What made you realize that your S.O. is/isn’t “the one”?

[Anonymous]

If you realized that they are not the one, do you immediately end the relationship? When did you realize that they are/aren’t the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Would love to hear about your stories, so please do share!

[wolfcat87]

Almost two decades of them seeing me at my best and my absolute worst and still thinking I'm the moon and stars to them and no one else compares... Love like that doesn't show up every day 🥰 Them reminding me on a daily basis how much they want to be here with me and share their life with me. It all just does something funny to me on the inside.

There were other relationships where the love dynamic was lopsided. One loved too much more and the other cared too little. We sometimes were too incompatible. They weren't making my life better, they were making it worse. Those had to end for my love life to improve and allow me to meet the people best for me.

[Asker]

Aw I’m glad you found your sun ☀️

[bobalife]

Deep down in your heart you knew and those uncontrollable thoughts keep occurring when it doesn’t feel right anymore and the agony doesn’t stop… but it’s one of those common “we were together for too long” and the deep love to just let it go right away despite it all… because you choose to stay and love, but also have a choice to choose loving yourself and what is best for you. It’s a grey area zone.

[Asker]

I know what you mean, had that feeling with my ex… it’s hard to accept sometimes tho

[bobalife]

Same, the hardest thing was accepting that it is over and there’s no longer an “us” in the future, they weren’t your person afterall, everything you build together and for… won’t happen anymore…. it’s just a far away memory and time… and now strangers again.

[Asker]

Exactly 🥲 all the years you’ve spent together

[Anonymous]

Her manipulativeness. On the surface she seemed like a caring person. But over a long enough timeline I learned it was all one carefully crafted act. When I started pulling on a thread it unraveled it all. Then I felt dumb because I knew this woman for years. And never saw all the red flags.

I don't regret it though because I think this experience has made me more wary of women and their motives. But I'm also sad about it because I feel like there is a part of me that will never trust completely like that again and that's unfortunate.

[Asker]

Oh gosh sounds dreadful… did it take you long to finally realize her games?

[Opinion Owner]

About a decade. We were only together for about 3 years. Of that though. The last year was me trying to extricate myself from it.
I don't think she's a horrible person. I just think she does not know how to have a healthy relationship. And so I feel bad for her. But not so bad that I want to be involved. I know she would pull me back down into the sludge. I still wish her the best.

[Asker]

Oh wow glad you managed to get out of that situation before it was too late. I agree, I think some people just have unresolved issues that they themselves might not be aware of and it shows up when they’re in a romantic relationship.

[Dargil]

Short version. It was peaceable at first, but she became more and more a Karen. At first, she was just picky (where I put my shoes, etc.) but then acted more and more like an abusive husband; some violence, powerful efforts at manipulating, threats and aggressive makeup sex to attempt to appease me. When she was at work, I packed everything she owned in boxes and put them on the front porch... and changed the locks. Passive-aggressive? Yes, but I'm not cruel.

[Asker]

Damn… some people are good at hiding their true colors until later on, glad you managed to escape!

[Dargil]

Its not so much that I was submissive, just raised as a WASP which venerates women, sometimes to a fault. I knew she was Beelzebub, but I made the best of it. But there was no best.

[Asker]

Nah the fault’s all on her, no one should be treated the way she treated you

[Dargil]

True as that is, we all need to keep our sensors sharp. I acquiesced a bit too much.

[exitseven]

We had a long distance relationship for 3 years. I did not put much effort into the relationship but one day I flew 1500 miles to see her and she showed up at the airport wearing a dirty hooded sweatshirt with her hair in some weird perm. She told me that she almost forgot to come to the airport and pick me up. That moment I did not see her the same way. I tried not to think about it but finally a few months later I called her late one Saturday and broke up with her

[Asker]

Sometimes it just takes one moment for you to realize /:

[exitseven]

* she did not put much effort into the relationship*

[Asker]

Oh yeah that’ll do it…

[msmissydc]

It wasn't the ONE thing. It was like the opposite of 'death by a thousand cuts'😅. A myriad of small lovely things to love about him. Realizing them on by one totaled to him be the ONE for me.

[Asker]

Aw that’s sweet! and that’s right you gotta appreciate the little things

[sheikalana]

We’ve been through a really tough period early on in our relationship. If that didn’t break us nothing will. Made me realize that doesn’t make any sense for me to be with another man or have kids with another man.

[Asker]

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

[sheikalana]

Absolutely!

[worldscolide]

When my ex started hitting me, controlling me, spying on everything I did, demanding access to corporate emails. When I kicked her out she chose to slice my face up..

[Asker]

The reddest of red flags…

[IslaTheWitch]

He did. He put divorce papers on the kitchen table and moved out

[Asker]

Oh man, at least he made it clear

[IslaTheWitch]

Yeah, this was the best part. The rest is a mess in German/Polish law...

[SweetDripp]

When he broke up with me, I quickly realized he wasn’t the one 😂

[Asker]

Straightforward lol

[OddBeMe]

U bet most people just keep on keeping on. Kinda humans thing.

[Asker]

Oh for sure, I almost got “trapped” until I realized that I was just in denial about my ex not being the one bcs we were already together for so long

[Anonymous]

Probably not right away, unless I have dated the person for a long enough time to know they aren't the one.

[Asker]

What made you come to the conclusion that they aren’t the one tho usually?

[Opinion Owner]

Just. a gut feeling that wouldn't go away.

[Asker]

Makes sense, you just kinda “know”. Thanks for sharing your opinion!

[Opinion Owner]

Your welcome.

[Anonymous]

Her stupidity, but we are for 16. years togheter so kinda sad

[Asker]

Aw man that sucks… all of those years

[Opinion Owner]

yeah it really does

[Fireguy17]

I missed her when she wasn't around.

[Asker]

Distance do make the heart fonder sometimes!

[Fireguy17]

true

[Jkgordon]

The day I realize he was your ally full of shit

[Jkgordon]

Does anyone know how to correct typo errors on here?

[Asker]

I don’t think you can tbh 🥲

[NamerOfStars]

Zathras.

[Asker]

Lol okay!