Have you ever fallen out of love? Has someone ever fallen out of love with you?

[TrueConfection]

What happened next?

Updates

1 y

Love is like a pair of blue jeans. The older they get, the more relaxed and comfortable they become. Occasionally they get soiled and need a fresh wash to make them appear new again. As those cycles of soiling and cleansing happen, over time the color that was once vibrant has faded and the fibers become worn until a hole appears. So, the choice is to patch the holes or replace the jeans.

[Sunssong]

@TrueConfection You don't fall out of love. It's something you let happen.

For example, when you are trying to get over someone what do you do?
You try to stop thinking about them. And if you find something to actually dominant your attention... You feel fine. That's why you feel fine when you sleep too because your consciousness is off.

Well... that's the same way you fell in love with them. You started thinking about them in favorable ways and got emotionally involved. People don't far out of love, they let it happen because they don't understand.

Same thing with confidence. You don't feel confident because you look good today... You feel confident because you finally gave yourself permission to feel confident. Love is something you feel. You can choose to build ideas in your head and get emotionally involved with them if you want.

Why do people take things for granted? Because they aren't emotionally involved with the idea of that thing.

People cheat because they dont love the person they are with. When they cheat they are getting emotionally involved with cheating and if they have done it before they may not even need that. If you were truly in love and feeling love you wouldn't do that. But when they cheat they aren't feeling love. It's more deep but I can teach anyone how to stop cheating. Pretty much overnight too.

Why do you think people watch motivational videos on YouTube before doing something or listen to music when they work out. It's all chemically driven.

I can go on about this for hours. I even have built a whole philosophy on love and it is pretty sound and tested.

[TrueConfection]

Sounds like you have it all figured out. I'll take your word for it.

[ArrowheadSW]

Most relationships are temporary. So, yes, that has certainly happened to me. I think probably most people over a certain age have had that happen.

[TrueConfection]

Good point!

[Rosexøxø]

Yes, I have… it’s the actual act of losing passions, and emotions- dying.

At first, you feel the friction; the pain, and then those go numb. Like when our physical nerves burn in fire 🔥, or get frozen in the blistering cold. ❄️ It hurts at first, until nothing is felt, at all because they die. 🧬

Do they regenerate? Sometimes. It’s not likely, and so it’s good in the aspect of: falling out of love with someone who was actually bad for you- it means you cannot continue to be tricked by them because you’d have no emotions to work with or manipulate and abuse- those emotions for them are all gone. Faded. Passed.

The thing to be mindful of is: to still be passionate about LIFE ✨, and living, and one’s self and family, so that you don’t lose passion for all other possible suitors because of categorizing them all as the person we had fell out of love with.

No, not all in the human entirety, manipulate, and not all wish to hurt us.

I say “not all,” but just because I said it doesn’t mean these numbers of ‘good people’ run largely or are even common.. no, they’re certainly aren’t.

[Rosexøxø]

I did fall out of love with him. His actions made sure of that and subconsciously I think he went on about it and my confrontations, so he wouldn’t have to feel like a bad person.

He probably saw it in his mind as:

“Once she calms down… she’ll move on and she won’t hate me, and I can continue on, then.”

I wanted to hate him. I still felt powerful emotions and when I was feeling the pain they were coming out as rage instead of love because he and I were connected in some way.

When the emotions died, I didn’t care about him like before. Only cared about him as a weak human who’d die one day- I wish all people in THAT sense the best because of that fact.

Maybe a blessing in disguise. How many people get hurt and stay mad at someone even after they’re broken up? How many stay missing someone even after things being over?

Those emotions are still alive and only be “put to rest.” With time and us finding stronger and happier emotions in other things and another someone. When that happens we are able to eventually forget mentally, and learn we are and can be happy without those people we once gave significance to.

So which is better? (I may make a question on this)

Forgetting about a one time lover?

Or dying emotionally and falling out of love with them?

I hated him so much and felt helpless at that time though I’m better now and realize he can no longer control any part of me. Almost like I have built an immunity.

Although I admit I have viewed others differently in the sidelines because of that situation.

I don’t know if I would wish the same for others to be put through. At least it felt quicker and more obvious.

When we break up sometimes we think they’re still thinking about us- our imagination plays with us

[Rosexøxø]

But when you die to those emotions and sit and take it you know beyond all negotiation- they WILL NEVER love you back.

It’s making peace with a truth.

The love we had for them dies. But we don’t.

We don’t have to and we won’t.

I think I prefer the dying to emotions with that person.

