Should I ask to get closure or let it be?

[Anonymous]

My ex dumped me via snapchat of all places like a coward and deleted me off everything then two days later was back on the dating app we met on and changed a couple pics (a friend stumbled on his profile) fast forward a year he returns to "apologise" for hurting me he's all "churchy" so no sex before marriage but coerced me into stuff in an exhausted vulnerable state and has since ghosted me but I've vaught him. in another lie from our recent interactions... I kind of want to ask him if he ever loved me to have went back on the dating app so soon after dumping me or if it was all a lie but then I'm a bit afraid too but feel like I want closure in some way he hurt me a lot... I just want to know if I ever mattered to him... what should I do? 😅

[Oliverlogan263]

Honestly luv, it doesn't really sound like getting closure from this dude would be worth it. If he dumped you over Snapchat after going back on the dating app right away, that says everything you need to know about how little he truly cared.

I'd let it go if I were you. The best closure is living well and moving on without him. He's shown his true colors already multiple times - going back on lies, leading you on emotionally then ghosting again. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing he's still in your head.

You deserve way better than some flakey dude who plays games. Surround yourself with people who treat you with respect. Hit the mall, play video games, whatever makes you feel good. Before you know it he'll be a distant memory. You got this luv, on to bigger and better!

[Asker]

That's very true... I guess sometimes it just lingers especially when his profile pops up when I'm browsing online a little pang of anger/resentment/sadness etc gets me thinking and I guess I need to keep reminding myself it was a lie the whole thing...

Thank you for your kind words, and it's true I am going to create new memories and attempt to make some new friends 😊 I also recently got rid of a terribly toxic friend too and they were my main contacts otherwise I focused on work, but I might try and get out there a bit now 🙂

[Oliverlogan263]

You're so right, it's totally normal for those lingering feelings to come up sometimes after getting hurt like that. Breakups always suck, especially when the other person turned out to be such a jerkface liar.

But you seem like you've got a really good head on your shoulders. Cutting out the toxic people in your life, focusing on you and your goals - that's huge mama. Shows how strong you are. And yeah, putting yourself out there to meet some new chill friends sounds like a great idea.

Maybe check out if your local game shop or comic book store has any cool weekly events, that's usually a more laid back scene to start hanging. Or what about an intramural sports team, those are always low-key ways to socialize. You'll be feeling better in no time luv, just keep keeping on! And hey, if you ever wanna talk or grab a pizza and shoot hoops sometime, hmu!

[Asker]

Aww thank you so much 😊 I live a but rural so it's a but tricky everything of interest events wise us usually hours away 😅 but I'm going to aim to venture out more and try to go to these events and such. I'll definitely have a look and see if the game shop etc has anything on, I never thought of that so thank you for that tip! 🙂 and thank you I appreciate that and vice versa, you seem like a lovely person. Thank you for the great words to help remind me to get out of the slump 😊

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey luv, no problem! I'm just glad if any of my rambling was helpful. Rural life can definitely make things more isolated, but you've got this. Just takes some creativity sometimes.

Seriously, do NOT sleep on checking out that game shop. You never know who you might meet! Even if it's just talking to the workers for now, sometimes little interactions like that turn into connections down the line. And I bet if enough girls started going, they'd be more open to hosting fun mixers and stuff.

Don't be afraid to put yourself out there a bit. Most people are usually down to chat if you seem friendly and approachable. Just casually ask someone what games they like, see where it goes. And hey, even making online gaming pals can improve your mood so much, even if you aren't in the same town.

You seem super cool, so I know dope people are gonna wanna be your friend once they meet you. And hit me up anytime - I'm always down for virtual wine nights and bad reality TV watching parties, haha. Distractions help so much with moving on. You've got this girl! Keep your head high. ❤️

[Asker]

Thanks Hun, you seem like a great person too and you have helped ro make me feel a but better about myself 😊 I truly appreciate it x

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem Queen! Always hear if you need someone to hype you up. Breakups are the worst, but you'll get through this stronger than ever. Gotta look out for each other, ya know? We girls gotta stick together.

It sucks being stuck in a small town after something like that. But don't let some lame boy make you forget how awesome you are! You do you, keep doin your thing. Eventually you'll meet someone who appreciates you for you.

Til then, surround yourself with your gal pals. Have a self care night with face masks and rom coms. Kick back and live your best life! You go girl. We're all here for you if you ever need an ear. Keep smashin it luv!❤️❤️🌹

[AmeerX]

Leave him. Learn from this and settle with someone who is serious about life

[Asker]

Thank you

[petitedollbabee]

Weigh up whether interacting with him again is worth it. It’s very unlikely that he will take accountability for his actions, in terms of apologising or telling you whether he loved you or not. So by reaching out to him, you’re more likely to just open the door to him being hurtful rather than you receiving any ‘closure’. Is it worth the risk?

[Asker]

That's very true... he came back a year later to apologise but i think it was a fake apology.. I don't trust what he tells me anyway... he's manipulative... he manipulated me into the relationship as I didn't want to date first up only wanted to be friends then somehow we were dating and I fell for him and he hurt me it was all his doing... not very churchy the way he acts etc... part of me wants to know at times but part of me doesn't and part of me wants to make him regret hurting me but I'm not petty or vindictive so wouldn't do that 🤣 then some days I'm busy and don't think of him and I'm fantastic and slaying as the young folk say lol

[Danny_dan92]

Let it be. He’s a coward

[Asker]

Thank you. You're right, he truly is