When is Enough with an Ex Where it's Time to Say "GOOD-BYE"?

Question

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Paris, you don't need a reason or justification to say goodbye and you have no obligation to remain in a friendship with an ex. When a romantic/sexual couple end that relationship and they try to maintain a friendship, it usually means that one of them does not want the romantic/sexual relationship to end and they are holding on, as best as they can, hoping for a reconciliation. Of course, that is not a good idea; reconcile, and you will soon re-discover the problems that caused the first break up. "Second verse, same as the first." But, they hold on, and that stops them from resolving their feelings about the break up and moving forward.

Meanwhile, the partner who doesn't want a reconcilation wants to move forward. They get a new partner, usually hide that fact from their ex, but the new partner feels that something isn't right if you are staying in a friendship with someone who was - until recently - a sexual partner. This usually causes tremendous problems for the new relationship.

So, I never recommend a cople try to maintain a friendship after a break up. When you decide that you are ready to move forward, tell your ex that the best way for you to move forward is to leave him in the past, wish him good luck, and then don't look back.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk more in private.

Likes2drive · Accepted Answer

When you just don’t see a future with them anymore because of how they are with you

AviatorTom · Answer

When you are no longer satisfied with the relationship, are emotionally drained, or have no feelings for your partner... you can always end the relationship and say goodbye.

Summeroflove · Answer

If someone isn’t good to be in your life. Just cut contact with them. Depends really on how and why you broke up.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

Deciding when an ex is enough and when it's time to say "goodbye" is a personal decision and can vary from person to person.

Here are some signs that could indicate that it is time to let go of your ex:

Disrespect: If your ex disrespects you or treats you badly in any way, it's probably best to walk away from the relationship.

Incompatibility: If you discover that you and your ex have different goals, values, or interests that make a fulfilling relationship difficult, it may be best to say goodbye.

Lack of communication: If you find that your ex is not willing to listen to you or commit to the relationship, it may be a sign that the relationship is not healthy.

Cycle of making up and breaking up: If you are in a constant cycle of breaking up and making up, your relationship may be unstable and unhealthy.

Lack of happiness: If the relationship is not making you happy and you are feeling unhappy or dissatisfied, it may be better to let your ex go and seek happiness elsewhere.

Ultimately, the decision to say goodbye to your ex will depend on your own circumstances and needs.

If you find yourself struggling with this decision, it may be helpful to seek the help of friends, family, or a mental health professional for additional support and perspective.

Anonymous · Answer

Most people say they say you break you up should be the last day you ever talk (unless you have to for legitimate reasons later). Most people say it’s best to completely remove that person from your life.

Most of the time that’s probably the best course of action but not always.

I guess if there was cheating, (real) abuse, completely one sided selfishness then of course you should cut that person out of your life for good.

But other times circumstances can arise like someone having to move or maybe one person just isn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. Sometimes the relationship just ran it’s course. That doesn’t mean you can’t still respect each other and appreciate what you had.

I had one ex girlfriend years ago break up with me and 100% disavow. Treated me like I was less than human. I did love her but I wasn’t ready to be in a serious relationship at the time. I had too much instability in my personal life. I accepted the break up even though I wasn’t happy about it. We seemingly left on respectful terms. I wanted her to be happy even if her future didn’t include me.

However I was wrong. Dead wrong about how I expected her to treat me afterwards. We had to meet up for business purposes a few weeks later.

At one point I said I missed talking to her (my eyes watered up) and she proceeded to give me one the nastiest most callous insults I had ever taken from a woman in my entire life.

She didn’t say it in anger but in complete indifference. She completely believed what she was saying and she wasn’t under the influence of irrational emotion. She literally saw me as less than human. A disease she needed to get away from asap. That haunted me for years afterwards.

She never apologized either. That is when I realized that the old saying “it’s better to love and lost then never loved at all” is a huge lie.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Should be as soon as you break up. I mean the matter is already settled. If there are kids then communication should be based on that and that alone. If one tries to talk about relationship stuff then they should be ignored until they come to their senses and cease the behavior.

Gent207-2 · Answer

The first time they lay a hand on you, that wasn't loving. The moment they disrespected you and didn't apologize or feel remorse even after being made aware.
The second they threaten to unalive themselves in order to manipulate you.
These individuals should be completely dead to you.

lightbulb27 · Answer

What's the point of having the X.. to attempt to get back to some better place with them? Or the relationship regulated down to some "stable level", that is not fully complete?

the problem is that person is filling a space in your life. Until they are removed, no-one else can move in. When you suffer the loss and expend energy to find someone who will be your partner in life, then you have a chance to meet them. No guarantees, but when you are challenged, you'll work on your better self.

Otherwise, one can end up functioning at some low level, eating crumbs. That's not right. don't ask how I know.

ilovelamp · Answer

If they were heartless enough to cheat once they would be heartless enough to cheat again. Switch out for other huge problems, like domestic violence.

The first time they cross that red line, is when you should say good bye... right?

exitseven · Answer

I just could never see the point in remaining friends with somebody I used to date. They were not friends. They either dumped me or else they acted in a way that made me dump them.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

he's sure got a hold on you. i don't think you can say goodbye

arodriguez664 · Answer

I left my last relationship after my ex was damaging my mental health to a point where I wasn't sure I could ever love again. He was awful. He was narcissistic and emotionally abusive. He wanted to stay friends after we broke up. I told him no. We knew each other for about 14 years. I didn't want to be his friend anymore after I realized that he is entirely poison to me. After we broke up I told him about something positive that had happened and he immediately found all the fault in it.

Legendarylegacy13 · Answer

When you know it's over cause in my experience both of us always know it's over before it's officially stated.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I had more than enough when I stopped talking to the mini-bitch 22 years ago!!

Mangospacho · Answer

When she shows up uninvited to Cheesecake Factory on your wife’s birthday trying to get “closure”.

msc545 · Answer

When you realize she is trying to ruin your life, that is probably the time to leave.

Adam1978 · Answer

When you make them an ex.

TrueConfection · Answer

When the negative outweighs the positive.

Makeushiver · Answer

if you're asking, it's time.

humanearth · Answer

You don't need a reason, you just got to move on

Massageman · Answer

It's "enough" when it has BEEN "enough". (You will ) feel it in your gut and heart when the time is right to part.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Paris, you keep posting these questions about him, and yet you never actually let him go. Something to think about, dear.

Anonymous · Answer

Thought i knew

Sweety_Torneeya · Answer

When he dont have time for you

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

when they start saying bullshit

Debbie14217 · Answer

when you break up

CubaPirate · Answer

Only you can decide that for yourself

Heather0xx · Answer

U just feel it! And your ok with it

Aww44 · Answer

You got to do what is right for you

JustMeL120 · Answer

When you don't love them then leave them.

TrillXHippy · Answer

It’s up to you

Yucy_Gluttony · Answer

The moment you call them Ex.

Exterminatore · Answer

Probably when you ask that question.

When is Enough with an Ex Where it's Time to Say "GOOD-BYE"?

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