It was a risk when we talked to them and let ourselves start feeling just about anything for them to begin with. It means you can either have self control to separate yourself and get away from them moving on, or letting it die.

[Rosexøxø]

The thing is.. letting it die means you let it grow…

And that means it’s a bigger thing that has to be addressed. I’d hope people could close a person off/ shit a relationship down at the start when they see it’s not being reciprocated or seeing those first signs of disrespect/ red flags

Because you can’t give them more of you that they don’t deserve when you feel it so strongly for them.

Once you disassociate at the start it’s easier to get away. If the person is truly in love and have time on the shelf/ table too, then letting the emotions die seems like the only thing one can do.

It’s a painful process like a bandaid but at least it guarantees growing without the infection inside your skin.

[Rosexøxø]

Oh wow just read the update and you meant it in a positive way.

I meant it in a way I was lied to and not loved by someone I was deeply in love with.

I HAD to fall out of love with him.

Falling out of love with a good person because of boredom or trials is obviously like your Jeans analogy expresses.

You either solve it and say it’s of value and worth the repair, or buy a new one saying the old pair wasn’t worth the efforts to preserve it.

Life tests us, so it’s tests the bonds of the things we love and such, we either preserve what means most to us, or we keep going to new and different things to satisfy us.

Like farmers who fatten and kill cows to eat and a new one each time to live

Or preserving a chicken and living off the eggs it produces or the cow and living off milk it produces.

It can seem harsh, to move on but we have to decide if that’s who we are as a person,

OR

if we wish to give value to things and try to take care of what’s entrusted to us for as long as it can go.

I think it ultimately rests upon our decisions and those decisions rest upon how we actually VIEW those relationships.

How are we gonna move forward?
How do we value it?

[TrueConfection]

Yes, it has a lot to do with what we value. I'm sorry you were hurt. You sound wise to know the difference between being loved and being taken for granted. Sometimes people just change. Well, we all change as the decades go by. We all grow and by default are not the same as we were 10 years ago. When you get to be my age, those decades go by quickly and it's possible that the person waking up next to you is no longer in love with you or perhaps they just aren't the same person you were in love with. You could have been in love with them for many years... Change takes time.

[exitseven]

@Rosexøxø even somebody as old and cynical as me had to wipe away a tear after I read this.

[Rosexøxø]

@exitseven you displayed more humanity than he ever did. I appreciate that tear more than you'll ever know. Many thanks, @exitseven

-rose

[exitseven]

😎😎😎😎

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep.

My ex-fiance.

But while he loved me, he loved me fiercely.

You’ll listen to our story and you’ll want to see a movie about it.

It’s a perfect story about the love many women dream about.

I lived a fairytale for too long.

That was beautiful. His love to me was heart-melting and innocent.

If I die, I’ll be happy I’ve loved and I was loved back with a matching intensity.

But everything ends in the end.

And there’s nothing wrong with, that’s just how it works, either they die, you die, they leave or you leave.

I am happy he is somewhere out there and I hope he is living a wonderful life.

Yes, he fell out if love with me. But I don’t blame, while he loved, he made me live in a paradise. That’s why it hurt so much when he stopped loving me.

[TrueConfection]

I'm sorry that happened. You have a positive attitude about being grateful for the love you had.

[Rosexøxø]

I enjoyed reading this. It was somewhat therapeutic, but at your expense, and that I do apologize for, that it wasn’t just imagined and made up.

I’m thankful you experienced paradise on earth and loved to tell us a bit of that one tale.

Please do not hesitate to share many amazing stories and stories that offer lessons woven in between.

✨💯✨💯

[Paris13]

With My Ex, Sort Of... When I ended Our Relationship. xx

[TrueConfection]

That's so hard. You're a strong person Paris!

[Paris13]

@TrueConfection Thank You, sweetheart. Hardest thing I EVER had to Do in my Life. xxoo

[TrueConfection]

😘 🤗

[Paris13]

Hugggggs. xxoo

[Guy13]

Ebb and Flow…Commitment survives. What’s your priority…Lust or Relationship

[Akam93]

@Guy13 I need to talk to you please.

[TrueConfection]

I don't follow you. What does the choice between lust or relationship have to do with being in love? You can have either or both of those without love.

[WolfBaneHunter78]

@TrueConfection - seriously? Lust is a fleeting emotion. Once you have satisified your lust it means nothing. A committment has its ups and downs. If you can stick the route then you have a relationship. If you can't then all you have is lust.

[TrueConfection]

@WolfBaneHunter78 Thank you for explaining the differences between lust, relationships, and commitment. None of those are love.

