Girlfriend dumped me over a birthday present?

[TemplarKnight]

2 months ago, it was my ex-gfs birthday. I got her a bracelet, but she complained that she didn't like it. Complained it wasn't expensive enough.

I then went and got her a designer bag, from a guy, but i didn't realise i got scammed. My ex-gf (who was my girlfriend at the time) dumped me on the spot when she took it to the store to get it verified.

Im shattered, Heartbroken. But it makes me wonder. Is this normal female behaviour? Is this a valid reaction?
Should I even be upset? Is she just materialistic and only wanted me for money? I dont know if this is worth mentioning but 2 months ago she had to put a Mirena IUD in (its a form of hormonal birth control) due to bleeding issues and since then I noticed her behaviour has changed. Since then I feel that she has been unrecognisable.

Updates

2 mo

i bought the bag from a seller cause i wanted to save money. And i didn't realise i got scammed. I've never bought designer

[Camomila2]

As a woman, this is not normal behavior. If she didn't like the bracelet you got her... well, that's a bummer. She could have let you know in a nicer way. Now, to break up with you because the DESIGNER BAG you got her was a fake... that shows you where her heart is. Where your heart is, there lies your treasure. Clearly, she is showing more interest in the material items you are providing her with. These things can be talked about calmly and in a rational matter. You don't want to date someone/have someone like this in your life. Do not remain in contact with her and leave her.

[TemplarKnight]

yep, i went out of my way to get her a bracelet that i thought she'd like, but she complained. That already set off a lot of red flags in my head but i loved her, so i got another gift to make her happy. I didn't realise it was fake and that i got scammed.
She dumped me for that instead of being on my team and telling me that i was scammed. Instead she took it out on me. Shows me what she really was all about, all along. Im shattered.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, my answer is specifically on what you wrote. I don’t know this girl and am not sure what the entirety of your relationship was like but, it sounds like she wanted to be flourished with expensive things. Is there a reason she may have had this behavior with you? Like, did she think you were rich? Did she ever come off as a person who expected only nice things? Did you ever notice this behavior before?
It sounds like she only she cares about money based on what you wrote. If she didn’t think you were rich and didn’t appear as a gold digger- then I could only wonder if maybe she is a good girlfriend but sometimes feel under appreciated. She maybe really wanted to feel special on her birthday and was begging for an expensive gift and thought you would save up to get it…. How much was the gift? Because we can assume you spent a lot and she was ungrateful. And maybe you spent very little and she felt like you could’ve spent more.
I guess I would like more context.

[TemplarKnight]

she did give little clues throughout the relationship that she wanted me to buy things for her, but i was always confused cause she also said that she's not materialistic and doesn't care about price tag. She always told me relationship is about love not material things. However, her dumping me when i screwed up buying a fake shows me that she may have been materialistic all along.

[Opinion Owner]

It can mean that maybe she was materialistic or maybe felt like you were truly being too cheap. There is a difference. Sometimes it’s ok to show you love her by spending a little extra on her. I mean- buy me cupcake one year because ur on a budget, I understand. But every year after that- cmon, u can buy the whole cake at least once. That’s just an example to help u better understand what I’m trying to say. I’m not actually saying this is your situation.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that's messed up. Sorry to hear she dumped you over something so shallow.

Forget what her problem was - seems like she's the one with issues, not you. No way is that normal girl behavior to act so entitled and ungrateful.

You busted your ass trying to find her two gifts, and she dumps you just cause one wasn't legit? Total overreaction man. No need to feel bad at all - her loss, not yours.

And honestly yeah, sounds like she might have been using you for the cash and nice things. Real relationships ain't about material stuff.

Plus who knows what's really up with her since the birth control thing - hormones can mess people up good sometimes. Maybe that played a part in her changing tune.

Either way bro, don't stress it. You seem like a caring dude who tried your best - you'll find some girl who appreciates you for you. Give yourself time to heal, then get back out there when you're ready. You'll bounce back for sure!

[TemplarKnight]

thank you so much for the kind words brother. This happened a few days ago. I was absolutely devastated when she just messaged me out of nowhere "its over" when she took the bag to the Dior shop to get it verified. I was like what the hell?

Now that i know thats all she cares about, im honestly happy she revealed herself for who she really is

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's brutal. To just end it over text like that with no warning. Cold as ice on her part.

