Why did he want to stay friends after breaking things off?

[Anonymous]

[ProbablyClueless]

He might just like being around you. Or maybe he wants to keep the door open. Or he might just be someone who hates having unresolved tension with people.

I know that I'm not a fan of unresolved tension. I would rather just be able to talk with whoever I want to talk with, whenever I want to talk with them. I keep my conflicts with people super compartmentalized and I'm not the type to hold grudges, so after we break up, I would consider it a sign of growth if we could just be cordial/polite without things be awkward.

[Asker]

Well he really put a ton of work into his words in our last conversation. He seemed to really want to be my friend or at least in my life.

[ProbablyClueless]

Certainly could be! Sometimes people genuinely like each other, but they recognize that the connection is better as a friendship than a romantic entanglement. Would you consider him an emotionally mature and self aware person?

[Asker]

We have a big age difference. By like 21 years. Tbh I don’t think he’s really mature at all. He still uses Snapchat 😂
We’re really attracted to eachother physically or so it seems. He constantly told me I’m hot and sexy a lot.

[ProbablyClueless]

Ah... that definitely changes things. I'm gonna switch my answer more to him keeping the door open to hit you up again for sex sometime.

[Asker]

Im so confused. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to take on a date or anything. Other guys don’t really treat me this way.

[Asker]

We didn’t have sex when we hung out. I didn’t let him take my clothes off.

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like he's just decided that you and he aren't a good romantic match. It's tough to say without knowing the full situation, but that's how it reads from here.

[Asker]

He might not even like anyone like that. He’s always single, never been married or have kids and he’s almost 50.

[Ironic_Method]

Just because a relationship doesn't work, doesn't mean friends won't. I imagine most people tend to like at least some qualities of the people they date.

[Explorer91]

Doesn't have romantic feelings to you anymore but still likes your personality and things about you. So he still wants to be a part of your life just doesn't want to take you - hence breaks up but still wants to be friends - loves you as a friend just not as a lover.

[Asker]

Yeah except I broke things off with him.

[Danny_dan92]

Keep you around

[Asker]

I broke up with him though

[Danny_dan92]

Doesn’t matter

[Asker]

I don’t think we’ll be friends. I’m looking for a relationship so I’ll move on

[Danny_dan92]

If you just broke up, give it some time

[Asker]

Thanks 😊

[Danny_dan92]

For your own good, rebound relationships never work

[Asker]

Tbh I kind of think I jerked him around too. Mostly cuz things weren’t progressing between us. I cut him off before because I didn’t think he had feelings and then he told me it hurt his feelings.

[Danny_dan92]

Those are indicators of a relationship that isn’t meant to be.