[WolfBaneHunter78]

@TrueConfection - ROFL. If you LOVE someone you would be in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP regardless of the ups & downs, high and lows. WHAT do you think love is?

[TrueConfection]

@WolfBaneHunter78 You can be in a committed relationship without love and you can love someone without having the committed relationship. They are not the same thing.

[WolfBaneHunter78]

@TrueConfection - both of which you describe is a farce.

[TrueConfection]

@WolfBaneHunter78 Ever heard of an arranged marriage?

[WolfBaneHunter78]

@TrueConfection - Have you ever talked to people in arranged marriages? I highly doubt it. Depending on the culture it can become love or it stays a farce. A farce marriage.

[Rosexøxø]

@TrueConfection I agree with you. I saw their points and they made valid statements, but the truth is just they are not all synonymous or equal and just because that is doesn’t mean love itself is any less in value than relationship.

Love is a passion and there are Long term relationships (basic/mundane/ maybe polite/ and still consistent, which some appreciate)

And then there are Long term PASSIONATE relationships.

A person can have either or in this life.

[Guy13]

I don’t wNt to get in deep with you but you do not understand love or relationship. There’s 3 and some say for kind of loves in the original Greek. You need to look these up to understand love. AGAPE, EROS, STORGE, PHILIA. Rough shot: Servant-Leader love. Sexual, Lust love. Family unconditional love. Friendship love.
Heterosexual Relationship should contain Agape, Eros, Philia, and Storge.

[Rosexøxø]

Guy 13

I appreciate these terms.

I’m not disagreeing with you or calling them anything bad.

They also prove that they are all not the same, just as:

Relationship
Consistent Relationship
Passionate Relationship
Sexual Relationship
Lustful Relationship
(Pre-) Arranged Relationship
Randomized Relationship
Friendly Relationship
Acquaintance Relationship

Are all different*

[TrueConfection]

@guy13 I don't want to get in deep with you either. I'm glad you responded with an explanation of what you meant. I usually like what you have to say. I wasn't trying to have an argument with you about, "What is love?". Anyhow, thank you for responding.

[fibs4kt]

i’ve had people fall out of love with me before and either cheat on me or just leave me. but they never left by telling me straight up they lost feelings, i had to overthink every time and it’d be when i couldn’t take the stress of thinking that i’d ask and they’d confess that they’ve been dragging me along for weeks

but my last relationship that ended Monday, the best relationship i had and someone i still love and want to be with again, she left me because she fell out of love. but she did something different that i respect. she was straight up with me and told me she was losing feelings, she didn’t drag me on

our story is a crazy story, it’s not a long story time-wise, but it’s a long story with the amount of details i can include. but the reason i lost her was because i was overthinking about our future since we’re a LDR due to me moving from state to state every year. and with her maybe not being able to call me and us stay in touch, i worried too much and let everything get to me personally so the energy i had changed. she had even told me but i didn’t think of it at the time, but i realize it now and it’s late, but i’m working on myself and she’s still in my life but claims she doesn’t give second chances. but knowing her, it’s a 50/50 chance

she fell out of love with me, but still cares about me. she told me last night that she tries to act like a “b-word” (she said it herself) cause she doesn’t want to read my sweet msgs and cry because of how she feels bad for leaving me and she doesn’t want to remember how good of a guy i am. i don’t know if she still loves me because she said she doesn’t, but it seems to me like she has mixed feelings. she’s a sensitive person, she has mood swings, and she claims to be bipolar. i personally love everything about her; her sensitivity the most. i also love her mood swings because although they can be difficult to deal with, they show how genuine she is and how human she is (maybe i just love her too much)

but yeah, i think i spoke too much and maybe didn’t answer the question right. but i’ve had people fall out of love with me and i’ve always been the one to still love them and want them in my life. i’ve gotten over every ex in my life, some were harder than others. but this current relationship i just got out of and want to have a second run with is my favorite and the hardest to get over

so many memories created. so many movies watched together at night, so many laughs shared, so many random conversations that only we’d have with each other, me helping her realize her life is valuable and she shouldn’t try to end it, me talking to her while she cried because she felt bad for being mad at me all day (she was on her monthly cycle and her mood swings make it worse). just so many things i remember

i even wrote down every movie we’ve watched, and i remember the ones i didn’t write down. from the first ever “texas chainsaw massacre”, to “the nun”, to “bad trip”. so many movies watched, songs listened together, these things are things i never did with anyone else

[TrueConfection]

17 is so young for so many experiences! I think a lack of maturity on their part would explain why those girls moved on without saying anything.

