I broke up with my girlfriend one year ago but despite the fact relationship being a little toxic I still can't get it out of my head. Did I do wrong?

[bocian19]

4 years relation, I moved 300 miles away for her. I helped her to get out of depression (she used to self-harm). She told me she has anxiety of intimacy and needs time. We were seeing each other 3-4 times/month. She promised we'll see each other often then she would say she is busy and we won't meet for 2 months because she has to focus on the exams (it was true though). She would call to me every single day and talk for hours, but I felt like we're falling apart because of distance. I waited another year, I would speak to her about her needs, I was trying to be the perfect boyfriend. I would be fresh/clean, I cooked her favourite meals, I was asking her out, I was showing her love, I was holding her hand, hugging, kissing, I was asking about her day, I was supporting her studies, I was taking days off to help her with exams, teaching her foreign language. I literally tried everything. She would invite me for sleepovers and we were having a good time - but every time I had to leave I knew we won't see each other for next weeks. I guess after 3 years of relationship we should be seeing each other more often. We both had all weekends free. She kept saying that meeting 2-4 times a month is enough. Her family loved me. I asked her if she's happy with me - she said yes but her words didn't match the actions. The owner sold the appartment, I told her I need to move out far. I asked about living together/future. She said "No, don't even think about it since im religious" and it's so hard to deal with my decision (I couldn't hold it financially and mentally anymore). She would cry over the phone but I told her that we have completely different needs and plans for the future, she only said that I'm right and she understands my decision. I loved her so much, but it still kills me inside that she wouldn't do anything for me while I put so much effort for her. I tried everything and nothing helps me to get over it, what else can I do? Does it mean I took wrong decision?

[Rosexøxø]

Simply put you thought that was the best you can do.

when we are afraid or don’t know how to move forward, we crave the familiar.

Growth doesn’t typically come from comfort. Many times not at all.

It’s always a breakthrough moment that needs to take place for us to advance and extend ourselves in the best sense/way.

I think letting emotions die is ideal, but since your emotions are still somewhat alive to the past relationship and the ids of it more so, you need to distract and occupy your time with other worthwhile things.

Enjoy live and living to help you forget and carry onwards.

You’re not the first person to have felt this way, but leaving a toxic relationship- of any degree is always the smartest move/ decision we could make.

Mean what you say and do, so stick to yo ur guy, intuition, and reason on this one, and improve your life by doing what it is, that you enjoy, and doing the thing that helps others to benefit.

[Screenwriter]

ALWAYS< ALWAYS go by people's ACTIONS. This woman is no more religious than a hole in the head. If she's been sleeping with you, as in having sex, what is she religious about? She wants to have her cake and eat it too. BREAK THIS OFF. This woman is using you at HER CONVENIENCE. This is one-sided. Doesn't matter if her family loves you or you fix her meals or teach her a language. These are the reasons she keeps you around. You're useful.

Stop mistreating yourself by staying with this woman. Break off completely. She's toying with you. It's very sad. Don't allow yourself to be used. She's not a good person. Find someone who appreciates all you have to offer. This woman doesn't. There is someone out there who will.

[bocian19]

Thank you for the opinion. It was my first girlfriend and I didn’t see the red flags. I broke up with her but the problem is that even though it was toxic it still goes around my head all the time.

[Screenwriter]

Time wounds all heels and heals all wounds. Talk it out with a counselor if you think it'll help. I think it could.

[misogynistic_pig]

You didn't necessarily do wrong by ending a toxic relationship, especially if that relationship wasn't making you happy or was causing you more stress and pain than joy and satisfaction.

You may still have feelings for your ex girlfriend after a year, which is normal and understandable.

However, if you're still struggling to get over your ex-girlfriend and it's affecting your emotional well-being or ability to move forward in your life, it may help to seek help from a mental health professional or talk to close friends or family.

Sometimes the recovery process from a toxic relationship can be long and difficult, but there are steps you can take to help you move forward and find happiness in the future.

[Anonymous]

No you did right! Get the fuck out of there.

YouTube today break ups entrepreneurs in cars or Rollo tomassi. Both will go into detail a lot better than I can. It happens to all of us man. Focus on making you better. You don't have to completely erase her from your life but thoughts about the past are your absolutely last priority.

[Opinion Owner]

You mentioned a lot what you did for her... What did she do for you?

[bocian19]

Actually you are right, I did 90% and she did 10% for the relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

❤️

You'll find better once your head clears. After every relationship I feel like I miss her, and 6 months to a year later you're like fuck why did I even date her.

[Avicenna]

This is something for which you really need to get help from someone who knows you well or a counselor

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Never again will I ever be another girl's saving grace. If they don't have their shit together, I want nothing to do with them. Everyone has problems, but women like to think theirs are the only ones that matter, and trying to help them will drain your fucking soul.
You were right to get rid of her and you'd be stupid to go back

[WanderingLoveWizard]

And if anyone wants to give me some virtue signaling "they just need help!" bullshit, you can fuck off. I did help them, but no good deed goes unpunished. Fuck people, they can solve their own damn problems

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Thats rough bro, tragic story. Though I learned and heard a lot, dont show her love too much or she will lose interest.
At the end here when she rejected your offer to live together with the religion argument its obvious to me that she isn't as invested as you are. If she sould really live you she wouldn't care less about religion. Come on, we dont live in the dark ages anymore.

[mark000h]

No good deed goes unpunished. A man that helps his woman will help her right to the door.

[belle_kai]

I would question why do you feel responsible for her? Also has there ever been anyone in your life that you did this for, before her?

[bocian19]

It was my first girlfriend, probably thats why I didn’t see the red flags.

[belle_kai]

Just try and move on

[Iron_Man]

Well you should have hung in there you loved her

[bocian19]

I had to move out far away back and we would see each other even less than before.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

You did everything you could.

[Softlife808]

Sir, it's over

[In_Trance]

Get a therapist