Should I ask for closure?

[Anonymous]

It’s been almost 6 weeks since he ended it.
I just said ok and we didn’t speak since.

I want to know if I should reach out?

While there were some feelings of relief at first, I’m also completely devastated.

I do think it’s for the best. He clearly was not good for me.
And I’ve not just been moping around, I work out almost every day, I’ve been abroad, I’m being more social than before.
But I just can’t get over it. I’ve got so much anger and questions that I just don’t know where to put it.
I want to tell him how angry I am. How he did me so wrong. How I miss him.

I don’t know how to get him out my head.
I thought over time and doing all the “right things” I would start to feel better about it.

But I keep ending up back here. It’s like im waiting or expecting him to come back and feel disappointed all over again when he doesn’t.

Should I reach out and try to get some closure?
Or better to keep going how I’m doing now; even if I feel like I’m not getting anywhere..

I know this is so desperate; but ye that’s kinda where im at rn

[OlderAndWiser]

"I want to tell him. . . how he did me so wrong. How I miss him."

You acknowledge that this was an unhealthy relationship. But it put its tentacles around you. And now, I suspect, closure means you want to have a chance to convince him to come back to you, hugs and kisses and everything else.

The problem is that YOU chose him for a partner, you most likely ignored the warning signs, and you failed to protect yourself. Getting mad at him is understandable but shouldn't you be mad at yourself for allowing this to happen?

Closure is overrated unless it allows you to learn some lessons so you don't repeat the mistakes. And you can learn your lessons without seeing him again. If he is the Siren and you are Ulysses, you don't want to chance seeing him again. . . unless you want to resume the unhealthy mess and prolong the pain even more.

[Asker]

I’m absolutely mad at myself for allowing this to happen.
No denying that.
And I’m sure on some level a part of me is wanting to reach out just to have some contact with him.
But he lied so much at the end and he ended it via text, I had no answers.

I too thought closure was overrated and that I just need to “move on”.
It’s just that that doesn’t seem to be working, no matter what I do, I feel as desperate as ever.

I just wondered if maybe I should say what I have to say to him.
But yes; I don’t know if it’s my emotions playing tricks on me, that’s why I’m here asking

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you considered writing a letter to him?

[Asker]

No I didn’t.
Up until I didn’t want to do anything that would make me seem more pathetic.
But now I don’t really care as long as it makes me feel better

[OlderAndWiser]

Try writing a letter but don't send it for 1-2 days, and then re-read it.

[RoseySaraah]

No you don't need closure you want an excuse to talk with him again!

So bad but if you want to try again just admit it and talk with him! No one will stop you

[Anonymous]

Sure, it can't hurt to ask.

[In_Trance]

No. Move on