After a while you have to let yourself feel the loss and mourn it. Don't mourn the loss of the ex boyfriend but mourn the loss of the relationship. Do not think that you were not good enough, this was not the case. Relationships are hard under the best of conditions. The saying about having to kiss a lot of frogs is really true. If you feel like it you can take a break from dating and do something to make yourself better.
*Hugs* Sweetie, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Hope you feel better soon.
My heart has been broken so many times you would think I would be better at dealing with it. I cry and I sing and I scream and I move on. Maybe a part of me knows I will only ever be a friend with benefits and never a girlfriend. Sometimes I think dreaming I could be loved is the worst part. But a really kind old man who literally saved my life once told me I was worth loving. And if someone like him could care for someone like me, then there is hope for anybody.
I would allow myself to heal from heartbreak and process my emotions. I would accept things for how they are and accept that nothing can change the past.. Then, I would move on and keep pushing forward because not everyone is the same and I am starting again with knowledge because hopefully I learned from the mistakes in the past.
I cry it out, write it down, talk about it if needed and then make plans for my future. I try to chase goals or new habits and well keep myself busy and also make it clear to myself why this ended, what I can learn from it and yeah try to move on and let go.
I believe self care is about coming to a place of self acceptance. It's not that you weren't enough it's that their view of you came short of the ideal they had of you in their own mind. Have some tea, take a bath get some rest tomorrow is a whole new day.
It’s not just that. I know I’m not enough for anyone. It’s been a constant reminder throughout my life and I’ve been told by enough people that I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy of love etc.
Abused people are worthless compared to those who had happy, healthy relationships with people. I obviously did something to deserve what happened to me - I mean why was I the only one out of three kids to suffer?
You're right all guys just want blow up dolls for girlfriends. I just praised you for having it, not because I'm trying to feed you bullshit, it's because I value character.
You think you know exactly what everyone else thinks without even asking. It's not your experiences of trauma but how you deal with them that defines who you are. THATS character that's all anyone who's worth giving a damn about cares about. Ya know what though you are free to play the self pitty card as long as you would like when you're ready to come back to the adults table and talk substance we'd be glad to have you.
I didn't get angy at all. This is how you treat people who come to your post, ya know how many people passed by your words without giving you a second thought. You insult people who try to help you. You need to work on that.
I haven't been heartbroken truly because I never dated anyone seriously enough. But when I get sad I go to the gym, take long baths and just do things to feel good
Alright well first of all the picking up after a break up to NOT jump on the next guy. Refuse to let yourself feel lonely or attached to another person. This is a trick your mind does to you. It wants you to rely on another for comfort and you need to stop and take time for yourself to enjoy stuff YOU wanted to do but didn't before.
This is time to put all about you. Find what makes you happy. Wanted to see that movie but he didn't? Go see it now. Want to try out a restaurant? Go try it.
Don't forget you have plenty of friends out there. If you ever feel lonely go out and just relax with some friends. Don't catch feelings though. If you start feeling attached to someone break it off. You need alone time.
If I ever figure it out I’ll let you know. Get that feeling all too well, it’s just defeating putting everything you’ve got into someone and being told you’re not enough as soon as she’s got her shit together again
Well if my personal history is anything to go by its this
- Realise no-one is gonna get me outta this - Make a conscious effort to 'man up' - End up using sexting as a way of covering up emotional pain - Develop many maladaptive coping methods including emotional numbness - Wait 8 years then go to therapy
Honestly I use heart breaks to develop myself. Prove im the person THEY missed out on. I invest in a new skill or hobby. Most recently I've taught myself how to play multiple music instruments. You have two ways of dealing with it. Wallow in despair, or rise above the storm. Its funny, and perhaps its one of lifes ironies, but I've had multiple women try to reconnect with me later in my life but by that point it was too late. And its then you can have the last laugh...
Try to be busy in working and earning, If possible travel, Talk or chat with new friends, Plant some trees, look after them or involve in any other good hobby.
All I do is work. Work is making me miserable. Travel is difficult bc of covid and lack of money. I feel like my friends all hate me or think I’m just complaining about stuff... maybe I should try planting seeds
don't involve yourself in too much stress and work. Plating is good, I am doing too that nowadays. And I am a great listener and chat buddy :) You can talk with me all day on anything I won't bother tbh :)
You should sing really loudly to a song you like and then you'll start crying from the emotions and you'll feel better, then eat your favorite meal and go to sleep, or exercise and then sleep.
Your preaching to the quoir blonde's. Mines been broke so many times and not just by lovers/partners, friends, family have all taken the sledgehammer to this overly loyal heart.
