Why does he keep randomly texting every three days, and invites me to lunch after asking for space - or in essence, breaking up?

[Anonymous]

We had a beautiful relationship for almost two years, and had recently talked about formalizing our relationship (getting married) but he lost his job and have struggled finding a job he enjoys. Therefore, after a few months he said that he is not ready, that he does not know what he wants, that he does not deserve me, that he does not want to hurt me because he can't give me what I need, and just a bunch of other dark commentaries. For example, I asked him do you love me, are you still in-love with me? To which he replied by saying he loves me but is not sure if he ever was in-love with me. This was a nasty kick to the face because I trust it isn't true but he was never the type of person to say something like this, beyond hurtful. Regardless, he kept texting random hope all is well every three days. He just found out I lost my job, and now has asked me if I want to go to lunch to talk about it. He was the one person I wanted to talk about it with, and was in terrible pain from it but I didn't reach out because he had asked for space. Anyways, just trying to figure out the whole things and/or if I should go out to lunch with him. Any insight will be more than appreciated!

[Anonymous]

It's difficult to know for sure what your ex's intentions are, but it's possible that he may still have feelings for you and is trying to maintain a connection with you. Alternatively, he may genuinely care about your well-being and want to offer support during a difficult time.

However, it's important to approach the situation with caution and not make assumptions or act on those assumptions without clear communication and boundaries. If you're interested in reconnecting with your ex or going out to lunch with him, it may be worth having an open and honest conversation about your feelings and intentions.

It's important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health in this situation, and to consider whether reconnecting with your ex is in your best interest. If you have any concerns or reservations, it may be worth talking to a trusted friend or counselor for support and guidance. Ultimately, the decision to reconnect with your ex or not is up to you and what feels right for you.

[Asker]

Just got this message: “want to make sure que that you know this was not your fault, you didn’t do ANYTHING wrong! This was and is ALL my fault, it’s about me, not you. You are awesome and will always be an awesome person. I realize you may not be blaming yourself at all for anything, just wanted to make sure you knew that.🙏😘”

Can someone translate this please 😅, THOUGHTS?

[Opinion Owner]

It seems like the person who sent you this message is trying to take responsibility for the breakup and assure you that it wasn't your fault. They are acknowledging that the issues in the relationship were due to their own struggles and insecurities, and not because of anything you did wrong. They also want to make sure that you don't blame yourself for the breakup, and reassure you that you are an awesome person. Overall, it seems like they are trying to offer closure and reassure you that you are not at fault.

[Guy13]

Insecure, lonely, self-serving.

[SueShe]

He may have been sincere when he stated that he loved you but that he could not be the kind of provider that you expect from a man. I believe that his pride has been really hurt and thought that you may view him differently after he lost his job.

My gut feeling tells me that he is still in love with you and that he "is not sure whether he ever was in love with you" simply meant that he gave you a chance to move away from him because he thought he was not worthy of you.

The fact that he is trying to contact you once in a while does lead me to believe that he is still in love and now that you have lost your job, he views you as an equal in terms of an unemployed person.

It all depends on how you separated and whether you still have feelings for him. Personally, I would let him go because his behavior but mostly his way of expressing himself was hurtful and apparently he did not apologize for the way he expressed himself.

[Asker]

Thanks for your detailed response! Tad at a lost because besides that nasty answer to my question he had been beyond wonderful, and respectful. As you said, he hasn’t apologized but just insisted in taking space. Mind you, it has been exactly two weeks since we last saw each other, and a big back and forth between needing space, randomly texting, and now wanting to do lunch. I do not want to loose what we had, nop…but despite him being in a dark place, and not seeking help in therapy, etc what he said is unacceptable. Very at a lost with what to do. Thanks again!

[SueShe]

He may be sincere and realizes that what he said was beyond nasty and insulting. I also believe that he feels lonely and he is trying to get your attention because of convenience.

It is up to you whether you should accept one lunch and see what he has to say. You know him best and should know if he is sincere or not. Good luck.

[boobliker]

he want you but no time in his life

[In_Trance]

Block him and move on

[Asker]

How soo? We didn’t have infidelity issues or any issues up to this point where is unemployment and the marriage conversation collided. Thank you for your message.