Is asking for closure selfish?

[Anonymous]

Me and this girl didn't exactly work out, and a lot of stuff she did/how she acted were kinda red flags to make me believe she was secretly dating another guy behind my back, as well as possibly stringing me along.

I have a lot of questions as you can imagine, that would clear up whether she's a bad person or not

Today me and her briefly talked (she still dislikes me) and i asked her for closure (after she got my package of the stuff i sent her, thats hers). she said "always thinking about yourself, as usual"

yeah she sounds like a b*tch, i just gave her her stuff back, but it makes me wonder... is it actually selfish to ask for closure? i think wanting closure is normal, but asking for it? Hmmmmm...

thoughts?

yes

no

Updates

+1 y

Please note: This question is about the topic of "is asking for closure selfish?", not my personal scenario

i just told my personal scenario so others would know what happened to me

[Freeway1000]

No! I dont think asking for closure is selfish. I think most people need closure when ending a relationship. Having closure is a way to move on with your life. I think most people would understand why you need to have closure with her.

[Thatguy321]

Someone who wants "closure" isn't over the relationship, just move on and forget about her and find a new girl

[Asker]

Is asking for closure selfish?

[Thatguy321]

I mean why rehash what is already over? Itd be like ripping off a scab on a giant cut

[AnimeDreama]

It's your right to receive closure. There is nothing selfish about it. If she indeed did strong you along and was secretly dating another man, then you have every right to know why she did that to you.

[Johannaxo]

I think it's ok to ask for closure as long as its a one time thing, one final conversation to be done with it all. Anything more than that is asking for too much.

[MissMarvelous]

I view closure as selfish only if you're the one who messed up the relationship. Especially if you never tried to make things work.(You're not selfish)

[Asker]

What if though, in her mind, she views you as the problem, and the guy asks for closure (although the guy felt he did nothing wrong)

then is that selfish?

[MissMarvelous]

No, If that other person views you as doing something wrong then, that's their opinion. It's not factual. Any relationship where someone feels,"Strung along,"isn't good. You didn't do anything wrong therefore, you're not wrong asking for closure. You just want to move on, there's nothing wrong with that. And you're asking for peace for you both.

[orangeLotus]

I think it's normal. I think it's selfish of a person to only be thinking of themselves and not give someone closure if they need it.

[Execu]

Depends on the situation but I would personally just leave it dead and assume she's a bitch.

[Asker]

in my situation, yeah she's a bitch. im asking about the topic in general though, not my personal scenario. is asking for closure selfish?

[Execu]

Depends how you left it off. Could be if it ended badly because you're bringing up memories causing them to be into a bad mood, so you can have closure. On the other hand selfish people think everyone else is selfish when they aren't the center of attention so...

[Asker]

Interesting, me asking for closure would cause her to possibly Confess to being a cheating scumbag, so maybe I'm selfish for bringing up those memories with the questions I woulda asked her?

[Execu]

Well if she cheated she's already a major cunt so she's just defensive and pissy, probably where 'selfish' came from.