I'm a private guy so on the occassions my heart has been broken I probably hide it initially, and then possibly sneak it into conversation when on a night out with friends, otherwise it stays inside and is never talked about lol
This is a perfect time to start a new hobby, especially one that will involve a lot of new people, for example a class in painting at a community college, or whatever else you've always wanted to try. If you want to meet guys, take something that's of interest to guys, like cycling, photography, car maintenance, etc.
Being somewhat clinical about it: The six broad facets associated with optimal psychological functioning as follows: 1) self-acceptance; 2) positive relations; 3) autonomy; 4) environmental mastery; 5) purpose in life and 6) a sense of personal growthTaken from https://www. psychologytoday. com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201405/six-domains-psychological-well-being Exercise and ice cream are missing from the the above equation, of course
That's doesn't happen because I'm not stupid enough to feel feelings, I'm beyond feelings.. I'm just a brain with thoughts, a super human genius.. and no offence but feelings are retarded... If I can choose to never be sad about anything, I will... Why would U wanna be sad? That's dumb
You may not be able to control the things that happen in life.. but you can choose what we you want to feel about certain things that happen... That's why I always choose to feel nothing and not care
You jus analyse things from a 3rd person standpoint... So some guy wasn't really interested in you and you was interested in him... So what? It is what it is
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1. Consume an ungodly amount of ice cream. Take a weekend and eat nothing but ice cream for 3 days straight. Like 3 gallons of it a day.
2. Go to the gym and burn off all the ice cream calories.
By the time you've done this, you're in a better mood and you're looking hot af and ready to get back out there.
Lol I'm definitely feeling this
After a while you have to let yourself feel the loss and mourn it. Don't mourn the loss of the ex boyfriend but mourn the loss of the relationship.
Do not think that you were not good enough, this was not the case. Relationships are hard under the best of conditions. The saying about having to kiss a lot of frogs is really true.
If you feel like it you can take a break from dating and do something to make yourself better.
Under the best conditions interesting take on that.
*Hugs* Sweetie, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Hope you feel better soon.
My heart has been broken so many times you would think I would be better at dealing with it. I cry and I sing and I scream and I move on. Maybe a part of me knows I will only ever be a friend with benefits and never a girlfriend. Sometimes I think dreaming I could be loved is the worst part. But a really kind old man who literally saved my life once told me I was worth loving. And if someone like him could care for someone like me, then there is hope for anybody.
I would allow myself to heal from heartbreak and process my emotions. I would accept things for how they are and accept that nothing can change the past.. Then, I would move on and keep pushing forward because not everyone is the same and I am starting again with knowledge because hopefully I learned from the mistakes in the past.
I cry it out, write it down, talk about it if needed and then make plans for my future. I try to chase goals or new habits and well keep myself busy and also make it clear to myself why this ended, what I can learn from it and yeah try to move on and let go.
I believe self care is about coming to a place of self acceptance. It's not that you weren't enough it's that their view of you came short of the ideal they had of you in their own mind. Have some tea, take a bath get some rest tomorrow is a whole new day.
It’s not just that. I know I’m not enough for anyone. It’s been a constant reminder throughout my life and I’ve been told by enough people that I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy of love etc.
You have all the love you need within yourself. You don't need their love you need to find people worthy of sharing it with.
There’s no love within me. I’m broken. Why would I want to love myself? Someone who was beaten and abused? What’s to love about that.
What's there to love about someone who wasn't abused?
What difference does it make?
Abused people are worthless compared to those who had happy, healthy relationships with people. I obviously did something to deserve what happened to me - I mean why was I the only one out of three kids to suffer?
Wouldn't know, never met a person who had happy healthy childhood. Pretty sure just on the coke commercials. Everyone suffers darling.
Yeah but not everyone got sent to school with a broken nose when they were 12 🙃
You're right! That's a unique interesting story that gives you character.
People don’t want character. Not in girls anyway
You're right all guys just want blow up dolls for girlfriends.
I just praised you for having it, not because I'm trying to feed you bullshit, it's because I value character.
That’s not what I’m saying. But in my experience damaged goods aren’t worth anyone’s time
You think you know exactly what everyone else thinks without even asking. It's not your experiences of trauma but how you deal with them that defines who you are. THATS character that's all anyone who's worth giving a damn about cares about.
Ya know what though you are free to play the self pitty card as long as you would like when you're ready to come back to the adults table and talk substance we'd be glad to have you.
I’d rather not be at your table honestly.
Must be nice knowing you’re right and ignoring everyone else’s perspective on things.
You just described yourself perfectly
I was trying to help you and you bit my finger so no wonder your in the mess your in and you blame everyone else.
How did I bite your finger? I only gave my own interpretation of my own life and you got angry at me?