Breakups are very had for everyone. I'm sorry it didn't work out with this girl. A wise woman once told her son, "There is not just one fish in the sea, but many."

[fibs4kt]

yeah, sadly i’ve experienced a lot. but i’m thankful i learned from each experience

breakups are hard, hardest thing i’ve gone through so far. i like that saying. it’s true

[sawno]

For me it happens after the fact, but it also happened in my first relationships where I was still learning and discovering. Its when you realize trough more experience in life what you really love, and that by comparison you no longer love them. Usually in those cases contact is just not a thing anymore, neither is there an interest for contact.

But my last relationship was entirely different, that was my first relationship after I had that shift where I could only love someone again if I truly deeply loved her for who she was, and was no longer able to do it by just being love blind.

As a result that love has never gone away on my side despite us no longer being together. In fact, it has grown further since. We ended on an "I love you" so that also is very telling. We shared immense love and separated due to reasons beyond our direct control. I do not think this is a love that will ever go away on either side, she has a special place in my heart.

So in this case it set me on a journey on improving myself as much as I can and she (indirectly) motivates me every day to keep striving to hit my goals. If there is ever a chance of us making it work in the future I want to be ready for it.

[TrueConfection]

It sounds like a healthy relationship. I hope it does work out!

[DizzyDesii]

Yes. I tried to be open and tell him that things had changed too much and that it was making me fall out of love. Instead of hearing me out and trying to improve things, he got super offended. So we supposedly both put in more effort with the date nights and stuff and worked trying to fix us. After a month, we were seemingly back on track. Then this mf tells me “Actually, now i dont think im as in love with you anymore”. His punkass ego couldnt handle my previous constructive criticism (that i made sure to deliver as nice as possible). He just haaaad to “even the score/get me back/get revenge/boost his ego”. We broke up 6 months after that. I gave that stupidass mf a real good cussin out once we were finally over for good and told him what i truly thought of him during those last few months when i gave my all and he was being a pos. He wanted to go low, so i went even lower

[DizzyDesii]

He didn't talk to me for 2 years after that. Then randomly has his sis call me last year pretending to be an old coworker. I played nice and went along with her bullshit story. I shouldve said YOU MOTHAFCKAZ MUST THINK I’M DUMB? I KNOW WHO THIS IS

[DizzyDesii]

I’m a respectful girlfriend but i am a horrible toxic ex. I will make a mf feel like trash if they ever try to cross me again

[TrueConfection]

That's a hard breakup. I think you deserve so much better than that guy D!

[DizzyDesii]

Thats what makes it the second greatest breakup (of my breakups) of all time. Because i dated much better dudes after him

[Lliam]

That was a really poetic analogy.

I've fallen out of infatuation but not out of love.

Infatuation is the feeling we associate with love. It's intense and amazing. But it wears off.

I've only been deeply in love twice.
There is my wonderful wife.
And there was a girlfriend that I lived with for over a year when I was 37. We had to separate but l never stopped loving her. She connected with me on Facebook 20 years later and I was really happy to be in touch and to know that she was happy. But five years later I read that she died from a sudden medical problem at age 55. I was devastated. I will never stop loving her and will never forget her.

[TrueConfection]

You're a good man Lliam.

[exitseven]

I had a relationship with someone for 4 years, 3 of them were long distance. She lived 1509 miles away in a time when there no email or cell phones. The relationship was serious enough that we would talk about marriage.

The last time I saw her I went by plane. When she met me at the Airport she was wearing a dark blue hoodie that was covered in dirt and she had her hair in some weird perm and it was combed over to one side. She told me that she almost forgot to pick me up at the airport. And just like that suddenly I saw her as maybe she really was. As it was she put very little effort into our relationship. I spent a month in the hospital once and she couldn't even bother to send me a get well card. I tried not to think about it but as the week went by my doubts just got bigger.

4 or 5 months later I called her on the phone and broke up with her. I don't think she was really that broken up about it

[TrueConfection]

I'm sorry to hear that X7. I'll bet she regrets losing you.

[exitseven]

I really do not know what happened to her. Fortunately I met the person I was supposed to be with a year later.

[TrueConfection]

A happy ending ☺

[exitseven]

Yes, it really was.

[On_cloud_wine]

I fell out of love.. what happened next? I lost all interest and motivation to stalk his social media or who else he was trying to talk to and instead prayed for him that he would find someone perfect that will make him happy someday. It’s like a beautiful relief.

now, the fact that I got over him made me think he wasn’t the one for me because I believe if he was my soulmate, I’d never get over him.

