When a man keeps saying his ex is still obsessed with him does it mean the other way around usually?

[strawberrybaby3]

Updates

11 mo

I found out my ex has been seeing someone on and off and she keeps telling me he says I’m still obsessed with him even though I literally completely ignore him lol 💀

Updates

11 mo

1/2 Maybe it’s the way I’m explaining this but I feel like this question is very misunderstood. I am absolutely done with my ex boyfriend. We have 0 communication. He’s not keeping me around as an option. I started ignoring him completely a few months ago because I wanted to move on. We work together. Someone who we both work with from another location really liked him and they went out on a couple drives and she came to me saying he doesn’t seem normal (which he isn’t)

[Anonymous]

My ex is obcessed with me. She had a whole posion pen letter campaign against me. Accessing me of being a rapist and domestic abuser, she went to the police accessing me of stalking and harassment as well as false allegationsof rape, i lost jobs becauseof her. She set up multiple fake Facebook accounts to defame me. Tried to ruin the relationship with my wife by claiming I was sleeping with her, which caused massive problems because my wife thinks my ex is prettier than her just because she's thinner but she crazy and abusive. She tried to ruin our wedding. The only time I ever punched her was she thought it was perfectly acceptable to be abusive to my 4 year old daughter at the park with her grandmother I came across the scene when I arrived to pick them up. Punched her straight in the face, no talking. Judge threw out the assault charges and slapped a restraining order finally on her.

[b_lova]

He is using the thought of you to make himself sound like he is a great guy, so great that you, his ex, can't stop yourself from trying to be with him. His thought is that the new girl will overlook his flaws because she doesn't want to lose out on a guy that other women can't get enough of.

[bobalife]

Weird comment but I actually get the ick when guys say stuff like that about exes or other girls to make themselves sound more attractive or ego boost… it actually becomes the opposite for me because it makes me feel turned off and not sure I wanna continue

[Radiate143]

Yeah, I made the mistake of dealing with a guy like this. Sociopath.

[Radiate143]

He abso loves that ego boost. And or he is trying to triangulate you low-key saying, if you don't stay in line, my ex is ready and willing to take your place. May be true, may be false... it's very common manipulation from basic "men".

[Radiate143]

Read the update. If you stay you are consenting to be put on his hamster wheel. Get out now.

[strawberrybaby3]

Nope I have absolutely nothing to do with him

[strawberrybaby3]

Maybe I didn’t explain myself properly in the update but me and him haven’t talked in a few months, I started ignoring him. The girl he went on a few dates with said she really liked him but wanted to know if we were still together because she had a sense that he still likes me. She also picked up on it by the way he constantly says BS about me like I’m still obsessed with him when I haven’t spoken to him in months. A classic line men use. lol

[Radiate143]

He's basic. Dime a dozen. Most guys are like this these days.

[Lynx122]

I don't know a lot of people say things about their past relationships that aren't true just to make it look like they had nothing to do with the problems in the relationship and so they look better.

[Vegasrunner]

@strawberrybaby3 why would his current girl be talking to you? Sounds like she's just making this up he probably isn't thinking about you at all.

[strawberrybaby3]

You’ve very wrong about that lol, I know how he is and he obsesses over people for months, even years. She came to me asking if we were still together because she has a feeling that he isn’t over me, because of the comments that he makes. From experience, when a guy continuously speaks negatively about an ex , it usually means that there are feelings there, and he’s famous for bad talking people that he secretly still cares for.

[strawberrybaby3]

And he isn’t with her. They went out a few times and she said he was getting more and more depressed each time. He made up stories that weren’t even true - right up his alley as well.

[Vegasrunner]

@strawberrybaby3 Wait a minute, if he obsesses over people for years, then how long was he w/ you? Also if you "know how he is" doesn't that speak of more of your obsession w/ him. Also if she's telling you this that means she doesn't see you as a threat, plus how do you even know your ex's current girl? And what did he say that was negative about you?

[Vegasrunner]

@strawberrybaby3 You can't really take that at face value as that's just one side of a story. What did he say?

[strawberrybaby3]

We were together for 3 years. All of his other exes lasted literally no more than a month. He has an obsessive personality. He obsessed over exes, situations, ex friends. And I’m sorry , knowing how my ex boyfriend was because I was with him for 3 years means I’m obsessed with him? How does that work? It just means I know his personality, lol. And actually I see it the opposite way. She’s coming to me asking if we’re still seeing each other because she gets the sense that he still likes me and doesn’t seem to like her as much as he made it seem like in the beginning. I asked her why she feels this way and she said it’s something she just senses and I made it clear that I cut him off months ago. She said that’s what she thought, because he’s literally making up stories that I’m obsessed with him. And usually from experience, girls know that a man constantly bad mouthing his ex is either not over her or the situation.