But you're totally right to see the silver lining - better now than finding out even later when you're more invested, you know? At least she showed her true colors before you wasted anymore time. That kind of shallow, materialistic chick ain't relationship material for sure.

And can you imagine if you guys had stayed together? She'd just keep demanding more and more expensive stuff and holding it over your head. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not what's in your bank account.

Still stings now, but be glad you dodged that bullet bro. Keep your chin up - once you're over the initial hurt, this will end up being the best thing that could've happened. You'll meet someone real soon who treats you right. Just focus on you and your homies for now. You got this!

[TemplarKnight]

the worst thing is, throughout the whole relationship she would always say, me and her are a team, i would never break up over one thing, communication is key, and i would never end a relationship over text. Then, just like that, she did the exact opposite to all of them. Broke up over text. Called the cops on me. Refused to communicate. I was shattered man but honestly now i realise what a snake she was and im glad she's gone.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that is just straight up cold. Who says all that stuff about being a team and communication then pulls the ultimate flaky move of ghosting and ending it over text? What a straight up backstabber.

I know it's gotta be messing with your head after she hyped up having your back no matter what, just to flip the script like that. Definitely gets the betrayal hurtin' deep. But you're right to see it as a blessing - at least now you dodged wasting any more years on a girl who would sell you out that fast when things got real.

Chicks like that, they're all talk. As soon as it's not fun and games anymore, they bail. But you? You held it down, kept it real. You deserve someone gonna ride for you through the ups and downs. She showed her true colors - and they ain't the ones for you, my bro. Keep your head high knowin' you stayed true to what really matters. Her loss!

[TemplarKnight]

hey man can you follow me

[Oliverlogan263]

Sure man

[Flatmanlewis]

Hate to tell you this man, because I know it’s going to hurt, but this wench is a selfish, materialistic, entitled, a**hole. She is clearly self-centered and narcissistic. She may love the way you fawn over her and you love her but, she does NOT love you. That’s a fact. You’re blind to it because men are blinded by women and they rob the mind of clarity. Listen to your mates and move on.

[TemplarKnight]

all of my guy buddies have said this. It hurts so much man but im honestly happy now that she showed her true colours

[Flatmanlewis]

Better to find out now than after you stuck a ring on her finger. We’ve all been there before, brother. Lean into your mates and learn from it for the next one.

[TemplarKnight]

im thinking if i married this chick she would've ruined my life later. I'm glad she messed up and revealed her true self now, we had talked of getting marrried and fuck man im so glad i didn't cause she wouldve taken all my shit.

[Finchie40]

You actually lucked out , she is a gold digger that is meant for the streets

[TemplarKnight]

the previous day before she dumped me, she was all lovey, clingy, then as soon as she got told the bag was fake she left me and never spoke to me again. Truly for the streets. No wonder she's 34 and was single for 8 years.

[Finchie40]

Yea sadly there is a lot of selfish people in this world and why so many relationships aren’t making it the long haul these days anymore I blame social media for a lot of the reasons why most people have become selfish , thinking grass is greener on the other side. So your ex is definitely a selfish person and she will continue having failed relationships until she learns how to remove selfishness , if she ever does. A girl that is after money is in for a rude awakening , she will be considered a whore before she knows it , if she keeps being selfish that way. She is a user , users will never experience true love , they will be left on the streets where they belong , mark my words , I had my fair share of user girls’ as well and now nobody wants them , because they are whores that only think about what is best for themselves , when someone has that selfish mindset , they will never last in a relationship , they will be used just like they use. Just the way it goes. Your wallet should never be a reason someone falls for you , always remember that , Money doesn’t buy love , Fond yourself a partner not a user

[TemplarKnight]

i wish i left her the minute she complained about the first birthday gift. It set off so many alarms in my head but because i loved her, i wanted to fix it. Now, i truly understand why she was single for so long before she met me. She lovebombed me and lured me in, then after a year of not buying her anything expensive, i finally did budge and buy her something, but i fucked up and didn't know i got scammed. When she thought i was scamming her, she left my ass cause really she was only in it for the money.

