Im currently in the first weeks of being pregnant and my boyfriend and I argued about something he got bothered of and told me he was tired of us and I shouldn’t have baby. Should I just focus on myself n block him?
No you should work it out. Give him some time to chill out and then work it out. I mean, it’s shitty what he did, But he’s the father of that child. He can’t just leave and tell you to kill it. I don’t know how you feel about abortion, but he does and knew you were pregnant, that’s a terrible thing to hold over you. It maybe another reason why they suggest waiting till marriage for sex. At least they have dna testing now. If you’re planning on keeping it, That kid deserves to have a father. He needs to learn that you can’t just walk away. He needs to step up and quit being such a selfish prick and realize he is just as responsible for keeping your relationship going, at minimum for the babies sake. You two should be getting married. That should be the goal now. Make it work and learn to be happy together. No couple has never argued. Relationships take effort. Is not Always easy. Working through tough situations together will make both of you stronger and you will be better at dealing with it when it inevitably happens again. You will become closer and appreciate each other more. It happens you will both get over it. And it’s easier to get over it together when you Don’t hold grudges or resentment. You are in a tough spot atm. I hope it gets better, good luck!
Focus on yourself and the new life. If he wants to end things, it is because he is afraid of child support, which I really do get. If he really doesn't want the child, I'd say offer him to give up his parental rights, which means no child support but he can't ever have anything to do with the child and he will be out of your life forever.
Allowing him to keep his rights, and thus pay child support to help you also means he legally gets visitation and may exercise it for a child he wants nothing to do with, that is unhealthy and bad for the child to have to suffer through that.
He is being shitty. He made a baby with you. Abortion is murder and he wants the easy way out. He does not want the responsibility of sleeping with someone.
My advice is have the child. He will have to choose if he wants to be a part of his own kids life or not. If he doesn’t that’s unfortunate but he will have to pay child support. Be the best mother that you can be or put the child up for adoption.
You seem like you’re probably a responsible person whose being responsible for your choices. He is not. He’s being a shitty boyfriend to you who he got pregnant and his unborn child.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. But not to be rude. A life lesson. Pick better men. Not men who use you for sex.
Dam... This is a tough one.
Statistics for children raised in single mother households is horrible. 90% + on prison inmates come from these types of households...
I hope you have a strong family unit around you, otherwise...
Dam, it's a tough one. I've seen the effects of abortion on a lot of women and it's never nice. Your best bet is to wait for things to chill, however who knows what you argued about.. maybe you cheated, in that case there's no going back.
I hate being that guy to give advice on hindsight, but this is why you marry before you carry. Trying to cheat the game will always work out bad for you in future relationships and even worse for that child's outcome.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
It's weird why people would advise you to block him, blocking him effects the child.. not you. A child will ALWAYS want to know their father.
It's odd that you can love the potential baby enough to want to bring it into this world, but also choose a course that would cause the child deep psychological suffering.
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I think you are right as it is related to Abortion for this Reason. It does not go away as there is always a Remembrance Day. It is either a birth date or Death date. I work with this population in varied ways. This fact in your life will have an enormous effect if you abort a child. It never goes away and the other people pushing you towards abortion are pushing you into a premeditated murder as abortion is the attack upon the defenseless... just like Putin.
Block? No.. once you have this baby, he’s the father so you should leave communication open.
Not stay with him? Yeah I’d rethink if this is someone you want to stay in a relationship with if he’s the type to try to break up or say he doesn’t want the baby anytime he gets mad or you guys argue.
Parenting doesn’t start when a baby is born, it starts the minute that life is created, do what’s best for your unborn child
The most important thing now is you and your pregnancy. That's number one. I'm not suggesting you block him though. He has a responsibility in your pregnancy too. Tell him how you feel and what you want to do.
u He is probably feeling overwhelmed by the idea of becoming a father. Give him a few days to get a handle on the situation.
Because you have a child on the way, I'd say do your best to work it out for the child. Children in single parent housholds are statistically at a significant disadvantage when compared to children that grow up in a two parent household. So blocking him prematurely at this point, isn't going to do you or the child any good. You should have vetted him before becoming pregnant, but the past is the past. Make better choices going forward, and think of how best you can create a world for your child to thrive in. And that includes swallowing your pride and doing what you can to make it work with the child's father. Don't take abuse, as that would be counterintuitive, but do your best.
You argued. Normal people go to calm down. They don’t tell you to get rid of your child. It’s obviously on his mind, and he doesn’t want to be a dad, or is scared of being one. I suggest you both talk, but I personally would focus on my self so I can do the best for my unborn child.
Everyone says things they don’t mean in anger. Give it a couple of days of radio silence and see if he contacts you. Contrary to some of the other replies, I highly suggest against abortion. It’s not going to be easy, but aborting isn’t a free way out. There are always consequences, physical and/or emotional.
As someone who is also pregnant but closw to giving birth and also got dumped and abandoned. Don't chase after him. Give him some space and if you haven't heard from him within the next month than block him.
