How do I tell my new boyfriend about my past without making him feel like I’m comparing him to my ex?

[Anonymous]

In my first relationship I fell stupidly in love with this boy. I felt like I had known him forever and I cherished every moment we had together. In the beginning it as perfect and all I wanted was his time. My birthday came up and when he asked what I wanted I told him to get me my favorite bag of chips which wouldn’t have been more than $1.50. I was serious. On the day of my birthday he showed up with a card, a bouquet of flowers that were probably $10 and 2 bags of chips. And I couldn’t contain my joy that he was there with above all else. I was blind to any guy but him. I prayed for him regularly. And even later when he bought much more expensive gifts I knew it was true love because more than the flowers or the chips or anything else I had the memory of him showing up o my birthday party and me thinking how lucky and glad I was to have met him. Every moment together with him meant so much to me. He was my best friend and first love. And when the lies started I still cherished the moments so much that I started to accept less and less. And I couldn’t wrap my head around the possibility that he was capable of hurting me as bad as he did. So when he ghosted me and I found out 6 months later he had met another girl who he would go on to marry it hurt like fuck. I met another guy years later who was my friend-as close to me as one could get after something like that. My expectations were higher and I was harder on him to meet them. I was really insistent that he stay consistent and it drove a wedge between us. He didn’t like the pressure I put on him to not slip up, the anger I showed at his mistakes or the way I tallied the mistakes up in my mind. I feel like there are problems that he could fix but I feel like firstly, before we could possibly continue he would really need to know why I’m the way that I am. But I kind of think he wouldn’t care. After your heart breaks it’s like the world goes on and your stuck with a broken heart that just bothers the new people.

[kylee2437]

This is why stuff like this should be discussed before you even start dating someone because you wouldn’t be sitting in question of your boyfriends reactions to serious matters if you actually brought up this stuff to figure out how he handles info like this. All you can do at this point is be up front and hope he reacts in a way that is understanding, if he doesn’t then there is definitely room to say you two lack compatibility

[Anarcamus]

Open and honestly. Your going to break his heart otherwise, it sounds like you already hurt one person badly. Don't let yourself hurt another.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Just like you told us. Don't caveat everything, just to the point. Hell read this post to him if you want. Class it up though, don't let him see that you're just reading this post. Write it out as a letter, old school style, read it to him, fold it up, seal it with a kiss and place it against his heart. Everything will work out.

[DextroShade]

To quote the legendary Kevin Samuels: "Punishing the men in your present for the mistakes of men in your past equals no future."

Also, men don't want to know about your sexual past or how hung up you are on your ex because we can'tdo anything about it. Just focus on being a better partner and try to move on from the ex.

[8InchesChris]

Dont tell him the juicy bits

[In_Trance]

don't