[Finchie40]

Sadly there are a lot of girls’ that have that selfish mindset , Gold digger sluts that chase after men that she feels will take care of her and pamper her like she is this Princess put on Earth to be catered to. Most females in general do not want to work , they feel they deserve to be treated like a Princess at all times , they watch those stupid ass lifetime romance shows and movies thinking that’s how she deserves to be treated , she also face plants herself into social media , comparing her life to others’ Girls’ that have that selfish mindset will never experience true love , she thinks her vagina is a sacred ground that she only allows a guy to enter if he meets all of her expectations. Sadly she was raised to believe that’s how she needs to be treated at all times. I stay clear from girls’ that act that way , I don’t care how hot she looks , if she doesn’t have a genuine heart I won’t want anything to do with her , I only like girls’ that want to work as a team , her and I against the world , A girl that loves me from the heart not a girl that loves me for my wallet , I would never pay a girl for sex , to me that is dirty and degrading and pure desperation, If I wanted to just get off , I would use my hand to jerk off , it’s a lot safer and cleaner then some girl that just spreads her legs for money. You should have dumped her ass the second she complained about the gift you got her , I dated girls’ that acted that way and they instantly became my ex. I am perfectly capable of making my own money and supporting myself , I don’t need a whore to empty
My wallet dry. If she doesn’t work and isn’t independent the other guy can have her. I have ghosted girls ‘ that put their hand out to me asking for money after we screwed the night before , I am like you must be fucking kidding me , Go back to the streets where you belong. Sadly a lot of girls’ don’t think like most of us men do , we want a partner not a fucking mooch , when I meet a girl that has her shit

[Finchie40]

Together and isn’t expecting me to take care of her and treats me with kindness from her heart , she doesn’t have to worry what so ever about me cheating on her , I will keep her by my side at all costs , Money has nothing to do with Love period. So be thankful she is no longer with you , you deserve way better than that whore

[TemplarKnight]

i always thought she was on my team, but she wasn't. She tried to ruin my life too when she realised the bag was fake. Man, i didn't even know it was fake. How the hell is it my fault. Such an evil person man, some of these women in todays world are truly messed up. Im sorrry you went throuh that shit too man, its honestly messed up how callous people can be. Money is the root of all evil.

[Finchie40]

Yea money doesn’t last forever and money doesn’t buy love , people that have that selfish mindset are in for a rude awakening when karma kicks them in the ass. I want a girl that has my back like I have hers , a girl that stands by me not away from me , If I lost my job or got injured at work , I want a girl that steps up and is there for me not against me. I don’t care if her and I end up in a tent somewhere or stranded on an island , She will still be the love of my life knowing I have a girl that stands by me , Girls ‘ that run to other men are selfish whores that think they deserve to be catered to , all they are is cum buckets , there is no heart what so ever , she can go find herself a man just for his wallet but he will never truly love her , he will treat her like the whore she is. Basically thanks for a good time but not a long time A girl is supposed to bring value into your life not drain your wallet. A loyal loving girl will be appreciative of everything you do for her not criticize or belittle you for getting her the wrong gift. Only selfish people think that way , she is a selfish white

[electromagnetic]

I’m sorry to hear she did that to you.
you did your very best and it looked like she was wasn't appreciative of it and that’s on her.
sounds to me like you’ve saved a lot of money and headaches later. A person worse than an ungrateful one is an ungrateful materialistic one.
Brush this one off and continue living life.

sorry you got scammed.

[TemplarKnight]

thank you. It really is heartbreaking because i thought she loved me for me. Turns out she was just all about money. No wonder she's 34 and unmarried, before she met me she was single 8-9 years. Makes perfect sense now. Who would want someone like that

[sheikalana]

Dude, you should feel grateful you're no longer with her. Imagine having to put up with that sh*t all the time. It wasn't real love from her side that is such a petty reason to break up with someone. She values the wrong things. How expensive a gift is is not a measure for how much you love someone. What a F*cking B*tch. I'm sorry but I had to say it.

[TemplarKnight]

everyone i told in my life has said this. They said its petty and a total overreaction. Pretty much validates my feelings that im not the crazy one

[sheikalana]

Listen, YOU ARE NOT THE CRAZY ONE! Forget about that woman immediately and stop doubting yourself.

[TemplarKnight]

thank you. I honestly cannot believe how hard she switched. She went from all lovey dovey to this within seconds. 1 year down the drain

[sheikalana]

She made you waste your time.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I think it's valid for you to be upset by this breakup. But honestly, it sounds like she just wanted money & gifts from you, not an actual relationship. I wouldn't go chasing back after her, just go out there and find yourself a new girlfriend (one that will love & cherish you).

