I dumped my girlfriend and now I feel like a complete idiot?

[teejayem]

So not too long ago I dumped my girlfriend because I felt she no longer had an interest in our relationship, given the very little effort she had during our relationship. I was always the one making the effort to keeps things moving along and she was the one who always made it seem so dull. yet I am so attracted to her. I felt she no longer genuinely enjoyed my company because she would always give me simple answers to questions that require effort, thought and feelings (if that makes any sense) so basically, I was the one making most of the moves. and now I feel super idiotic for dumping her. everynight since I removed her from Facebook and her cell # I can't help but think about her...what should I do? Should I contact and tell her I was wrong? but her actions and words were effortless in our relationship, it was like she expected me to do all the work..which is NOT a relationship...

I feel terrible for breaking up with her but also relieved I don't have to emotionally stress over her...but at same time I feel like I need her in my life...help anyone?

[kitkatxxoo]

I think you made the right choice and I'm a girl myself. I recently broke up with my boyfriend for sort of the same reason and I think I'm still in love with him but he was so careless and said mean things about me and after I dumped him he didn't care at all and started rubbing it right in my face that he liked someone else. Everyone always told me I could do better and he wasn't right for me and I ignored them because I was in love with him and I couldn't change that. Afterwards I thought about it and he never texted me back that frequently and I always felt I was the one arranging when we could meet up. The last day I saw him before my summer holidays I was in crutches. After I broke up with him he said "It's okay I didn't think I liked you anyways because the crutches kind of looked weird" and now I dumped him everyone said he made me look bad, and so the moral of it all is I should have listened. We were together for 6 months and now I think about it. I wasted my time. He also dumped me one time before and I just found out that he only asked me out again because he knew he couldn't get anybody else.

[teejayem]

he didn't like you because your crutches kind of looked weird? lame.

[estrellita54]

If you feel that bad talk to her, tell her how you feel and talk about how your relationship was, tell her that you want her to put moe effort in the relationship and see what happens, I think you should try again and see how it goes, is it doesn't work, end it

good luck

[SunSeeker]

No, you shouldn't, because you weren't wrong. Relationships must always be mutual, or inevitably they will fail, as is evident. If anything, it is her that should be thinking about whether or not SHE should call you and tell you you were right, and that she wants to put more effort in the relationship. That is of course, hypothetically speaking, that she even cared. You broke up with her because she wasn't putting in the effort required to make a relationship last, so don't forget that.

[teejayem]

I might have left out the detail that we genuinely cared for each other.

she has bland interest for my life and her own.

it shows in our conversations we have and she only really says what I want to hear rather than what I NEED to hear. It gets annoying when your girl starts to talk to you like a new acquaintance, being too friendly and less "real" with their own opinions of each other. I need a girl who will keep me in check and actually call me out on things..maybe I'm too picky?

[SunSeeker]

No, I know exactly just what you mean. In any relationship, intimacy is required in order for the relationship to progress, depth wise. Some people are uncomfortable with that, and to them I ask, why bother at all? You're not picky, you're just human, in need of a genuine connection with someone. If she can't/won't afford you that, then it's in your best interest to move on. Being kept in the dark about your partner's feelings is truly a miserable experience.

[Shaun]

You did the right thing. Do other things to keep yourself occupied. Props for dumping her. That must've been a shock for her.