She left me 9 months ago. I've moved on and currently back into the dating scene. Even though I've been doing out on a date but I can't forgive myself for taking my then girlfriend (now ex girlfriend) for granted. I failed her and dragged her for too long.
She was very clear on her goals and timeframe from the beginning and I still took her for granted. She broke up after 5 years of seeing no progress, failing my promises and constantly being unpunctual on some of our dates. I realized my mistake and tried to make things right. I tried winning her back. I did asked her twice and both times she said NO, explaining how it's too late and she doesn't think about any future with me anymore nor cares. She sounded hurt and upset that it took a bad break-up for me to do what she's been waiting for all this time and said to not contact her again. Understandable. I've basically exhausted her to the point of no return. I regret it.
She's never coming back but truth be told, if I had the chance to turn back clocks, I would've committed to her 2-3 years earlier. I wasted her years and she's now 29. How can I forgive myself?
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This sounds like my ex and now my current boyfriend. I honestly don't know, maybe take up yoga? Go to therapy to sort out your commitment/atachment issues?
Never allow yourself to do this to anyone else, that will help. My ex is doing the same thing to his new girlfriend and it's breaking my heart all over again, I don't know her though, so there is nothing I can do to stop her suffering the way I did.
Honestly, this sh1t hurts so bad that if I can't sort things out with my boyfriend I'm just going to marry an older man with money who IS ready because he's like 50. My family will be horrified but I don't care anymore. I'm 28 so I might as well use the youth I have left to get myself a nice lifestyle, I'll be a pretty status symbol for him, and I'm sure we could travel and have lots of fun experiences together even if it's not love.
I just can't go through this a third time.
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you too. We can be jerks and selfish sometimes. Tell you what... leave after the 2-3 year mark. It was indeed my fault and I deserved it. Though I did proposed twice after the break-up. I tried winning her back. I pleaded but she didn't want it anymore. If she had just given me this last chance, I would've gladly taken her to the courthouse tomorrow if she wanted a wedding very soon, any day, any time she wishes. Then I would impregnant her afterwards.
Here is the irony to this sad ending:
It took losing her forever to realize I want her in my life. Now I find myself wondering what's it like having kids running up to me and saying daddy. Now I want what she wanted earlier on. Stupid me.
I won't waste another woman's time ever again. My dating strategy has changed. It's now dating to commit and form a family. I don't plan on having a long-term relationship but rather 2 years at most. That way, there is no time wasted.
If she would just come back to me, say she changed her mind and accepted me once again, I would propose again for a 3rd time and proceed... but she's not coming back.
I can't give him two to three years the pain will kill me. 7 months has been painful enough, I've never felt so lonely and rejected in my life and he's okay with leaving me alone in this pain, if he really loved me he'd be here holding me and talking it out but he's not.
He sent me Andrew Tate videos even when I asked him not to because he cares more about how he looks to other men and putting me "in my place" than he cares about loving me. I can't survive this agony, I'm sure your ex felt the same way. I want him so bad and I want to love him with all my heart but I can't beg anymore, I can't communicate logically and clearly just to have him shut me out, I can't fight for a relationship ALONE. At least if I let go the pain will end instead of coming in cycles. I can't sleep, my chest hurts all day and night, I can't eat, I've gone from 115lbs to 107lbs in a week and a half! I'm already at BMI 17.5 which is underweight, there are physical symptoms to emotional neglect and abuse. I wish I could be strong enough to wait it out for him to realize what he has and fight for me but I can't, I will die. The constant feelings of neglect will ruin my mental AND physical health, that's why she couldn't wait around for you to come to your senses.
The fact you admit that means you shouldn’t blame yourself. We all make mistakes.
Yes and I wish I would've proposed earlier. I did tried 2 months after the break-up... twice. And she declined both times. It was too late. She wasn't interested anymore.
"i made an avoidable mistake, how do i feel sorry for myself" id expect this from a woman, not a 30-35 year old man hiding his identity out of shame and embarrassment.
Yes I made a mistake. It was my fault.