[Vegasrunner]

@strawberrybaby3 Gotcha, so he had a lot of women b4 and now you're being treated like all of them. I accept your apology, but there's no need to apologize, and to answer your question yes, both are arbitrary definitions of obsession. But how would she even know you? Since you shared your antedoctal evidence I'll share mine. I've been w/ 100's of women and the odds that one of my new girls knows one of my old girls well enough to reach out and contact her is improbable. If these guy has as many ex's as you said then how is it possible that one of his old ones knows his new girl that well? Also by your own answer she never gave you a tangible reason she just "senses" so she isn't even making the claim that he's bringing you up. What's an example of "one of these stories"?

[jshm2]

No. It means he's thinking of a restraining order, or they both have a shit stirring friend in common.

[DishLady]

Not necessarily. It could just be that he's narcissistic.

[LaurenM1997]

It means you are his second option I’m afraid and yes that does hurt 😞

[strawberrybaby3]

We do not speak , I am not an option at all. He’s literally making this up.

[SoJust]

It shows that the man can't quite figure things out in his head and doesn't have confidence in his girlfriend

[strawberrybaby3]

They aren’t dating like that. She said he keeps ghosting her. And when he’s asked about me by her , he says the same thing every time and she said it made her sense that he’s not over me

[SoJust]

A person won't tell you the truth, you'll find the truth, like I said, he doesn't trust you, he thinks he loves his ex-boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Yuppp. It’s he whose obsessed not the other person. 😂men who manipulate it to be the exact opposite lol

[strawberrybaby3]

Yes exactly , thank you

[Opinion Owner]

I pity the girls he’s with now. She’s probably a rebound.

[strawberrybaby3]

So do I. That’s why she came to me , to ask if we were still together because as all of us have been through once in our lives, we KNOW when a man is not over their ex , even if they don’t say it. She said he’s never been consistent with her , disappears for weeks , never calls her and talks about me very negatively when I don’t even bother the guy. And never even wants to take her out, they went out once after me and her broke up, then he disappeared and tried to kind of work things out with me then when he could see he lost me , he was playing with her again. I told her I only knew him to be completely obsessed with me , so if he isn’t acting that way with you , it’s because he doesn’t like you.

[strawberrybaby3]

He keeps her very hidden and told her not to tell anybody. He was hoping to fuck her which never happened because she's MARRIED, they’ve only made out which she said sucked, and she said he only wants to go on drives with her. Yikes.

[Opinion Owner]

Damnnnnn. It’s good she had the brains to figure out he was the one who was obsessed with u , and not u with him.

[Opinion Owner]

Most insecure girls think the other girl is obsessed with her boyfriend , but it’s her boyfriend who’s extremely disloyal and drools over others

[strawberrybaby3]

The funny thing is they are not even dating. She said it wasn’t even anything that serious but she really likes him but can sense he played around with her and that his mind seems elsewhere. She told me when they first went out after we broke up he seemed happy which makes sense because at first men always feel relief , and the hurt hits later. He told her that I was already talking to other guys and I remember how much it bothered him so I think he was trying to one up me by going out with her. Then she told me right after that, for 2 months he disappeared , was speaking to me during that time and once we started to argue again and cut each other off, that’s when he started seeing her again. In January he was coming up to me at work with gifts apologizing saying that he’s still in love with me, then telling her he was so depressed because of me , because I am so obsessed and won’t let him go and is continuing to say that about me to this day.

[strawberrybaby3]

When I was with him he told everybody , and always showed me off. He isn’t doing the same with her because he’s using her , and because my boss made it very clear to him that he is not to date another coworker and he goes and does this. She told me the last time she saw him was 3 weeks ago and he barely wanted to touch her and seemed so depressed.

[Opinion Owner]

He was using her as rebound. at least she was smart enough to navigate his lies

[strawberrybaby3]

He never really had any friends and my coworkers warned me that he’s not a very good person and I’m the only woman who stood by him for 3 years. He always told me I’ve been the most loyal girlfriend and friend he’s ever had, which everyone knew was true. Every girl left after a month. Do you think it’s possible that because I really do not speak to him anymore that it’s hitting him hard now because our relationship was so long and intense? When we broke up, I was still around ; and we tried to be friends while seeing other people. But now that I’ve completely disappeared do you think this is what’s making him angry and causing him to gossip about me and be so depressed?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah obviously. He’s extremely bitter about it. No shit Sherlock

[strawberrybaby3]

😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 I guess I should just move on and take this as a compliment. What makes this worse for him is that I don’t think he ever suspected her to come and tell me everything after he told her not to tell anybody they were hanging out , and now he’s found out that I know all the shit he’s talking about me , even though he’s “over me” 😂😂😂😂

[Opinion Owner]

What not to tell anyone u guys are hanging out? 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Wtf. Wasn’t he bitching about u to people. Yeah true. Guys like him play games solely on the hope that these women won’t confront each other and talk. Because if they talked to each other he would be utterly exposed.