[TemplarKnight]

i was really upset when it happened but with all these posts im starting to realise now, without the love/rose glasses that she was just materialistic and this is what she values.

[strateguy632]

the dumping, from my view as guy, was justified because same as you felt tricked for wanting designer but not getting it, she felt fooled that you gave her the fake, to fool her it was designer and that you want to give generous when you didn't. so in contrast to mist comforting replies here that are good to say i see her view And she correct to "dump you for feeling fooled" that you wanted to spend when you didn't want.

[TemplarKnight]

would you end a relationship over a handbag?

[lightbulb27]

that is not good, normal or healthy. I've had crap like that in the past, somewhat. Move on. Life should not be that stressful like you are walking on eggshells.

It is easy to get scammed of knockoffs if you don't know those products well.

talk to Dr. about her behavior... maybe it messed up her hormones. Wouldn't shock me if she comes running back.

In essence, I guess your gift said "you aren't good enough" and she took that offensively.

[TemplarKnight]

thats how i felt when she didn't like my first gift. "not good enough"

[lightbulb27]

Lookup Mirena IUD Crash and other issues. It's related to removal, but gotta wonder. Everyone is different.
Womens emotions changing drastically, painfully for the man, is normal... for some women. PMS DD, bad PMS. It isn't just sitting down and having ic cream and crying, they can be really painful to deal with. The hormonal shifts expose other aspects of their emotions. If she was PMSing, or having issues with that implant, it make sense to me why she did that.
Whether you can handle it is another matter.

[TemplarKnight]

she dumped me 2 weeks ago, and she had only had it installed at the very last week of December 2023. Ever since then she's been more snappy, crying more, overthinking more. It is possible her switch was as a result of the Mirena insertion but i duno. I still dont think its excusable to nuke an entire relationship over PMS.

[lightbulb27]

you are such a dude (knucklehead... e. g. selfish) and she is definitely a female. No offense... I used to be worse. It's not a logical issue and in fact, it does make sense if you think about it. If you want me to explain I will, not sure you'll believe me. you may have to message me if you do, I don't always get notified of responses from this system.
Makes a ton of sense more I think of it. what's that little device doing to the woman? think man... use your brain, FEEL something... THINK what is going on... Realize that not all people are the same, and some react different than others. Whose idea was it to wear the device anways... not that it matters. Either way, it's your fault... Read Genesis 1-3... it conveys that.
This is an open and closed case in my mind, makes sense. Solvable if you run back to her and undo all the damage. No guarantees of other problems not uncovered.

[TemplarKnight]

im sorry but i dont really follow what you're saying. I mentioned that what i did was a mistake. I feel that her reaction was way over the top though.

[lightbulb27]

her reaction was very strong and not stable, but that's women... they are very emotional... some... at times. I start from... she did... there is a reason. How does one make sense of it then? Fair... is it fair that the life insider her doesn't get a chance at life because you want to selfishly pleasure yourself with her vagina, but the potential life... has no chance? I learned how PMS impacts a females thinking, this seems similar. Think from the view of the embryo to make sense of it. The sex is about life, not your pleasure. You are being selfish.
Call me crazy... it makes sense. She literaly just said "you are not good enough" the same way this action makes her offspring "not good enough". Women are multipliers. You give her a seed, she gives a baby. Give her house, she makes a home. ... you give her grief, she x10 it and dumps it back in ways you'll never understand.
There could be deeper problems... I said that. But the surface of this... in that light, makes perfect sense. If you can't understand what I said, you need to find a much less complex female.

[lightbulb27]

So if you can figure it out... emotionally, understand the emotion of it. Then you could go back and convey your love for her and her offspring, stop the stupidity of what you were doing (regardless of whose idea it was) and love her. And then, maybe it works. Maybe she's done already and moved on. This could be really hard though if she is PMSDD or other emotional issues. I'm dealing with a few sentences here of detail. But in my view, I made sense of this at a high level. make sense yet?
Sadly, so many men are dunce. I was dunce, I had to learn the hard way... by suffering.

[TemplarKnight]

it wasn't my choice for her to get the IUD. She had to get it due to heavy bleeding during periods. The gyno made her get it and ever since then she's been 100x crazier.

