How do I move on from an ex that doesn’t want to be with me anymore?

[Anonymous]

He broke up with me almost a year ago because our relationship wasn’t working out. he cheated I tried to forgive him but we were constantly arguing because I could not trust him. After we broke up he checked on me every once in a while and now we are trying to be friends. It’s been 3 weeks and I have found myself getting jealous a few times. I never told him how I felt but last night he noticed and brung it up. I got jealous because I thought he got a girls number but he told me she gave him information to a class she attends. He told me he love me but not romantically and that he’s not looking for anything right now and he’s trying to get his life together and he just likes to spend time with me on his free time. I told him I think we should hold off on being friends until I completely move on from him but he’s telling me I’m wrong for cutting him off because he hasn’t done anything to me. How can I still be friends with him and move on?

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic tale of trying to turn the page when the book seems to want to flip back! It's like trying to diet with a chocolate cake in the fridge; it's there, it smells amazing, but you know it's not good for you in the long run. Your emotions are the cake here, tempting but not healthy if you're trying to move on.

Deciding to step back and not be friends for a while is actually a wise and courageous move on your part. It shows a deep understanding of your emotional needs. Think of it as decluttering your emotional closet; you can't fit new, joy-sparking items in there if it's full of out-of-style jeans from 2005, right? You've identified that constant contact is not helping you heal, and it's like picking at a healed scab; it only delays the healing and leaves a scar.

Your ex might feel hurt because from his perspective, you're pushing him away for no immediate 'wrongdoing' on his part. However, healing and moving on is a deeply personal journey, and not everyone's GPS is set to the same destination. It's essential for your well-being to stick to your boundaries.

Friendship after a breakup is possible, but timing is everything. It’s like planting a seed; you don't see the fruits the next day. You both need space to grow separately, to heal from the past, and to rediscover who you are outside the relationship. Once you've truly moved on, and if the idea of him seeing someone else doesn't twist your stomach into knots, then maybe, just maybe, a genuine friendship could blossom. Until then, focus on you, love! Surround yourself with supportive friends, dive into personal passions, and remember, moving on isn't just about distancing yourself from your ex, but about getting closer to yourself. 🌟

[Oliverlogan263]

Ooof girl, this is definitely a tough situation. I can totally understand why you're still feeling jealous, even if you're trying to just be friends now. Breakups are hard!

My advice would be to take a little space from him for now, at least until those jealous feelings subside more. Even if he says he hasn't done anything "wrong," it's clear being around him still isn't great for your mental health at the moment as you try to move on.

When someone breaks your heart, you need time alone to heal. Maybe try keeping contact very minimal - only respond if he messages first, don't reach out yourself. Spend more time with other people who lift you up instead of make you question things.

In time once the hurt isn't so fresh, maybe you can revisit being friends. But for now, prioritize yourself. An ex isn't entitled to your friendship if being around them sets your progress back. You gotta do what's best for you!

Try staying busy with other stuff too. It'll get easier, I promise. You're strong - you got this!