[TrueConfection]

Yes, falling out of love isn't easy and it does make a person analyze their own emotional growth.

[OfMiceandMen]

I haven't fallen out of love, and hope she never fell out of love with me, but I lost my one true love about a decade ago. She will be in my heart till the day I die. All I have are photos of her to remind me of the way we were. I can only look up, smile, touch my fingers to my lips, raise them to her and thank her for giving me our daughter, who is a true likeness to her.

[TrueConfection]

That's truly beautiful. ❤
I'm sorry for your loss.

[molonski2]

I'm not sure its a case of falling out of love , I think at times its a case of " reality bites " may start as a small thing , then you realise you've made an horrendous mistake.

On part B , well they must have because there has been a few leave over the years , but maybe the same reasoning as A.

[TrueConfection]

"Reality bites," is a great way to sum it all up.

[molonski2]

I think rather sadly it is , we all tend to seek this fantasy individual , " Reality Bites " is genuinely what you see over time , he/ she was not the guru you thought.

[Anemone978]

I don't think anyone ever falls out of love if it was real love... I think they just get lazy or tired of trying to work on the relationship... As for me I don't think it was romantic love I felt for my partner it was like platonic love... So I still care about him and get along with him, it just isn't the love I really want to go my whole life with...

[Anemone978]

But at this point I think he is who I am gonna end up with because I can't seem to find that perfect partner...

[TrueConfection]

It sounds like you live him, but maybe not IN love. Don't settle, the best will show up!

[SnowedIn]

It's happened before, yes. In those cases we weren't in long term (like live together, married sort of) relationship. We made the decision to end being a couple.

I cannot speak to the question from a married perspective.

I do believe that love can be somewhat tidal for what that's worth.

[TrueConfection]

Tidal is a good word!

[SnowedIn]

Regarding your update: what glorious writing and what haunting images, exquisite in their beauty. It's walking on frozen ice... 😥

[TrueConfection]

I wonder how deep the water is below the ice.

Thank you for the compliments.

[SnowedIn]

The depth of water is not the only unknown... there's water temperature and sharks and eels to worry about...

[opheeowlscout]

I fell out of love with an ex of mine. I told him I wasn't comfortable with sex and was questioning if I was asexual and he broke things off with me. So when he begged for me back? I didn't feel for him anymore. He broke that trust I had for him. Ever since, I tend to fall out of love whenever a man is very pushy abot sex.

[TrueConfection]

Trust your gut!

[Anonymous]

i rarely fall out of love with people, it's always them falling out of love with me.. like the time where my friend really liked me then when i liked him back he fell out of love with me after a week. even though he loved me for longer it feels like he has already gotten over me, while im over here still suffering from the heartbreak..

[TrueConfection]

I'm sorry.

[Opinion Owner]

its okay, i'll get over him soon enough

[Anonymous]

Yes to both it sucks, especially when you know they’re looking for their next partner before either of you even admit it. I must of got the wrong end of the stick, I thought when a relationship goes stale or has problems you try to fix it and make a grand gesture to show them you still love them to reignite the spark not go out bond with new female and male friends by slagging off your partner and finding a new spark with one of them.

[Kamiljan1995]

I know how you feel. People suck and when things get tough they bail. Forgetting about all those times you were there for them

[TrueConfection]

I don't think you got it wrong at all, but sadly some things can't be fixed.

[Kreneman]

I was in love with my friend with benefits and then I learned how to fall out of love with her because I was motivated to founding the one, which I did and now I am engaged with the love of my life.

[TrueConfection]

I love a happy ending!!! Congratulations on finding her and on your engagement!

[Kreneman]

Thank you 😊

[ChillaxingLove]

Yes I’ve fallen out of love before once. But I didn’t think it was possible for someone to do so. I stopped talking to them. Then next step is deleting their number, that’s ganna be hard.

[TrueConfection]

Yes, that would be hard.

[Saarr]

Yes I have, I expressed my feelings and broke up with them. I kind of broke their heart since they were still in love with me, but the love had been fading out on my side for a while...

[TrueConfection]

That was very brave of you and actually the kind thing to do.

[Freyke]

Yes to both. Well, she was all smiles in public but a horrible human being behind closed doors. And in the other case, a girl really liked me and I didn't like her back so I had to make clear it wasn't going to work.

[TrueConfection]

Darn the masked kind!

[Anonymous]

I can't really say it's falling out of love but it's him showing a side that told me what I fall in love with in first place is mostly an illusion to trick out of me what he wanted from me, naturally I broke up soon after the realization.

[TrueConfection]

Good call!