Ex girlfriend hurt me so bad! Why did she do this? I'm losing it.

My ex girlfriend dumped me 4 months ago. Within 2 weeks she was back with her ex boyfriend who she was in a 2 year relationship with before me. We were together for 7 months. When I heard this I poured my heart out to her in texts because she wouldn't talk to me on the phone. She just responded that our love was puppy love. And she really never loved me. She said she regretted even telling me these things because it was awkward. When we were together we always had fun. We loved each other and told each other it often. We talked about our future together and how we will travel and what will our first sons name would be. I was dead set on her being my wife in the future. She was perfect. I am very picky she is only my second serious girlfriend. I even moved to be closer to her a few states and changed careers...that's how strong I felt for her. I was so secure in that she loved me. Then she started to become distant. Not saying I love you back. And not wanting to hang out as much. And I asked her if she wanted out of the relationship and she said yes. She told me she didn't want a serious relationship. Its not you its me. And I was like I don't understand. And she was like I need to do this for me.

Well she broke up with her ex boyfriend she got back with. And guess what 2 weeks later she was with this other guy. Who was texting her while we were dating. She broke up with him and I took the opportunity to ask her to go to lunch. But she couldn't because of school and she didn't offer to reschedule. Well she got back with the guy. And she would text me out of the blue asking me what I was doing. This made me think she missed me. Well she got wind of this other girl in my life on Facebook. And asked me who she was. I told her that I still had feelings for her and missed her. She told me it was bad timing and that someone else was making her happy. She told me to date this other girl and take care of her. She told me that she will remember all the beautiful memories we had and would measure other guys up to how I spoiled her. I told her that I feel like its a shame that we are letting what was between us go. And I told her all my feelings for her, and asked if she missed me or had feelings for me. And she responded with I don't know what to say other than I'm happy. So then I told her not to text me and to please stay out of my life so I can move on. I told her that she obviously doesn't have feelings for me or she wouldn't chose this guy she knew for a month over someone who cared for her for 7. Well its been a week and I haven't heard from her. Also I deleted her from facebook and MySpace because I used to always check them. And when I saw she was having fun without me it hurt like hell.

Anyways now I am in a new state with no job, not as many friends, and missing the girl I wanted to marry. Everything has been affected by her leaving. I don't even really have the self confidence I used to with girls. I just don't know how to get over this. Why did she


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Most Helpful Guy

  • your situation sounds a lot like mine except I would never be able to tolerate the amount of hurt and pain this girl put you through. I was out of there within the first month of when I realized she was falling distant. but I missed her and I missed her badly. couldn't stay away for long. I came back and I let myself be used by her; entertained her is what I call it, when she was in another relationship. she got drunk once and made out with me just one day after she went on a break with her boyfriend. he was standing right there watching and I could see it hurt him. I thought she genuinely missed me but I guess I was wrong. and then I thought was this girl really worth keeping if she could just go around breaking peoples' hearts like they were nothing? I guess some girls are just really screwed up in the brains. they love the attention that's all. its been 11 months of NC for me and I still think about her alot. maybe in time the pain will fully go away. I can feel it subsiding as I try to move on with my life. but I'm not in the position to start dating and get my heart eaten again. I recommend you try to build your esteem up by doing things YOU love. pick up a skill, boxing, kungfu, cooking etc. it can be anything that makes you feel like you're worth something. don't force yourself to date because there's a time and a place for that in your future and it will happen. good luck and sorry for the long-ass answer!

