Woman I was dating for 6 months just ended due to depression is it the case?

[ReasonCalm]

Been dating a woman for 6 months semi long distance, we have had some amazing times and also times where it's been a low vibe or atmosphere. She would never open up about why she was feeling down but it was written on her face and reactions in conversation. When we met for the first time she told me she suffered with depression and anxiety but this did not put me off her I only asked her to be open and transparent about when she feels a particular way and needs space.

We met up every weekend I would go to hers she would come to mine sometimes every other week till one time she went on holiday with friends and we didn't see each other for 5 weeks. I felt the communication was getting longer tiring or uninspiring but thought it was because she's enjoying holidays didn't want to bother her, still there was effort the messages were not short she would still send photos but then it got me by surprise to not hear from her for a few days

To receive a message saying she's breaking up and ending things, she will call me to explain or if not she understands if I don't ever want to speak with her again. She said her mental health is affecting the relationship and can see it's wearing on me and she needs space, but we haven't seen each other for 5 weeks! She started the message off saying she's been thinking for a while but never thought to raise the issues weeks ago which I feel is leading me on. She already come to the decision to end things but didn't even want to talk it through. After speaking with her on the phone she's now changing her tone to give her a couple of weeks to figure out what's best for both of us. Emotions are truly gone. The internet is telling me she's found someone else don't even contact her move on. But I feel like this has to be dealt with differently because she's been open right from the beginning she has depression and anxiety... Females please do give some detailed opinions.

[OlderAndWiser]

She doesn't what to deal with it. That is part of her depression. And you can't force her to deal with it now. Would you resume things with her later if she had a change of heart?

[ReasonCalm]

We are long distance so to hang around when she's already jumped ship is tearing me apart. I understand it's something she needs to deal with alone but when we've spoken about life together and not long distance it's hard to picture how she'll deal with another episode because she would have me there for support.

[OlderAndWiser]

But that IS her choice. Just tell her that you will give her all the space she needs with the assumption that you'll ever see her again and you will move forward with you life but. . . if she has a change of heart, no bridges have been burned and you will welcome her back (unless you have gotten into a relationship with someone else in the meanwhile.)

[ReasonCalm]

I have no intention of moving onto another woman or dating till next year, to much pain need to heal myself and then if she did come back could I open up and let this happen again. Genuinely thought we had already both verbally spoken about communication and being open yet here I am 😭 but I had plans to be with her she knows this so I wouldn't give up so easy. Time will tell.

[Marniboo]

Bless your heart babe.. I'm sorry your having to go through this (hugs)

Well from seeing my own friends and how they've actually treat people in past relationships online... they do tend to escalate reality and manipulate to gain what they want.. I've seen personally how much they can lie , cheat etc.. I'm not saying that's the case with your experience.. but by what I've read. I'm sorry but I have to agree with others opinion also.. it seams she's a player ! And honestly you deserve to be happy not to be played with.. again I could be wrong.. but if someone says they arnt sure and have felt that way for a while yet never even gave you heads up or an opportunity to talk and try fix things? Then I'd have to say walk as someone who can be that selfish doesn't deserve you !

[ReasonCalm]

Thanks for your opinion it definitely helps me see all angles. The biggest part that kills me is we've had time apart, which should have been the time she needed to come and speak about her feelings to air them out, but she's just ran off. To say she cares make me feel like a mug. I'm not sure if this is the behaviour of someone who has depression but I'm looking into it more and pushing people away when things get tough seems to be a trait.

[Marniboo]

I'm sorry but I have depression and anxiety , social anxiety and pdsd along with bod u dismorphia.. having mental health issues doesn't give you a free pass to hurt people or treat them like garbage !!
So if it was her depression. That would happen randomly no warning then she'd regret it and take it back... or it would be a long painful process of constant pushing you away..
She was perfect then she went away for weeks and now she's not sure? That raises so many alarm bells for me.. my advice.. call her tell her this isn't OK that you both need to sit down like adults and sort this put that you deserve a proper explanation and your say on this.. she doesn't get to just walk like that and give you some cheap lie to make her self look better at what she's doing than she actually is.. but if it was me personally I'd walk away and let her get on..

[ReasonCalm]

Yes I would say she has been pushing me away before this but more so with lack of communication and staring into space not opening up about why she's looking away or feeling down, other than me accepting the fact she has depression/anxiety. Some times she would open up about things that have happened in the past but she couldn't give a particular thing that triggers it in the present. Yes your right we would need to meet in person and speak truthfully but I've honoured she needs time but also said I can't be her friend due to how I feel about her making this decision on her own. Having know for ages by looks of it Maybe I've shot myself in the foot there. Throughout our whole time together I've shown nothing but care, love and support and been very patient. Told her it's no shame to cry in my arms, or feel bad for feeling down. Maybe I've put her under some pressure for speaking about our future, suggesting many times about moving up North with me when I finish my work... We had so many things in common like this was the one. I'm heart broken. How have you dealt with breaking up with someone if you have become you mentioned you also have depression anxiety and pdsd

[LazerBean]

Maybe she found someone else, maybe she didn't. There's no way to tell for sure, but either way you're always going to put yourself at risk for being on a constant emotional roller coaster whenever you date a mentally ill person.

[ReasonCalm]

That's the risk I took from the get go but I don't see it as an illness rather a temporary issue but I can't force someone to open up that's for them to do in there own time.

[melnc]

Even if you know why it won't change the fact that it's over. The relationship didn't work out and that's normal. In the end, you need to move.

[ReasonCalm]

Crunch 😬