What should I do if my ex’s female friend wants to be friends?

[Anonymous]

I met her through him and she invited me out this past weekend. I guess my ex didn’t tell her we’re broke up because she was shocked.

but she still wants to be friends. She told me this sucks because we all like you. But at the same time invited me to her birthday party where she told me she also invited my ex.

She’s a cool person but ultimately I don’t want to go to every group event if my ex is there. I’d

is it messy?

[Oliverlogan263]

That is kinda messy. I get why she wants to stay friends, but going to things where your ex will be there sounds awkward.

A few things I'd think about:
- Is this girl actually cool on her own apart from being his friend? If so, maybe you can still hang out one on one sometimes.
- Would your ex even care if you started hanging as just friends? Or would it bug him?
- Make sure you're over your ex for real before getting too close to his friends. Don't want any mixed feelings messing things up.
- For the party, I'd probably skip it since your ex will be there. Maybe just tell her you're still adjusting to the breakup.
- If you do hang with her, set clear boundaries. Like don't talk about your ex or let convos get weird.

Up to you how close you stay with her. But take it slow till you know where you're both really at. Breakups are messy - don't need to add to the drama if you can avoid it!

[integrale77]

Depends how things went with the split with your ex but it's possible to still be friends with your ex's friend.

You just might find times where they have to pick there loyalties. If this happens try not to judge your friend it happens some times.

[Asker]

The split was terrible. My ex and I aren’t on speaking terms. So I was a little hesitant of the friendship

[OlderAndWiser]

She may be inviting you because your ex wants an opportunity to reconcile and she is doing this to help him. Tell her that you would love to spend some time with her but you are not ready to see your ex.

[Wise4myage]

Then go hang out with her and the rest of her friends.