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What Girls Said 3

  • I just wanted to say I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. When someone breaks up with you it feels like a death, because you are no longer allowed to talk to or see the person you loved so much. It sounds like this girl has been tied down and in relationships too much. Part of her is playing games with you, but the other part of her is being unselfish and telling you to go pursue other things because she is moving on. I don't think she will get far though because she keeps seeing all these guys and dumping them. She doesn't know what she wants. You should be mad at her though. Look at all the mean stuff she has done! You moved to a new state and made a lot of sacrifices for this girl. She brushed off your feelings and called it puppy love. Sorry to say I don't think it was considering you moved states away to be with her, and she must have contributed to your doing this somehow..by giving you a false impression of her feelings for you or something. No guy just ups and moves states away in "hopes" of settling down with a wishy washy person. She's a jackass. But in all honesty, you're better off finding out now then down the road had you gotten married. You will find a sweet girl and she will end up wanting you back and it will be too late, trust me. They always come crawling back. Good people always get ahead, you just have to wise up. Never take a risk like that unless you can land on all fours should someone leave you. It's nice to believe in true love and magic and stuff, but in this day and age anything can happen! Love with a whole heart, but always have a back up plan! The no job and no friends thing is not going to work for you. Any way you could move back home? It's hard enough to get over someone as it is, you don't need to do it in a new state with no job or friends. You sound like a nice guy just a little nieve to the whole game, and this lousy girl got you good. You can do better and you shouldn't dwell on it because she isn't. I couldn't get over the fact that she called it puppy love, id be seeking revenge..but that's kind of immature I guess. just figure better now than later on. 7 months isn't that bad, could have been 7 years! goodluck :)

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    • Wow you made me feel so much better. Thanks! I just don't know how she could do that to me. She told me so many things making me think we would be together always. I wish I had never met her.

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    • You are totally right on the money. That's crazy. She was 19 and I am 24! I know its a gap but I thought she was very mature for her age when I was dating her.

    • Well sometimes appearances can be deceiving. Maybe things were moving too quickly for her in 7 months and she thought she was going to get married before she had a life. its messed up but it's true. she had a 2 relationship before you and she's only 19? when did she ever live? she will realize in the end...they all do. but by then you will have a great girlfriend who will give you the world and never leave you. ur a good guy, keep your head up.

  • How old is she? When I was about 18, I used to take a lot of joy in torturing guys like this. It made me feel very special and beautiful. I didn't give a sh*t about their feelings. I had seen too many movies with the beautiful girl being chased by everybody and I wanted to be the most sought after girl in the world. I realise now that I had a lot of issues, probably to do with having a father who ignored me as a child. I wouldn't say I set out to play these guys, but I couldn't understand or care about the pain I put them through. I was too wrapped up in my own. I know it hurts baby, but this girl won't come back to you if you chase her. the best thing you can do is ignore her until she shows you some respect. She'll probably contact you when things go wrong with this other guy, but when it happens you must only accept her back if she chases you and if you can see that she has matured. She must prove herself to be worthy of you now, because she's being a douche bag right now.

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  • I don’t understand why she did that to you, She is so stupid. All I could say is that am glad that you moved to another State and hopefully you will forget about her soon. Find a new girl, and try to make your ex jealous, I bet she will be….. GOOD LUCK!

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What Guys Said 2

  • She did this to her ex and she would be doing this again. Stay away from her.

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  • she used you to find out that her true love was her ex boyfriend who she will cherish now knowing she almost lost him. I know its hard but you were her rebound to see if she really loved her ex. which she really does and they will have a long lasting relationship. you should just chalked it up as something you had to go through. it had nothing to do with you, her feelings were with her ex all the time. good luck

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    • its expected to have someone miserable come on here and try to make others just as miserable. you sound like you know exactly what your talking about... I am just as certain you are wrong. she will chase him back, likely has a myriad of mental issues and will not be in any long term relationships until she either grows up or gets help for whatever is contributing to her malicious behavior. to suggest a prediction as lousy as what you said is not a good sign for you either. ... healthy, normal, whole people do not end relationships like that... nor do they uproot someone only to send them back in pieces. that's not normal, its selfish, malicious and possibly connected to a deeper issue within her... she will do worse to the ex,, you could use a course or two in phsychology ... just the fact that you have determined they will have a long standing relationship is either your way of being a prick to someone who is In pain or you have no clue what your talking about

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