22 years is a long time so I would say both , it’s sad to hear that it ended after all
That time giving your heart to someone that choose selfishness over fixing the marriage is a hard pill to swallow, it’s sad that people can easily choose selfishness over what they have right in front of them, the fact that she cheated on you just shows how selfish she is , whether you both had disagreements and butting heads on things you fix it that’s what marriage is all about being by each other’s side no matter what obstacles come
Your way , you don’t commit to be single it should be you and your partner vs the world , it won’t always be perfect but you prioritize each other and accept each others flaws , When people choose the selfish route they will never experience true love because they only love themselves and think someone else is going to save them , they can’t accept the fact that they are wrong , unless you beat her up and controlled her she really had no right to walk away , so the fact that she cheated on you just shows what kind of person she really is and sadly she will regret what she did to you , when she finally realizes how selfish she is. As for You bro focus on yourself don’t blame yourself for her actions , cheating is a selfish choice so realize you did nothing wrong it was her choice to be selfish so be the best version of you , realize you deserve better than that , My ex wife cheated on me as well , I was married to her for 14 years , I gave my heart to her , we had our ups and downs but I always stood by her side and tried fixing it , she is the mother of my children I will always love her for that but , she totally changed on me and turned completely selfish , i would blame myself that maybe I am not a good husband , maybe I am not a good provider , no matter what I did for her it wasn’t good enough until I realized it wasn’t me it was her thinking grass is greener on the other side , the guy she cheated on me with kicked her to the curb as well he just wanted his dick wet , but girl’s don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, Most girl’s do not know how to remove selfishness for their men because they always want something better in their minds and they allow themselves to be brainwashed by toxic friends that are jealous of what she has and tell her she deserves better girl’s fill their heads with shit they see on the internet and lifetime movies comparing the man she promised to be with until death do us part to another guy that she feels has better status she becomes blind to the man she already has , because this other guy is telling her everything she wants to hear not realizing all he wants to do is bang her , so let him have her because he will not stay with her , no guy is going to commit to a girl that cheats on her husband , he will use her like the whore she is , when he kicks her to the curb she will try coming back to you , don’t take her back , make her suffer because you are teaching her to remove selfishness for the next man she falls for but all in all bro it’s not your problem anymore , Realize you deserve someone that won’t leave your side that values you like
You value them someone that will resist temptations for you like you do for them , Hang in there bro
Obviously it’s both, to a remarkable degree. The details would suggest one more than the other.
What’s most important, in my mind, is your willingness and ability to recognize your own contributions to both the successes and the failures from beginning to end.
Too many people are too comfortable accepting credit for their successes and accepting no accountability for their failures. They are usually easy to detect for the trained eyes and mind.
You don't have to put marriage in the rubric of success or failure. Think if you are being successful or not as a person. You may have a 'successful' marriage in terms of longevity if you're married for 40 years with someone who makes you absolutely miserable, which means you are actually failing in your life and if you have the guts to exit that marriage by stepping out of your comfort zone, that's a success in my book! If you had lessons and takeaways from this marriage it's certainly not a failure at all.
I consider it a total success. Look at all the stupid shit you read on this site? Why didn't he text, what does it mean... blah blah...
You got in the game. Good for you. You cowboyed-up and did your best.
When the time is right, get back in the saddle. There are tons of women out there just waiting. I know it sucks, but you need to move on.
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After 22 years I would assume there were many successes and failures during that time. Whether you stay together or not is irrevelant because staying for the sake of staying married does not automatically assume success in the end. Take the wins take the losses and move on right.
I don't think age denotes success.
I'd consider a POW of 22 years that gets out and lives life to the fullest and values their freedom, a success.
It may not have been success if there's a wake of damage behind you and chaos, but if you can turn that into "stability and goodness", then that is success. E. x. my wife's prior marriage blew up but she did the painful and hard work to keep the family unit healthy. That's a success as the kids reap the rewards, there's peace and prosperity for all. Women generally have that power to make the family or break it and not everyone is so considerate. Hopefully you were fortunate or can contribute to making it so for the sake of the kids.
