He ended the relationship but is pushing to be friends?

Question

We was friends for many years and somehow the friendship grew into a relationship. We was together 9 years, and out the blue he ends things with me. I say out the blue, but he was distant the 6 months prior, which made me question him a lot, and love bomb him a lot, I felt I loved him more whilst he was loving me less. Never the less, he ended it. I was hurt, like I have never been hurt before. I felt my soul get sucked from my body and I didn’t think I was ever going to make it out alive, but 6 months later I found some peace and began to feel a sense of life again. Throughout the 6 months after he ended things we didn’t speak atall, he wished me happy birthday and so did I to him, but that was the only communication between us. Even though didn’t want him to leave me; I respected his decision to separate. I went through months of hell, but I never went to him with my pain. Then 6 months ago he began texting me again, he has a new girlfriend who he says he loves, but has began texting me the past few months. I will add it’s weekly/ fortnightly, monthly, etc nothing like a relationship style texting. And there isn’t much in the texts other than inviting me out with mutual friends, I reply politely but I’m brief and close the conversation down. New Year’s Eve, after 3 weeks of hearing nothing from him he sends me this song, and asks me to come out with mutual friends. I’m not sure what to make of his mannerism. I didn’t accept, and told him to stop messaging me, mainly because I am still hurting and healing and him messaging sets me back months. I see he is happy in his current relationship, and he maintains that he doesn’t love me anymore, but still wants to remain good friends. I’m not even sure what I’m asking, but what are people’s thoughts on the situation. Can exs meet as friends? I still love him, and it hurts to know he’s loving someone else, but I’m not controlling or possessive and more than anything I want him to live a happy life.

BasedBaeBecca · Answer

Unfortunately, your ex seems to be keeping you around as a backup and a safety net. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too, by maintaining contact with you while being involved with another person. It's selfish and inconsiderate of him to keep reaching out to you when he knows that it's setting you back in your healing process.

Yes, exes can meet as friends, but only if there's no residual romantic attachment or feelings. It sounds like you're still not over him, so it's not healthy for you to keep in contact with him right now.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like he just needs a backup receiver to catch the ball of the other receiver can’t for whatever reason.

jahaims · Answer

Being friends with an ex is retarded

He ended the relationship but is pushing to be friends?

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