I didn't get angy at all. This is how you treat people who come to your post, ya know how many people passed by your words without giving you a second thought. You insult people who try to help you. You need to work on that.
Where have I insulted you?
You sound super angry to me dude.
I haven't been heartbroken truly because I never dated anyone seriously enough. But when I get sad I go to the gym, take long baths and just do things to feel good
Oh to have lived without heartbreak. I’m jealous 🥺
Haha well to be fair I've never been in a serious relationship
Alright well first of all the picking up after a break up to NOT jump on the next guy. Refuse to let yourself feel lonely or attached to another person. This is a trick your mind does to you. It wants you to rely on another for comfort and you need to stop and take time for yourself to enjoy stuff YOU wanted to do but didn't before.
This is time to put all about you. Find what makes you happy. Wanted to see that movie but he didn't? Go see it now. Want to try out a restaurant? Go try it.
Don't forget you have plenty of friends out there. If you ever feel lonely go out and just relax with some friends. Don't catch feelings though. If you start feeling attached to someone break it off. You need alone time.
If I ever figure it out I’ll let you know. Get that feeling all too well, it’s just defeating putting everything you’ve got into someone and being told you’re not enough as soon as she’s got her shit together again
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with the same shit 😔 I wouldn’t wish it on anyone
Yeah that’s just life I guess. It’s always those that care the most that get hurt the most
Well if my personal history is anything to go by its this
- Realise no-one is gonna get me outta this
- Make a conscious effort to 'man up'
- End up using sexting as a way of covering up emotional pain
- Develop many maladaptive coping methods including emotional numbness
- Wait 8 years then go to therapy
Haven’t had a broken heart in 7 years. My secret? Stay single and reject anyone who’s interested even if you’re interested in return.
You’ve been single as long as I have! I just made the stupid mistake of letting myself get crushed again 😒
Bummer
Honestly I use heart breaks to develop myself. Prove im the person THEY missed out on. I invest in a new skill or hobby. Most recently I've taught myself how to play multiple music instruments. You have two ways of dealing with it. Wallow in despair, or rise above the storm. Its funny, and perhaps its one of lifes ironies, but I've had multiple women try to reconnect with me later in my life but by that point it was too late. And its then you can have the last laugh...
Try to be busy in working and earning,
If possible travel, Talk or chat with new friends,
Plant some trees, look after them or involve in any other good hobby.
All I do is work. Work is making me miserable. Travel is difficult bc of covid and lack of money. I feel like my friends all hate me or think I’m just complaining about stuff... maybe I should try planting seeds
don't involve yourself in too much stress and work.
Plating is good, I am doing too that nowadays.
And I am a great listener and chat buddy :)
You can talk with me all day on anything I won't bother tbh :)
I cry for a week or two. Let myself grieve and go become a fuck toy to speed up the healing process.
But I have not needed to that since the late 1990s. I have been married to my lovely lady since then
You should sing really loudly to a song you like and then you'll start crying from the emotions and you'll feel better, then eat your favorite meal and go to sleep, or exercise and then sleep.
Your preaching to the quoir blonde's. Mines been broke so many times and not just by lovers/partners, friends, family have all taken the sledgehammer to this overly loyal heart.
I'm a private guy so on the occassions my heart has been broken I probably hide it initially, and then possibly sneak it into conversation when on a night out with friends, otherwise it stays inside and is never talked about lol
Try not to dwell on it. Keep busy with friends, work, and hobbies.
All I have is work honestly
This is a perfect time to start a new hobby, especially one that will involve a lot of new people, for example a class in painting at a community college, or whatever else you've always wanted to try. If you want to meet guys, take something that's of interest to guys, like cycling, photography, car maintenance, etc.
I don’t want to meet guys honestly. I want to stay away from people as much as I can again
That's how I would deal with it, but you have to do what's best for you.
Being somewhat clinical about it: The six broad facets associated with optimal psychological functioning as follows: 1) self-acceptance; 2) positive relations; 3) autonomy; 4) environmental mastery; 5) purpose in life and 6) a sense of personal growthTaken from https://www. psychologytoday. com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201405/six-domains-psychological-well-being Exercise and ice cream are missing from the the above equation, of course
That's doesn't happen because I'm not stupid enough to feel feelings, I'm beyond feelings.. I'm just a brain with thoughts, a super human genius.. and no offence but feelings are retarded... If I can choose to never be sad about anything, I will... Why would U wanna be sad? That's dumb
You may not be able to control the things that happen in life.. but you can choose what we you want to feel about certain things that happen... That's why I always choose to feel nothing and not care
You jus analyse things from a 3rd person standpoint... So some guy wasn't really interested in you and you was interested in him... So what? It is what it is
Life happens
Fuck it. Who cares