Of course. I have some that i will always love. But that don't mean my feelings for the others were fake. Love is an emotion that is built through affection and interaction and can be got rid of by the exact opposite. I do feel like though it would be weird if everything was going good and there was still affection and interaction then they just wake up one day not in love with you lol. But why love fades is when people distance themselves and stop affection not because everything was going great. There is also different tiers of love and are personal differences on it. Like a love for a pet completely different to a love of a person. But it's still love and that love for that pet will never go away most likely but that person easy could because well they could cheat on you. But it's not to say that your feelings of love at that time before the cheating wasn't real it was as real as it was for the pet even if it feels different but that's why there is different types and tiers of love.
Then there is love when you still love someone from your past even though you don't interact or show affection no more with them. Which yes you can call true love if you want, But it's just another type/tier. To say they wasn't is just saying well i was sad but now i ain't so that sad emotion i felt wasn't real lmao.
But do remember there is a different between love and lust. If they just had lust then yeah that wasn't love. Love tends to mature after lust. It's very good idea to know the difference. There is also limerance, obsessive kinda which is really tricky to deal with. basically just Lust but can last up to 3 years. It's a very serious mental issue that i myself have dealt with. But tbh it helped me oddly. It made me recognize when i am just lust or if it's love. And lucky my longest limerance for someone was only 8 months so not to long unlike 3 years.
A person CAN love someone, but eventually fall out of love if they are justified in it. Like, breaking up and moving on with your life. It doesn't mean that person never meant something to you, but now, they hold no objective meaning to your life, and eventually, you start to let go.
But let's say a person breaks up and finds another person a few months later, and then claim they "love" the new person, then their love was never genuine from the beginning. There are people who are hurting for years, because a relationship ended. Eventually, they moved on and developed love for new people. Just because I used to love someone and was justified in breaking up, doesn't mean my love wasn't genuine because I don't love her now. Especially not since it took me a long time to get over the past relationship.
But if someone is saying "I fell out of love" as an excuse to cheat or break up, that means there is someone else in the picture they want to try their luck with, and never were in love with you anyway.
True love isn't a feeling according to science. It's actually been shown in research that couples lose the feeling of love after 4 to 9 months in a relationship but that true love is actually about sacrifice of oneself and places the center focus on the other person rather than self. People who base serious relationships need to be careful they aren't committed to them based on just that feeling of "being in love" because those sparks fade and the saying "falling out of love" becomes popularized in relationships. If it's true love then its not about feeling but actions. You love the desire to serve your partner and dont want to put them first over yourself (in a healthy way, not self neglect) a perfect example is sex. The difference between making love and having sex is that having sex is about satisfying your own needs and lusts. You perform those actions because your body dictates you to find that release and pleasure. Whereas making love is about how you can satisfy you partner and make them happy. Both of these are good nd healthy but the later shows what love is and why we use the phrase "make love" live is selfless in nature but contains balance
Great answer. You are right about making love. I understand that 4-9 month timeline as people constantly change and grow so lovers should grow together and keep working to fall in love over and over.
Yes. Just because someone falls out of love with you, that doesn't mean what they felt at the time wasn't real love.
People can change as a person over time, and their wants, needs and desires can change too. When that happens, their feelings can change as well, so they fall out of love
Some people who change don't see that they have, so their partner falls out of love with them , because they aren't the person they fell in love with.
There's no guarantees in love. No one can promise they'll love you forever, or never hurt you. We all have to trust love will last and not think about "what if " . It's futile worrying about something that may or may never happen
My ex husband fell out of love with me, and he didn't have love, he had lust. he treated me like crap for 12 years, and if he was in love he wouldn't be checking out girls and saying stupid things like she is hot in front of me and our kids... thats disrespectful to me as his wife and kids. So I think if a man says i fell out of love with you its lust he had not love. A man in love, would fight for his woman no matter what, and would remain to her faithfully, and both would come to a compromise and forgive each other.
No, you can't undo something you never chose to do. You can't fall out of true love, you don't choose to fall in love, it just happens, you don't require to know someone to fall in love with him/her. True love never ends even if the relationships breaks.
YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE SOMEONE BUT BEING OR FALLING IN LOVE ISN'T A CHOICE.
True love is UNCONDITIONAL it never ends. But those who love the idea of being in love or have other forms of love, which are CONDITIONAL ends.
