Guys, Why does he ignore me for a certain amount of days then will send a text and talk about how he misses me and wants to see me?

[Anonymous]

Usually we end up seeing each other and having sex. But then he’ll ignore me again for a period of time, and maybe he’ll send a text, but then, if I go to reply, he won’t say anything else. If he’s not interested, why does he even contact me?

[Anonymous]

Deep down, all men know the gravity of sex and they know it's a woman's job to 'gate-keep' it. Thus when ever you as a woman give it away easily, and without thoroughly vetting the man, and ensuring he is worth creating a soul tie with, then he will not respect you. Thus this lack of respect is exhibited in different ways but most is probably subconscious. It's the same with friends with benefits. You will often hear about a man doing stuff couples will do but yet never giving it a label or committing... same reason.

Such men (some are incubus) will bread crumb you to get easy sex even if they are seeing another woman. Thus the woman involved with such men destroys her own ability to truly (pair) bond in deep love, creates a soul tie with an unworthy man, builds lack of trust in herself and in relationships with men, destroys her future prospects and exposes herself to disease.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your thorough comment! I really appreciate having the perspectives, and you’re absolutely correct. I have made a comment about friends with benefits, and that I’d be okay with that, and he keeps swearing up and down that’s not what he wants, and just makes it appear as if he wants more.
That’s what confuses me, the most, why would he not admit he wants friends with benefits?

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes being evasive and non committal is simply how they operate. It allows them to play games much easier. It's natural behavior for the emotionally unavailable men.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for you insight, it truly has helped me to get a better understanding. Just wish he would have said something up front what he was looking for, but since he’s the way you described, appears he would have never done that. Sigh…. I’m thankful again for you taking the time.

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. And remember, not everyone is self aware enough to know what they are and so will go from one behavior to another. There is also what some refer to as 'post-nut' clarity. Youtube has jokes and serious videos on that one if you don't already know about it.

[Asker]

I will have to go online and check that out, that’s a new one for me. I have not heard of that before. Again, thank you so much. I greatly appreciate it.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because it’s a game and he's trying to avoid a relationship

[Asker]

I have brought up being just friends with benefits so many times, and he swears that’s not what he wants, and acts surprised I would even ask that. But when it’s pretty clear, that’s what this is why not just admit it?

[BarryLiverstone]

Because friends with benefits still puts him into a casual relationship and his intention is to not have your emotions increase for him.

When you ask that what does he say that he wants?

[Asker]

When I have brought up being friends with benefits, he asks surprised, and says no, that’s not what he wants. And acts like he wants to make it develop into a relationship.

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh that’s because like I said he’s playing the game. Bottom line is he will say what he can to keep you interested in sex with him. So he sets the expectation that he wants a committed relationship in the future because he feels like that is what you want. He thinks you only are offering a friends with benefits as a compromise

[BarryLiverstone]

He’s also trying to protect his reputation

[Asker]

That makes total sense why he would say that. I wish it was easier to stop thinking about him. It’s this mind control thing he does, ignore for a certain amount of days then contacts me. And I can’t seem to stop thinking about him, no matter how busy I become. Since it’s been 5 days, maybe he’s found someone else to do this too

[BarryLiverstone]

You only think about him because he shuts you off completely. That’s part of the game as it leaves you to overthink and wonder if he’s found someone else and if she’s better than you are. Which plays to his advantage when he finally does communicate you wanna prove you are worthy of his time.

[Asker]

Wow you definitely gave me insight and I am grateful for you taking the time to answer my post. It’s complete crap that he does this and that it’s made me feel the way I have. I have doubted myself, the way I look, the way I present myself, just everything.
I have done exactly as you said, and when he’s contacted me I have gone over to see him and really turn it up, smh I’m an idiot!!

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Go ahead and follow me back as I’m curious if this is an isolated case for you. Something tells me this isn’t the first time a guy has done this as I sense your doubts

[Asker]

Thank you, and I just followed you back. And you’re right, I have not had the greatest luck with guys in the past. I worked with this one and we didn’t talk much at work, but when we did talk, he just seems so different than the rest. And when we finally started talking outside of work when we exchange numbers, it was very different and I guess I just fell for everything that he had to say and here’s the situation. And when I start to get to a point where I am totally wanting to say, screw off, then he contacts me.

[Vikkrram]

When he would message you next time just ask one thing you craving for sex that's why you messaged me?
And then look what is his reply

[Asker]

That sounds like a good idea, thank you for your reply.

[Wise4myage]

I bet he's sleeping with multiple women.

[Asker]

Could be. Haven’t heard anything but one text three days ago, otherwise this is going on day 6. He might actually be done.

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, don't wait to long before moving on.

[Asker]

I’m not waiting, that’s for sure. The answers on my question have really opened my eyes to a better understanding. I’m thankful for each

[karekaaaa]

He miss sex

[Asker]

I thought about that, but to me I feel like he’s probably talking to someone else so wouldn’t he be getting it from that person?

[karekaaaa]

Why not with u too?

[karekaaaa]

I mean if he got it from her and u are availabe why he will leave u

[Asker]

That could be, have a variety I guess. I’ve brought it up about being friends with benefits and not labeling anything other than that, and he keeps telling me that’s not what he wants. If I’m open to that, why wouldn’t he just say so?

[karekaaaa]

Im sure he is lying

[Asker]

I’m sure he probably is, but why if that’s all he appears to want from me anyway? Doesn’t make sense to make it appear like hr wants something more if he doesn’t.

[karekaaaa]

I don't know what is he doing but he is lying

[Asker]

Me neither, I just really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my question. I just feel like I’m in some sort of game and I don’t understand the rules and just was looking for some guidance. So I appreciate you!

[karekaaaa]

May u follow me?
I wanna ask u some questions if u dont mind

[Asker]

Okay, sure