Me and my ex were together for 3 years. We also work together which is now very unfortunate lol. This has been the longest relationship both of us have ever had. I am 24 (yes my age isn’t accurate on my profile), he is 30.
We broke up because he is moving to another country in the next few years and I told him I just can’t leave my family and obviously continuing this would be a waste of both of our time. Also because of his background (he is Iranian), his parents are extremely strict and are very unaccepting of people that don’t fit the career that they want them to have and threaten to disown him if he doesn’t do what they say. He lets his parents control his life.
Despite all this , we broke up 3 months ago but nothings really changed. It is very hard for us to break this off entirely. We talked on the phone every night. Some nights either of us would bring up how we missed being together. But this would be a huge waste of time to continue. We also were intimate a few times after the break up as well.
Yesterday however, I told him I just can’t do this anymore and he asked what he can do to make sure I can heal and move on. He told me he still has feelings for me but he tries to suppress them because he knows we cannot go back to that place and that a part of him still loves me. We agreed to stop the phone calls as of yesterday because it brings back too many emotions and makes us argue at work.
How do I let him go? I can see how much this is also affecting him in our workplace because he doesn’t and to argue and he came up to see if I was okay today but honestly this is just making it worse because every time I see his face I want to break down and cry:
We broke up because he is moving to another country in the next few years and I told him I just can’t leave my family and obviously continuing this would be a waste of both of our time. Also because of his background (he is Iranian), his parents are extremely strict and are very unaccepting of people that don’t fit the career that they want them to have and threaten to disown him if he doesn’t do what they say. He lets his parents control his life.
Despite all this , we broke up 3 months ago but nothings really changed. It is very hard for us to break this off entirely. We talked on the phone every night. Some nights either of us would bring up how we missed being together. But this would be a huge waste of time to continue. We also were intimate a few times after the break up as well.
Yesterday however, I told him I just can’t do this anymore and he asked what he can do to make sure I can heal and move on. He told me he still has feelings for me but he tries to suppress them because he knows we cannot go back to that place and that a part of him still loves me. We agreed to stop the phone calls as of yesterday because it brings back too many emotions and makes us argue at work.
How do I let him go? I can see how much this is also affecting him in our workplace because he doesn’t and to argue and he came up to see if I was okay today but honestly this is just making it worse because every time I see his face I want to break down and cry:
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Oh luv, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Breakups are the worst, especially when you still work together. A few things I would suggest:
- Cut all contact outside of work - no phone calls, texts, talking one-on-one. Keep interactions strictly professional if you have to talk.
- Spend time with your girlfriends. Have a movie night, do your nails, vent about how you're feeling - let them support you.
- Download a meditation app and do short sessions daily. Focusing on your breathing can help when those sad feelings hit.
- Plan something fun for the weekends like happy hour with the girls, a museum trip, anything to get your mind off things.
- It's okay to be sad, but also try to keep busy so you're not dwelling on him. Even cleaning or rearranging your room can be distracting.
- With time and distance the emotions won't feel so intense anymore. Just try to minimize contact at work until then.
You deserve to be with someone who can fully commit without all these obstacles. I know it hurts now boo, but you've got this! Lean on your girl gang, treat yourself with love, and soon you'll be feeling stronger. 💜
Celebrate!!! You got out alive. Wtf were you thinking anyway? He’s in his 30’s and his parents are still dictating his life? Your in-laws would have made your life a living hell.
I guess you are right. If he’s going to let his parents run his life like that, especially in that culture, he’s gonna end up having an arranged marriage or he will settle for somebody he doesn’t like all that much but his parents would approve of. One of my coworkers that he speaks to sometimes told me mark her words, he’s gonna end up circling around years down the line and really regret this if he ever realizes his parents have basically taken his life away. She believes he really loves me but is obviously going to choose them if they’re threatening to basically disown him.
I think the only solution is to date and try to find a guy you enjoy being with
@strawberrybaby3 Thank you for the Like