Relationships are based on different forms /types of love, any relationship can either consist of:
1. One partner who is in love (True love) and the other who likes the idea of being in love, settling for (conditional love). COMMON. 20% of all relationships
2. Both partners who like the idea of being in love. (financial security, sex, status, physical attraction - booty, tall and handsome etc) ALSO COMMON. 75% of all relationships
3. Both partners who are in love (True unconditional love) - VERY RARE. 5% of all relationships.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
When men sincerely say “I love you” it’s a pledge of loyalty and connection. It’s not just a reflection of our emotions. It’s a much deeper respect and bonding that exists outside of emotion.
Women on the other-hand tend to say “I love you” as reflection of their current emotions which can change very quickly. Not all women are like this but more than less are.
This is why it’s much harder for a man to say “I love you”. We are pledging a much deeper commitment. We have much further to fall if things go south.
I still remember telling an ex years ago “there is a part of me that will always love you” the day we broke up. There was an acknowledgment that the relationship was done. But on a deeper level it was a respect and admiration for her best wishes. It wasn’t about possession. If she found someone else later who was better for her than myself I would understand and accept it. I wouldn’t be happy about it of course. But on a deeper level I would realize that was best to make her happy. I can accept that.
Unbeknownst to me at the time there was a 95% chance the cunt cheated on me a week before she asked to break up. She never confirmed it but how she treated me later after all this points to that being the most likely outcome. I regret telling her that. But in that particular moment I trusted her 100%.
I will never in my life again extend that kind of respect to another woman who breaks up with me or vice versa. The whole “soul mates” theory is bullshit.
Not necessarily people want diffrent things sometimes and it all depends on why they felt they fell out of love with you sometimes it's good at the begining to see how things go but if someone u live boy or girl feel that deep feeling of lose in u it does not mean that he didn't love u to begin with he jst wants a women he can have a deep love feeling for things change as time goes by in relationships no one is perfect he jst dosent feel tht it will work and u like tht nice close soul feeling when u love someone deep heart touching so dont worry
No. You were just two boats passing in the night and eventually went your way. True love, deep love does not hurt, it does not equivalate to pain, anger, or mistrust. If it does, then it's not true love. The problem isn't love, it's people trying to force love with the wrong person. Now theirs a difference with tough love, that's usually to push one to do better in their lives cause that person loves them so much and doesn't want to continue seeing them fall further down the cracks of life sometimes.
It depends because if someone truly loved you they would fight to be by your side and sacrifice for you , they wouldn’t fall out of love with you , but the thing is we can still love someone even if we choose to walk away but remove The truly part , it mainly comes down to why they walked away.. My ex wife cheated on me and had an affair , I walked away and filed for divorce , she claims she still loves me which I still love her as well , she is the mother of my children , but I could never truly love her again or be with her , her betrayal destroyed what we had together , if she truly loved me she wouldn’t of spread her legs for another guy , I forgave her but I will never forget , I realize I deserve someone that truly loves me like I truly love them , just finding that someone has been a journey lol So yes someone can still love and care about you if they choose to walk away but they don’t truly love you
Yes, you can fall out of love. I loved my ex, but not anymore when I found out that she was a liar and a cheater. The image of her that I loved wasn't reality, so my love went away pretty fast after finding out about the lie. That doesn't make the love I once felt less real in terms of how I felt it. It's less real in the sense that it wasn't really directed at the person I thought it was directed. As for not loving someone anymore out of nowhere, I don't think that can happen. There has to be some reason, otherwise it was just infatuation
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I had this not long ago, a break up where his claim was “my feelings have changed” and when I asked what changed and why he couldn’t tell me, there was no reason. For me personally I feel he never loved me in the first place as feelings of love can’t just go away for no reason, there needs to be some sort of catalyst. He was saying words but they had no meaning. Obviously now I find it hard to trust people who claim to “love”.
Oh it was awful, especially the not knowing what had changed! He seemed like such a genuinely lovely guy too! BUT I definitely believe everything happens for a reason and in the long run it’s saved me wasting years of my life dedicated to a guy who can so easily change his mind 😄
Absolutely. It takes two to tango! You can love someone when they aren’t living you but you can’t do it for forever. Little by little you will wisen up and lose love for them. My marriage was pretty much over before my husband died. It was a slow death of our marriage just as it was of his body by ignoring his diabetes. And there’s still a lot of pain because of unanswered questions and what if’s.
