

People with experience in relationships and those who can observe well are quick to pick up on things that will be boundaries or deal breakers.

He may have liked her and hoped she wouldn't want kids down the line, but the more she didn't budge the more he began to separate himself and detach because he knows it is a dealbreaker for her in the end. He let her go so she could pursue it and made peace long before he broke up.

[On_cloud_wine]

Exactly

[jennifer_bloom]

He respects you but does not want to hold you back from something that is important to you just because he selfishly wants you for himself, be glad this break up was clean, many have messy break ups. I know it’s hard but when you one day see your baby staring back at you, you will know you made the right choice.

[Siddeunusual]

The decision to have kids or not is one of the Points in a relationship that can not be discussed.
The First one wants Kids the other hates the Idea to have Kids. I personally would never have Kids and there is no way to change that. It doesn't matters how much I love her or whatever. When we get kids she is happy and I am not and she is unhapoy but I am when we don't have kids. It doesn't makes any sence to fight.

[Ironic_Method]

Maybe he was hoping you'd see how important not having kids is to him. I think he handled it just fine.

[Shihab91]

You didn't do any mistake, you did the right thing by not wasting your time. And yes i believe he doesn't care and sounds like irresponsible guy.

[On_cloud_wine]

Yes, having children comes with a lot of responsibility, but living a lifestyle without children doesn’t make you an irresponsible adult.