I had a 22-year marriage that ended in divorce, would you consider that a successful relationship or failure? (Page 2)
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You were very patient with that woman. What made you stay so long in that marriage?
I knew she would keep the kids from me in divorce and use them as a weapon. Which she did anyway, but they were 25 and 17 by then. We owned a lot of assets as well... like over 1 million in property. It took a superhuman level of patience, something I never would think myself capable of, and I worked super hard to make it work, more then I should of, more then she deserved... but I guess I did more for myself and the kids, but I learned so much about myself in that process... that's the measure of success for me. The women, well she was a failure.
That woman is evil. Believe that whole I got pregnant by accident story I don't believe it at all. Your Ex got pregnant on purpose to trap you. She is obsessed with you. She used the whole pregnancy thing to forced you to marry her. That was evil and selfish of her. I can't believe she would take YOUR! properties and your accomplishments that you WORK HARD FOR. That woman is evil just plain evil. It is no wonder guys are so tired and fed up with this whole bunch of bologna stuff. She's the one that should be paying child support for the 17 year old at that time since she cheated NOT You !
@Alwayreckles93 I personally believe she sits at the right hand of the devil... but these are things that people don't talk about when they push for gender quality. Marriage is legal contact; it has nothing to do with love. All those vows you swear at the alter under God, have no meaning in the court of law. She never gave up a dollar to pay for anything, but she gets half of everything, that's the law... that's what you give up when you sign that marriage license... 50% of your property rights are gone. And I signed that when I 20 years old and owned nothing. Wasn't even a concern to me at the time. So be careful when you start talking about marriage, when you are the primary wage earner in your famliy.
Your marriage lasted over 20 years. That is a great success. Life is a learning experience. If you learned from being in a marriage and also when you divorced then that is a triple success.
Hell, yeah!!!
I think it is successful. Sometimes people grow apart and have no desire to work the details out to keep it together (for whatever reason). 20+ years is an achievement.
Agreed, thank you!
I'd say it depends on how it ended. If it's a mutual understanding that there's no more love then i see the relationship as a success. If the pair fought to make it work, I'd say it was successful. If the split is bitter and the pair fight for the sake of fighting I'd say no. But 22 years is a long time to be with someone. A lot of change and growth for everyone involved. In general longevity is a success.
You said she cheated on you, I would not say that is a failure on your part. She may have been looking to others a lot longer than you know, just took that long for it to come out in the open.
I'm sorry for things going badly for you, but in the end, if she cheated on you, the only way you would be a failure would be by allowing it to continue.
Well 22 years is a long time and that will always be part of your life, and her life, and I don't know if there are kids from the marriage but if so that may be something to be grateful for. I have never been married so this is easy for me to say but, I would hope when I do get married that it is for the rest of my life. I am not sure how to answer the question I think it's mainly about perception. JMO!
It depends on why the marriage ended but some people say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Not verbatim.
I do think I am better off with the life experience, and without the women in my life today... but I do not judge the entirety of the marriage on how it ended.
Well that is a very sad thing. Comparably its a long time but why did she divorce after that long time? Now you lost 22 years of memories and have to find a new woman,.
Nah... I have all the memories. The marriage was toxic, and the divorce was mutual let's say that.
He will always have the memories. You can't lose those with divorce.
Yes but he can't any longer say 'do you remeber honey when we were in the hotel in Kairo?'
@standardguy So true, but I still remember how good that day was back in Kairo... and today I have no desire to want to say anything to her. But for that day and that moment I would not give it up the memory.
Okay. At least my memories exist.
Not a failure.
Marriage doesn't have a box to check for success or failure. It doesn't have a set of criteria that if you meet them its success and if not failure.
who initiated you or her? only curious. but to get to ur answer. now in days its successful
She did, but not really. I spent a year, due to our assets, getting the finances in order so it would be easy to divide. Once I got things where I felt good about it, I told her I am cutting her money in half... because she has a master's degree and not working and our youngest kid at that point was 16. So, they don't need a stay-at-home mom. Once I cut the money in half, I knew she would file, and she did. So, you can say I initiated it, but she filed first.
holly molly lol.
Sorry but the deal is till death us do part. It is a fail.
I can't agree with this, but I appreciate your perceptive. I can find happiness without death.
I know what you mean. Nobody expects to have to die to get out of a bad relationship.
I think it's a win if it ended on good terms and she didn't make you hate her...
There were plenty of wins along the way, but it did not end well.
It was successful. Did you ever have any children? It’s a shame that it ended
2 kids, 25 and 18.
Cool
I find it annoying that some people just get married for the sake of having children.
most people want the total package
if the kids turned out great, then success but only just. 22 years is a long time, sorry you went through that.
Yeah, unfortunately my ex was a master manipulator and emotional bully. I did not realize the toll it took on my kids, I was blind to a lot of it... so that was a huge failure on my part. It was not until after divorce that I learn of the true deeps of despair my kids endured at her hands.
I voted failure but hey you got two kids raised to adulthood so well done
Thanks!
either you were happy with it, or not... that's for you to decide
Yes it’s hard to maintain a relationship for that long, I wish to applaud you. However is it unfixable if y’all just put your pride aside? Because you must really love eachother to be together for so long
Nope, tired of compensating for mental health issues, blame shifting, codependent behaviors, and blaintant denials of fact, or willingness to get therapy.
It depends on the quality of the relationship, not the length.
Gotta keep them wives off the got dang interwebs. Givin em all dem ideas bout thangs bein good on the other side!
sorta joking 😂 but Fr tiktok is toxic. I don’t know your whole story but let’s assume you’re a good hardworking guy who provided a nice enough life for your wife… all this girl power stuff puts messed up ideas in her head that there’s more. It’s silly and destroys lives unfortunately.
Well. It failed