Does a man lose self respect when he keeps contacting his ex and being needy?

[Anonymous]

Im M (18) and i my girlfriend currently breakup with me i am asking for a proper breakup through communicating personally, we had a conversation last Saturday but she mentions that her past ex contacted her. She said that her past ex just wants to clear up things with her, so immediately got turn off and walk back home. I message her through messenger and im asking for proper break up to as her new ex boyfriend, i asked to block her past ex because we're just new in breaking relationship and she blocked him. I asked if she doesn't have self respect to me because past week she didn't properly discuss our breakup. Now, i constantly messaging her i always got ignored but she reply for too long. I want her to apologize to me for what she did wrong, she said she has some plan to apologize. I am overthinking so much i keep constantly messaging her. Does it mean i don't have self respect? And if yes, how'd i get my self respect back? Thank you

[Guy13]

It’s possible. It’s also possible that she and others start to lose respect for him.

[Kamiljan1995]

If she broke up with you and then suddenly tells you her ex is contacting her and wants to clear things up then she’s still hung up on him. Also yes constantly contacting her makes you look desperate and honestly is only pushing her away.

To get self respect back you should tell her you’re not interested in being a second choice and stop talking to her. Even if your constant neediness somehow works in bringing her back, she will know that you’ll wait around for her so she won’t truly respect you. Like she doesn’t respect you right now.

Imagine that your friend is going through the exact same situation and asks you for advice, put yourself in a third party perspective and look at all the details without your emotions clouding your judgment. Once you do that you’ll be able to stop making these mistakes.

There’s plenty girls out there that are great so there’s plenty choice. You deserve one that chooses you and not her ex.

[Asker]

By clearing things up i mean her old ex told her that he is sorry for what he had been done to her, she also alresdy blocked her old ex. My plans are to get my respect back and maybe get her to comeback with me (if possible) but thank you for your reply bro much appreciated!!!

[Asker]

I think you misunderstood what i meant by "clearing things up".

[Kamiljan1995]

Yeah that does make more sense now.
My point still stands, you gotta distance yourself from her so she can see how much better life was with you. It’s gonna be tough at first and the anxiety will be making your stomach twist. it does get easier with time and the emotions are not as intense. Work on yourself, show her how much improved and do things for yourself and not someone else because if you only do it for her, if she doesn’t come back you’ll hit another low.

Good luck, stay strong 👊

[Asker]

CAN i message you bro?

[Kamiljan1995]

Yeah go for it