What are YOUR methods to cope with a breakup?

[WonderBell99]

Updates

1 y

Thank you so much for all your opinions, guys! This is a hypothetical questions by the way. I’m not going through a breakup. Sorry about all the breakup questions I asked yesterday 😂

[exitseven]

One time I was dumped in the most cruel way. I was really devastated. I just stopped seeing my friends and got really withdrawn. I was really sad and miserable. It took a few months before I started to feel better.

[WonderBell99]

Damn. I’m really sorry about that.

Glad you started feeling better. I overthink a lot when I’m alone, so spending too much time alone with my thoughts when I’m experiencing negative emotions is detrimental to mental health.. this may apply to everyone though, but some people may feel more comfortable with their own thoughts when they’re alone, I guess

[exitseven]

I was dealing with a really crappy life situation and this relationship was probably the only good thing I had in my life. When it ended I did not know how I was going to continue.

[WonderBell99]

I completely understand the feeling. Sometimes after a breakup, you feel just hopeless and lost. I’m so glad that you were able to push through and become stronger.

[exitseven]

The problem with GaG is that it makes you remember all kind of horrors.

[WonderBell99]

Lol 😅

[exitseven]

RE Update: glad you are not dealing with a breakup. I thought you were.

[WonderBell99]

lol.. I should’ve mentioned it beforehand in my description. Sorry about that. 😅

Thank you!

[Kaneki05]

Obsessive thoughts about the person and wanting to die. It's very healthy way of dealing with it clearly.

[WonderBell99]

Wtf this is so relatable- except the dying part, lol.

I’m not sure how to explain, but when I’m interested in someone, I get obsessed with them. It’s like a crush but the intensity of it is just so freaking much. I sound creepy rn- I’m terrible at explaining stuff 😭

[Kaneki05]

Well I don't want to push a diagnoses onto to someone but look up Limerence. It's what I have no doubt it's pretty much always extreme lows or extreme highs when obsessed with someone.
So I get quite stuck in my own head, I am aware of it obviously which makes it a bit better but not by much.

[WonderBell99]

@Kaneki05 Just googled it. Me in a nutshell whenever I’m interested in someone. I’ve had crushes.. and I’ve been in limerence twice. It’s the worst, especially when your feelings aren’t being reciprocated. I hate it, as much as I love it. I don’t make sense, but oh well

[Kaneki05]

Trust me I get it. I met a girl on my friends birthday 2nd April and like a dumbass I liked her quickly which then led to me obsessing over her which the major problem with that while she was single that night she wasn't the next days on cause she liked someone.
I tried not to think about but of course I could only think of her. And even now I still have her in the back of my mind not so much at the front which is good but still there. While she was single I also cuddled her which made me want her more but lucky enough I didn't catch onto her scent cause that would really screw me over.
The best part about all this, she isn't my type at all and it would probably end because we don't have much in common anyway yet I still thought of her. She is funny tho and nice.

Most people get limerence but just never realise it thinking it's love or just a crush. But it is a bit more in depth than that. Not to say it cannot work out but it often backfires.

[WonderBell99]

It feels nice to have finally met someone who gets it.

That really sucks. You seem cool, it’s her loss. I’ve seen you around and you seem like a fun person to have deep conversations with (I hate small talks, I’m awful at it 😅🥲).

This has happened to me as well.. the roller coaster kinda rush you experience when you talk to them, the red flags you ignore, the countless fake scenarios you make up in your mind, gosh.. I know it all too well. Been there, done that. The worst thing is, my socially anxious ass finally got the courage to admit my feelings to him, and he rejected me. But that was expected since he was heavily in depression. Funnily, I was in depression when I met him as well.

I know that it’s hard to get over someone when you’re in limerence.. but I hope you meet an awesome girl soon who likes you back.

