Why does my relationship that ended two weeks back makes me question myself as a person?

[Anonymous]

My ex (27M) and I (28) broke up two weeks back due to distance and constant bickering. He didn’t want to work on the relationship anymore and I had a hard time letting go. I now in my heart know it was the right decision but why do I feel so guilty. The way he treated me towards the end was so cold. I questioned myself a lot and blamed myself. I go through everything in my head like if I had done that or if I had done this. I’ve never felt this way in my life. Not about him or the relationship but just in general. I really am starting to believe maybe I’m one of those people who is not meant to find their partner to do life with. I’d really like to know if anyone has ever been through this before. I really feel unworthy of love. I’ve always tried my best given my all. What more can I do? What more can I say? But the one thing I sure as hell don’t regret is moving abroad to better my career and life. I’m proud I didn’t stay behind for love. My career is the only thing I can actually control in my life.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, don't be so hard on yourself. Breakups always screw with your head, it's totally normal to question things and feel guilty or blame yourself. Your ex probably didn't handle it great either from the sound of it.

Here's the thing - you took a chance on love AND you went after your career goals. That takes guts. Just cause it didn't work out with this one guy doesn't mean you're "unworthy" or not meant for a relationship. Tons of people go through multiple breakups before meeting the right person.

Focus on staying proud of bettering your life abroad. That was the right call for you. As for love, give yourself time to heal before diving into analyzing everything. Talk it out with friends if you can. You'll get perspective and realize it wasn't all your fault over time.

Keep putting yourself out there when you're ready. The right dude will appreciate a girl like you who goes for her dreams. You got this! Don't lose hope - there are definitely guys who would love to have a girl like you. Chin up luv!

[Screenwriter]

Well, if your career is more important than "love," breaking up was the best that you two could do.

However, though you can control a career to some extent, controlling a love relationship can only occur on one end: yours. There are two people in a relationship. It's a living breathing thing that requires input and commitment and time from two people. You can't "control". it.

Perhaps a love relationship isn't as important to you than your work at this time. But if you're second guessing yourself, maybe you're actually on the fence about love vs career.

A career can't share your life or keep you warm at night or go on vacation or raise a family with you. You can work and have a relationship too. Just not the one you WERE having when you went abroad.

But talk these things over with a therapist to see where you are inyour heart and mind. Good luck.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Sounds like what happened, happened for a reason, don't believe in incompability for love, that's only possible when we do it to ourselves and it all starts with that attitude that you won't ever find someone, you will, it just won't necessarily happen when you want it too, just unpredictable, don't feel bad tho, you know you made the right decision and I'm sure it will benefit him at some point as well, let time do it's thing.