[Opinion Owner]

I always tell women , if u think your boyfriend is acting odd. Go talk to the other women he’s trying to make u jealous with. Chances are such a women gives no shit about him , or never knew he had a girlfriend. Such guys who act as if they are the poor ones sandwiched between 2 women are the orchestrators of the whole drama.

[strawberrybaby3]

Yes exactly you are totally right

[Opinion Owner]

Or if u don’t have the opportunity to talk to the other women. Or if circumstances are such. Portray as if u are friends with her. Like act close. Go stand near her , not too close. See how he reacts. If he’s utterly shocked and stays away he’s the liar. I mostly go stand near the other women in social gatherings so that even she can’t get away from me. And I saw my lying ex acting so weird. Like why can’t he just stand near me while I stand next to her lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Or tell him lies that she’s close to one of your close friends. This way he will know he’s not the only source of information u receive about her. And u can easily reach out to her through other people if u wanted to

[strawberrybaby3]

Yup I agree. And sorry just to correct one of your replies , he told her not to tell anyone that they are hanging out , not that me and him were hanging out. He always showed me off and told everyone we were dating. It’s not a great sign that he wants to hide her and doesn’t want anyone to know.

[Opinion Owner]

What. He made it that obvious he was using her? 🤣

[strawberrybaby3]

Yes because he isn’t smooth lol. He only took her out once like I mentioned , when we broke up. Every other time has just been for drives to talk about business , and they made out. She never wanted to have sex with him because she is married and she said she’s ashamed of herself for doing this. He apparently asked a few times but didn’t seem desperate. My coworkers think he was using her as an ego boost then started slowly disappearing on her and only driving around with her now because he isn’t really attracted to her but doesn’t have any women that want him; so he has to settle for a married 50 year old woman.

[Opinion Owner]

lol 🤣🤣🤣. Yeah she was a rebound /ego boost.

[strawberrybaby3]

I told her what were you thinking? Not only are you married but I know how his behaviour is when he likes someone. He will call you all the time, want to take you out to restaurants, show you off etc. and she said he does absolutely none of those. But he did all of that with me. I told her she is married and an older woman, no offence but that doesn’t look good for him , especially after he dated me (I’m actually 24 not the age I put here) . It’s a major downgrade. She said she knew it wasn’t gonna be a relationship but she really liked him and he just pulled away from her and now only texts her once a week and barely puts in any effort to see her. She told me he did say he liked her in January but knew it was a lie probably just to try and get in her pants and then never said anything like that again. And during that month he’s telling me he loves me and bringing me gifts , then telling her I won’t let him go 🤣🤣🤣 completely fucked up guy.

[DrPepper12]

He's flattering his ego or lying to new person about they you broke up

[Kimberly1979]

He’s still got her on speed dial and if you do anything he won’t hesitate to do so.

[strawberrybaby3]

I completely ignore him. I’m not doing anything , so I don’t understand

[Radiate143]

Actually, his plan is working on you. Very well.

[strawberrybaby3]

@radiate143 and why would that be?

[strawberrybaby3]

@Radiate143 if anything he’s actually the laughing stock of our workplace now because he never dreamed of her telling me everything he’s said about me so now he looks like he isn’t over me and everyone is laughing at the fact that the woman is 50 and married. His little secret blew up right in his face.

[Radiate143]

Ok. No problem. You still have quite a bit of energy invested in the situation. You're posting about it and writing the details and absolutely getting validation and gratification from it. Not that you shouldn't. I would too. I'm just saying narcissistic people like negative attention and vibes too. As long as it's flowing in their direction. Take care of yourself.

[strawberrybaby3]

Ok that’s true, I see your point. But as far as me actually communication with him and him being able to have me as a back up, he 100% does not , no matter what shit he tries to pull lol. And I honestly don’t even think he planned on me reacting to this because he did not plan on anybody finding out or for that woman to actually come to me and spill everything he’s been saying.

[Radiate143]

I've been in a similar situation. He still has a shot with you. No tea no shade. I have been here. That's all. I hope for your sake he can't get at you in a moment of weakness. Because That's how these bottom feeder guys operate.

[strawberrybaby3]

This is true , thank you for the heads up. If he ever for any reason contacts me again, he won’t get anywhere with it. He can have the old married cheater. What garbage he is lol.

[Radiate143]

Why is he even able to contact you?

[strawberrybaby3]

He’s not he’s blocked on everything but before he was calling me on no caller ID and I do have to see him at work a couple times a week.

[Widower2022]

I'd say that's generally true. Else why would he be noticing?

[avery58]

From what I've seen, yeah, usually

[Ms_Facesitter]

That could be the case. Or the ex turned stalker.

[jahaims]

He shouldn't even have contact with an ex

[CubaPirate]

Not necessarily

[WhitneySnow]

Very often it does

[eagle1951]

nope