[Kaneki05]

I'm sure I'll find someone else to get limerence over and thus repeat such a cycle. Thanks I try to be cool it's my life goal lol. Indeed many red flags just one cannot help it sadly. At least you can say you built up your courage to say something that a win even if the end goal wasn't achieved :)
Yeah I often put more effort into talking mostly that's because of me been a loner though so much to say that I don't often say.

[WonderBell99]

Feel ya on that. I sometimes find it difficult to carry on the conversation and it gets awkward. I just send a “lol“ with a smiley face emoji to make it less weird which only makes it a hundred times weirder 😂

Same here, i hope I don’t get limerence at least for a few more years. It’s kinda exhausting tbh

That’s true hahaha, thank you (=

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

In the past, I usually isolated myself and grieved alone. I would stay in my room, listen to music, do art, talk to friends, sleep, eat, and probably get stoned lol. It wasn’t always the healthiest, but I know that I deserved a small portion of time to let myself grieve the breakup, and that means giving myself time to isolate. As long as I had friends and family to talk to, I would be okay.

The last time I got broken up with, I grieved. I grieved for a long time because that was the end of an abusive relationship, with someone I truly loved before it even became abusive and before I even realized it was abusive. It was the last time because I got the courage to not go back when the cycle of abuse started to repeat again.

During my last breakup, I reached out to my therapist after a year and a half of not going. I needed help, and I needed someone to talk to. I coped by going to therapy and keeping myself busy during the day. I went to the gym, I started to spend more time with family, I started putting more effort into myself, started to gain confidence, BUT I was overworking myself at my job to try and distract myself. Lol, that’s my flaw… I either grieve for a long ass time or don't grieve at all and just ignore these emotions… Or do both lol

[jennifer_bloom]

I did not cope healthily when I broke up but my current method is books on how to find happiness alone and noting affirmations from the religious books. Like when I was concerned about never marrying, I scoured the bible for verses and conditional offers on God giving a marriage to you.

[razelove]

I sleep with their friends. That'll calm me right down from being frustrated or angry. Then figure out what I want to remember about the relationship, write it down, staple whatever tickets or receipts are there for that, get a cigar box, altoids tin, whatever. I have a terrible memory, so whatever I don't hold onto I'll absolutely forget.

Like the broad outline remains if it was a deep enough impression, everything else fades. I can't remember what my ex-wife looked like, sounded like, only that she cheated a lot, and her fingers looked like sausages.

Anyway, my advice might not be the best, though you could certainly develop memory problems, I would recommend against it. I know it has to be stressful on my wife sometimes to be my wife, and my memory as well. She knows more about women I've been with then I do.

They come up to me all "hey M, how've you been, why didn't you ever call or anything, I thought we were still cool?" and in my mind I'm going "Who the hell are you?" It's only awkward if you let it be awkward, I'll introduce my wife first, then ask if they want to get back together and sleep together again or... what's up?

My weirdness aside, how do you handle break-ups?

[ohshee]

First of all you have to be honest with yourself no matter what that's the main key you can't share Eco things about the guy maybe because you like him and he wanted to keep working so you lie to yourself you can't do that it just means another heartache somewhere down the line
Then you have to understand that you are the only person inside of you you are the only person that can run your heart you're the only person that can feel your heart hurt love be happy and then you have to make a choice you have to accept it that's the biggest that's the hardest what most people do is they jump in a friendship really quick just so they can take their mind off of things

This is easier said than done but you have to try not to think about it the moment you start thinking about it change your mind change your attitude about everything help somebody do anything just to keep busy

Find somebody to talk to you on here or on any other app role play something out some kind of role play where you can feel love but you can really feel what it feels like if somebody really cared and how they would treat you but they would do with you for you you have to smile but you have to accept everything that's the quickest and the best and fastest way go for walks to clear your mind go look in the mirror and say you're you're beautiful and you can get any guy and that's probably true so you have to say to yourself it's over it's okay I will get through this I have gotten through everything from the day I was born till this day I will get through this very very easy very quickly and there is somebody that loves me out there that wants to hold me and tell me how much they love me and really prove it to me

[SolitarySolace]

I haven’t had to deal with a break up in almost 8 years because I’m smart enough and strong enough to stay single unlike majority of you idiots out there who are just now coming to realize that being alone and avoiding sex is better.