I wouldn't recommend bring a child in the world by yourself, its gonna be hard on you and the child. I get that is a very hard decision to do that but why would you want to have a kid with a loser that would say that to you, and he is either gonna be in your life for at least 18 years or he is gonna not be there for your child and give them a complex of not being loved...
Maybe because not everyone believes in abortion. I would kill myself before I ever had an abortion.
@LoneleeGirll Well I hope you know that isn't the best choice for your child... but its your choice, im just giving you advice.
How can you even remotely say what is best for that child? You have no clue what is best for a child at all. I know someone whose biological dad also abandoned them and guess what, that child now has a father figure in his life who adopted him and even raised him as his own and that boy has one of the best lives ever and if you ever spoke to that boy who is 22 years old now he himself will tell you he is glad his mother never had an abortion. That boy who is now an adult biological father showed up when he was 12 and that kid told the judge he wants nothing to do with that guy because the guy who married his mom is who he considers his father.
But hey keep believing abortion is the best option when it's not always the best option
@LoneleeGirll That is nice.. but do you know for a fact your child will be happy? No, but like I said its your choice do you. I came from a single mother and I was poor and my mother had boyfriends that were mean/abusive to me because she too didn't want to abort me.
No one knows for certain if a child will be happy or not, but guess what. How many kids who do have 2 parents go on to live unhappy lives. There are probably more people out there who grew up with both their parents in their lives who are unhappy and have even sadly ended their lives compared to those who grew up with single moms. I grew up with my parents both married and in my life but I was always extremely unhappy and we were also poor to the point at times we couldn't put food on the table.
My point is regardless if you bring a child into the world with a partner or not, you will never know if a child will ever truly be happy or not. Not all kids who are born to single parents grow up being unhappy or does that single parent struggle. Tesla owner Elon pretty sure his mother was a single mother same as Johnny Depp and those 2 are 2 of the richest men in the world.
My husband cheated on me and abandoned me around the time I fell pregnant, even though he has disappeared and abandoned our baby. My baby is going to receive a lot of love from a lot of people and my baby will never know what it is like to go without food. She may not know the love of her biological father but she will still know how much she is loved and wanted
@LoneleeGirll Yes that is fine. I just don't think it is the best option is all I'm saying. I'm not telling you you have to abort the kid. I'm sure if you are determined to give the kid the best life, it will be fine but there will be challenges.
Your first opinion implied an abortion was the best and truth it angered me. I can see where you are coming from I really do. It sucks and it hurts you went through what you did. I am so sorry to know you did. I worked with a girl who did have an abortion because the guy told her if she kept the baby he would dump her and her own family also didn't want her having the baby because she wasn't married so she had the abortion and not even 6 months later after she had the abortion he still ended up dumping her and she fell into severe depression not being able to work or leave the house because after she had the abortion she struggled with her decision. Sometimes abortions affect you mentally.
I was just trying to get you to see that even having both parents around doesn't mean the child will be happy or that they won't grow up poor either. I think their can be many challenges regardless if you are a single mom or not. I get angry at people saying you shouldn't bring a child into the world unless you are married. Truth is sometimes staying together for the sake of the kids can really hurt kids. At the end of the day weather we are married or not when we bring a child into the world. We will never ever truly know if the child will be happy or not.
@Sasha0426 If you read the conversation I said it was fine, mind your business
@Sasha0426 Yeah but you obviously don't know how to read because I said it would be fine if she had the kid
@Sasha0426 Who cares what you feel, you weirdo. I said what I meant.
@Sasha0426 Okay there
@Irondrago Okay there jackass. Why don't you climb back up your mothers cunt where you came from so I don't have to hear from you again.
@Irondrago Am gonna assume your an American with your tough guy persona behind a computer screen. Who's the real faggot here? And yeah I'll get right on killing myself because you told me to you little bitch.
@LoneleeGirll anecdotal examples of success should never be argued as the rule.
Yes I could tell you that sole people win the national lottery, but the stories of the people who don't. Greatly outweigh those who win.
Most people that play the lottery, play every week and never win.
90%+ of inmates come from single mother households. That's a fact. If you're willing to roll that dice then so be it, but also understand that you also have pretty much no value to any potential male partner that may want to come into your life. The majority of men will pass you by without a second thought.
@Sasha0426 Don't just make stuff up now.
@Sasha0426 that's a lie. This is why boys from single women suffer. Many of you just don't care about the truth. You lie so easily, it just rolls off your tongue. This is how weak men are made. The majority of men in prison for sexually aggravated assault against women come from single mother households.
@Sasha0426 You're funny that made my laugh. But if you look it up what he is saying isn't far from the truth. But I guess none of this is really helpful to lonelygirl
@Jackblue hello, I'm not arguing in favour of abortion here. This is a complicated situation. I'm talking about probabilities, exceptions to the rule isn't something I like to argue with or against as it's a dead end road.