The success would be for you to decide, in life was lived, what wisdom and value gained. If you learned some important lessons that a college degree couldn't have afforded you, if you grew as a person and from it have "new life" and opportunities, then that's successful... potential!
The only real question is what now and what's next.
This is like asking, "do you think I'm smart?" How do I determine that exactly if I don't know anything about you, or in this case, why and how the relationship ended. There is a vast difference between a relationship you worked really hard at to sustain where you truly loved the other person all the way up until they did something like cheat or fell out of love with you of their own accord, and one in which you did absolutely everything to destroy it and this was a reap what you sew end game situation. I'm reading a lot of hand clap that you made it that long comments, but if you were absolutely miserable for most of it, is that worthy of a hand clap because length of a marriage alone is not enough to say it was happy or successful because plenty of people stay way too long in awful situations and no one is shocked when they finally sign the papers. So basically, I can't determine a good answer for this without actual information and even then, it would be one sided.
How is 22 years a failure? I was married 20 years 4 month and 6 days. I have 3 amazing sons and a ton of wonderful memories. I knew when I married her it was likely to end in divorce. Her mom was divorced and she learned from her mother at an early age that you don't fight for your marriage, you just leave. I had hopes we would make it, but I wasn't surprised when she bailed. I would never have asked for a divorce... ever..
In my opinion I can't say things were a waste unless it was always toxic. For me personally, in my current relationship I had 9 fantastic years before stuff started causing frequent problems. What you did lose and could be partially at blame for is the years you recognized there was a problem but continued, otherwise I can't say it was a failure.
If your vows were to love each other until "death do you part" then you failed.
Anyone who makes it to marriage is a success in my book, irregardless of how it turns out. And the fact that your marriage lasted longer than 5-10 years is even more amazing
Our religion doesn't believe in divorces which is why I'm sceptical about marriage but I don't think u should ever give up on ur other half,, otherwise there's no hope for anyone, in a way I'm actually kinda glad tht we don't believe in tht because I would always be terrified of upsetting him and him leaving me,, there has been times when someone remarried if the partner died but usually not emediantly and often they just stay a loner
Depends on what your goal was while in the relationship. If your goal was to have children/babies and you did that, then it was successful (at least in my opinion). If your goal was to find a LIFE PARTNER, then no, I'm sorry, but it wasn't. Life partners are with you till death, sickness and in health, broke or rich, like literally. If your goal was to find love, well, maybe you DID find it, but for some reason, someone wanted out, or changed their mind (happens too often obviously). I'd still consider that a succesful one in terms of that, but yeah, like I said, it really depends on how you look at it. If the marriage/relationship resulted in an incurable std/sti, well then...
This life, this time, your time, it's yours. If you thought the risk was worth it, then...
its quite sad how americans think a marriage that lasted only 22 years is a good thing. it comes to show that americans no longer see marriage as "forever lasting" but rather as temporary.
s Depends on why the relationship ended. If you or your partner were cheating throughout the marriage, or if neither of you were happy but only staying together because of children, then I wouldn’t consider that successful.
Respectfully, who cares what we would consider it. Plus, who says it’s one or the other? You could easily argue either way, and to label it either way would likely be based on comparison with the other marriages, and that kind of comparison is never a good thing.
Move on and continue your life.
Not if you were happy for the most part.
Even if you were, you can always learn something from a bad experience that can help you out in life in general.
The vows were "Until Death Do Us Part" and you gave it a shot but in the end it was a failure.
As marriage is till death do us part, your divorce would categorically be labeled as a failure.
No one's keeping score. It was a part of your life. Probably there was some good and some not so good.
Obviously a failure. Moreso than if it lasted a month.
Why stay with the wrong person that long and waste 22 years of your life? That time could have been spent with the right person.
It may have been very successful. That is enough time to have children and raise them to adulthood. After that, it may not matter.
A success that turned into a lesson to reflect upon. Or a fail that could have resolved way sooner.
I say both. It was a successful relationship that ended in failure.
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