I believe the 2 ex-girlfriends I had never truly ever loved me, plus I was looking for love at the wrong place my opinion never try meeting someone that you go to Partial Hospitalization it's a place for the mentally ill but you could meet someone whose got worst mental illnesses than yourself?
Nah real love is unconditional and you will never stop loving and caring for them no Matter what. If you stopped "loving " is because it was never love it was temporary feelings or maybe just lust. Sad that majority of people here think love goes away and its temporary... so sadd
Damn that's a tough question. I couldn't even say. I do know that love takes work from both people and sometimes without that effort it can feel like you're not in love with that person anymore. I also feel that love and being in love are a little different so while you may fall out of love with someone I dont think that means you stop loving them completely.
I really don't give my opinion or stand my ground because many people do... I'll say this over and over again... Love is a commitment not feeling. Though this commitment comes with the feeling... Commitment in the sense that you're ready to be tolerant...
But when people fall in love because of a person's lifestyle or eyes, or other body parts, there goes the issue... Cause all these are subject to change... All these may fade, and what happens? Dump the person?
That's not the right choice when you are committed to the person... If you're committed, whether there's a change, you're ever ready to still continue with that person...
No, they had big feelins in the moment.. You can't stop lovin somebody because love is more than strong feelins.. A part of yo soul mended and tied with that person, and that can never be undone, and you can never fall out of it..
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
In short, No. But that doesn't mean people can't grow apart. That's why it's important for couples to always set aside time to be together. That way they never lose sight of what brought them together in the first place. People can and will change over the years. If a couple doesn't grow together. They will grow apart.
Yes i believe they truly loved you. But some people turn ugly (and i dont mean physically). No one wants to tolerate a bad attitude or pessimist or a psycho for long
When this occurs, I believe the person who loves the person they are leaving, also loves themselves enough to get away from a self-destructive situation.
They've set boundaries and nothing is wrong with that.
If you have me, you have my love and my loyalty, I can endure when it makes sense and carry on, but I won't do it to the point that it brings on my own peril for standing in the fire with you. Things have to make sense.
You can love someone but still leave them because you're incompatible or they turned out to be mentally or physically abusive. Perhaps cheaters, suffering from addiction or deceptful.
Leaving a relationship does not always mean that you fell out of love for them. But love alone is not enough. You owe it to yourself or children sometimes to leave a bad relationship. Even if you still love the person you are with.
it can happen when the relationship is not nurtured. Like after the person may have done something wrong there is no communication and no nurturing happening afterward.
I think I'll forever love my first love. My high school boyfriend. Toxic relationship and I'll never be with him again. But the love in unconditional.. And sadly in sure unrequited. It's ok... I hope one day someone can love me just as much so I can love them back unconditionally 🤗
I don’t understand the quote. People lose interest. They don’t necessarily lose love, they forget how to cherish it with the person they intend to be with.
I think true love will never die. More common is what I call romantic love which is where the most people fit. This is the love that won't pass the tests of everything life throws at us.
We change a lot over the course of our lives. I think we can love who someone was, but not love who they became.
2
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I dont think so. I think its possible that you just dont love them romantically anymore, just in a different way. but they will always have a part in you, even just a little. if you believe that you dont care about that person at all anymore, I dont think its "falling out of love", its just you were simply never in love with them. it could be that you just thought u were. but in reality it was just an attachment and not real love. it happens.
If you weren’t constantly hurting them, then yes, I’m convinced the person never truly loved them at all — only enjoyed their company and used the L-word to maintain them 💔
If you can say or feel " I no longer love you", then you never truly loved that person. The only exception I would make is if the person became seriously abusive and was not that way when you fell in love.
It does make you wonder what their love was based on 🤔 but to me, you can never stop loving a person. Platonically is still an option and if that's gone then to me, they placed their basis for love in the wrong place
Falling out of love is an excuse for not wanting to put in the work required to make a relationship last. It’s a choice that you make every single day to care less and less about/for that other person.
1
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Voted A They probably never loved you, but love an illusion of who they thought you are.. Also, first impressions can really be deceiving
Interesting question. Gave it Thumbs up. I believe you can fall in love and then out of it for different reasons. I do not care for the words "true-love" Love is true , regardless. There is no true or false love. It is simply "love"
I think its common to fall in and out of love in general. To question thoughts and feelings time to time. But if noone is inspired to do anything different from that is where lies an issue