I still deal with the occasional heartbreaks now and then because apparently my nature is still to find someone. Fighting that is difficult, but necessary in todays world or I’ll end up a pawn in the leftist feminist game. I refuse to become a woman’s lapdog like Will Smith. Look where that got him. Relationships always end the same way anyway. In either a break up or a nasty divorce.

[DavidRaul]

I would socialize as much as possible. Stay with my family and be with friends. I would indulge in activities that i love

[WonderBell99]

Awesome!

[ArtemisSilver]

I've only ever been dumped as a teen, so I have no idea. I've ended a few relationships amicably and mutually but it wasn't really upsetting or anything.

That's part of why I like polyamory, one partner isn't holding your feelings hostage.

[ArtemisSilver]

Well I guess I ghosted a gold digger once, but to be fair I tried to let her down softly once and she tried to reel me back in with her... Assets. But no, I had to stay strong

[WonderBell99]

Glad you stayed strong!

[ArtemisSilver]

You have no idea how hard it was, she was a kind of freaky that I really enjoyed, but it's not cool getting used.

[WonderBell99]

Lolol

[Blackcupcake]

this might sound bad, but I’ve never been upset or heartbroken or felt any negative feelings because of a breakup… at least so far with the guys I’ve dated.

[UniquelyBasic]

Maybe they ended on good terms

[Blackcupcake]

@UniquelyBasic one, out of three ended on good terms and with mutual understanding and agreement lol

the rest… I was soooo over it by the time it ended that it was more of a relief than anything else

[WonderBell99]

No.. this doesn’t sound bad, babes. Maybe you didn’t feel the same way about them anymore and it’s perfectly okay

[Blackcupcake]

@wonderbell99 yes and that’s basically what it was… hahaha

[TrueConfection]

My relationship prior to my husband ended mutually forthe most part and I felt disappointed and as though I had wasted 2 years of my life. I found other things to do with my time and changed my routines. It was uncomfortable at first, but it was exciting doing new things and meeting new people.

[AviatorTom]

Mope and feel sorry for myself for a few days, then go find another woman to date.

[WonderBell99]

Hahah that’s nice! (=

[Wise4myage]

Keep yourself busy, and don't spend too much time alone.

[WonderBell99]

Great advice. I usually end up overthinking too much when I’m alone 😂

[Wise4myage]

Yes, we all do that and it can drive you nuts.

[Adronicus]

Music, here's an example.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/YhM2a2yGifo

Some of my music gets dark, & some is the exact opposite. Depends on my mood / feels. I'll also add a positive song to balance the negativity of the first.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/0NrVwGsX16E

[amirhadadi]

It depends how much we loved her. If broke out is easy that means our relationship was not serious and vice versa. If have fell in love we try our best to stop the break out. But sometimes there is no choice and we need to undrestand that we are not suitable each other. Tolorate of a little distress or even trauma is easier than very serious problems on future

[TNTitlebelt]

It would likely be to just go through the stages of grief.

I think there's like 7 of them. The hardest thing to do though, is to go through them

[TNTitlebelt]

Hey can you accept me, and follow me back please?

[WhitneySnow]

Cry talk to my friends eat some ice cream

[WonderBell99]

I did the same with my ex- I ate a lottt of ice cream

[WhitneySnow]

Same lol

[avony12]

I actually go out with my friends a lot, my family and TikTok has me in a chokehold

[libsaretards]

I read, write, listen to music, workout and hang out with loved ones. I do my best to not be alone in silence until I can think clearly.

[eblehe]

Grief, pain, wanting to not feel anything, music. Time makes things hurt less gradually after that.

[Guy13]

⚽️. Gym. Meetup groups

[WonderBell99]

Great!

[JoyGirl]

Working, gaming, and blasting music on car drives. 🥴