You wouldn't bet your entire life's accumulated wealth on an investment with a 10% chance of yielding a return.
Kind regards,
@Sasha0426 If it was a single dad, again how is that his fault? The kid is already here at that point? He is just stepping up.
he is ignorant to being accountable where he wanted to play in the bedroom and it's also his child and from what you wrote is he seems like a child himself but if you were to pull a bluff saying it was a "false alarm" on a text and he suddenly wants to get back with you then you know it's time to block him
Block his ass and move on. Your pregnant don't let anything or anyone stress you out life is to short. You have to do what best for you right now if you want to keep your baby the keep your child bit do what you want to do and don't let anyone stress you into doing something else
So what did you do to piss off this guy? Because we don't have his side of the story?
As stupid as it sounds earlier that day we had car sex and he asked me if I enjoyed it and I replied “ yes but I wanted more , it didn’t last “ he finished in less then 5 mins. That’s what got him mad and we started to argue and he told me he was tired of this and he been stressed. I made sure he knew I didn’t try to offend him but he wouldn’t communicate with me.
Is he drinking or taking drugs, because even though we're here on this side upon I've been hearing weird stuff lately.
He drinking on the weekends and has a weed pen. This was on a Monday so he was sober
Maybe he is hungover.
Unfortunately we been having sex problems so I doubt is that. He also made a comment saying “ I’m never satisfied and that I always want more & more “ to me that was offensive and made me feel like asking for more sex is a issue for him. Not sure how he really feels about us anymore since he doesn’t communicate with me.
He also said “ we not the same like before “ so makes me things he kind of bored of us 🥲
Maybe he thinks you're cheating on him or more than likely he is cheating on you so he doesn't have any energy to satisfy 2 woman. Something's wrong some
Depends, do u want the baby? If u want it, then keep it. It will be hard but I'm sure u will get help from other people. On the other hand, if you don't want the baby, abortion is an option🤔
Dont abort your baby. If you can't handle it you can choose adoption or put the baby in a safe haven baby box they are everywhere. You have 30 days to leave him/her in a safe haven baby box.
He's scared shitless because if you keep the baby he's on the hook for child support for the next 18 years
You should definitely do that...
You should definitely get rid of the boyfriend, then you can decide whether you want to continue the pregnancy.
Relax, take deep breaths. You guys need to sit and talk it out. Nothing can be done in a haste.
Focus on yourself and what you want. You two broke up, he has no say
You had an argument. That's normal for couples. But if you are going to have a child together you can't just "block him". He's the father of your soon-to-be child. You owe your child, and its father, better than that.
Oh sweetie he sounds like he is 14. How in the world would he ever be there for you if you really really needed him? Choose better next time.
Firstly, do you want the baby regardless? If yes, are you prepared to raise the baby on your own? Physically & financially? Do you have help from your family or friends?
You should abort the pregnancy because it's going to hard on you to raise a child by yourself and you shouldn't have a child with a man who left you. You should have a baby with a man who won't leave you and loves you.
Stop recommending abortion. Not all of the time abortion is the right decision. Do you know the suffering and the pain and deep regrets some women go through from having an abortion. I explained this earlier a girl I worked with fell into deep depression because of attitudes like yours that pushed her into having an abortion. To this day she cannot hold a job and she can barely leave the house, anytime she sees a baby or even an ultrasound of a baby she breaks down crying. Its been 10 years since the abortion and She deeply regrets listening to people whose attitudes are like yours that contributed to her feeling pressured into having an abortion. Abortion is not always the right choice. So what if the child isn't going to have the dad around, it doesn't mean the child isn't going to be loved or wanted. Having 2 parents in a child's life doesn't mean the child is going to be happy in that home.
@Jackblue exactly. This is exactly what happened with someone who I personally know. Their biological dad abandoned them, mom went onto to meet another guy who she married and that guy not only adopted that boy, but he raised that boy as his own child. Fast forward to today he is now 22 years old and he is one of the happiest people. The guy who adopted him even offered to pay for his entire uni fees if he wanted to go to uni. He treats the 22 year exactly the same way he treats his biological kids.
He probably instigated it or is using it to try to get you to abort because he does not want the financial responsibility.
Sure get away from him, but make sure he pays child support.
Like THATS gonna happen pay for something but get nothing back, yeah um not gonna happen!
Sorry to hear that, if you think it's for the best, then yeah, stay clear of him. For what he said, abortion is completely up to you! Your body.
Yes. You should focus on yourself and your baby, and you should block him.
Or maybe just ghost him, but don't block? In case he wants to apologize.
That’s why I’m single but don’t get rid of the baby it’s not the baby’s fault I would keep it but it’s your chiice
That poor kid...
Keep the baby
It’s evil otherwise
sound like the baby put the fear in his ass.
Focus on yourself, get a new boyfriend
Wow he an asshole
Maybe she was the same to him and that's why he's leaving.
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