[lightbulb27]

still makes some sense. something is wrong hormonally. Women can and will get 100x crazier, you ain't' seen nothin' yet. Hormones are essential. All of this is about making offspring and something is jacked up. Not everyone is the same, some have no reaction. There's been women killed by putting things up there (tampon), chemical reactions. Who knows. I'd get that thing out. what's the bleeding about. she needs to go back to Dr. or do some research and figure out whats going on. I'm not saing it's your fault, but from the viewpoint of the responsibliity, it can get dumped on you. Women will dump on the man... and eventhough she is totally wrong... she believes she is right and will fight to the bitter end to defend such. It's not easy being a man sometimes. There are many kinds of "crazy"... ask a psychologist (I'm not one). Bipolar, Paranoid Delusional, narcissistic spectrum. Its a human with different brain. Hormones just got jacked to hell and all she did was reject you for a gift. So I'm adjusting to "not good, but somewhat normal" for her, right now.
Id be having her checked out...
p. s. medications and such, might influence, even alcohol. I've seen women be unbearable and awful to their husbands, while on alcohol and sometimes without.
and people wonder why women were denied a right to vote... etc..
hopefully whatever happens, you can gain value from the experience. Women are different, get to know her and make sure you can handle her, as is. That said, after having kids, they can change as well... hormones. your job... should you choose to accept it and succeed at it... is to love her, e. g. give her priority, security, emotional support.
it's complex... but not that complex. you cannot fix her, she doesn't want fixed. that said, she may need a Dr. or to have Dr.'s stop messing with her. Talk to a Gynecologist and do some resrch on that insert!
God help you!:-)

[lightbulb27]

curious as to your patterns... did you have a very sick parent in earlier life? It's a stretch, but strikes me as an aligned to this person.

[FunkyMonkee]

I'd say, it's a possibility those mones she's ion are fucking with her head as well as her pussy but, if you find out they're not, tell her to go pound salt!!

[TemplarKnight]

maybe it just revealed who she truly was too

[FunkyMonkee]

Possible. I find that to be true of drunks.

[BoopBoopBeep]

She seems pretty trash any way you look at it. Congrats on getting an upgrade.

[TemplarKnight]

its truly horrible how evil some people can be

[BoopBoopBeep]

You have no idea

[douride2]

I would say your better off with out that gold digger. Be lucky you found out what she was like sooner then later.

[TemplarKnight]

im so glad. She wouldve absolutely ruined my whole fucking life if i married her.

[laly520]

sorry it happened

on good side u discovered who she truly is

[TemplarKnight]

thanks for the support. Im honestly glad she did this before we got married

[laly520]

yes otherwise it wouldve been big mess

[Dinklex3]

It’s normal if the person you were dating was shallow in the first place.

Don’t be heartbroken over someone like that.

I’ve been super pissy and grumpy because of BC before, but she was just ungrateful.

[TemplarKnight]

what effects did the BC have on you? Was it IUD or the pill?
I noticed after she got the IUD in she became crazier. Part of me hoped its just the IUD black magic causing havoc on her, but i also know that if she sold me out over a handbag, then she didn't love me.

[Dinklex3]

When I was on the pill I was just mad and pissy at every thing. Was also on my period for 7 weeks straight. Everyone is different though.
I wouldn’t blame it on her BC though. Her getting upset that something wasn’t “expensive enough” is the real her.

[TemplarKnight]

and does the craziness last the entire time you're on it? she's not on the pill, but a hormonal IUD, which i think is the same thing. Its called a Mirena IUD.

She did complain about the bracelet post-IUD, yes, but i do think maybe the IUD just amplified the crazy in her.

[Dinklex3]

I wouldn’t know. I hated feeling like that so I switched. Again, everyone is different and reacts differently.
But her behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.

[Staximus]

You should have left her when she complained about the bracelet and but taken to her again. Never buy a woman some designer bullshit.

[Staximus]

It's a blessing in disguise, never talk to her again. Thank your lucky stars you didn't get her pregnant.

[TemplarKnight]

if i had kids with her she wouldve taken them, run off, taken the house and all my shit for sure.

[StudyingAuthor]

She sounds like a gold digger dude. It's probably for the best.

[TemplarKnight]

it was a hard pill to swallow but I've finally realised it

[StudyingAuthor]

I'm glad you realised that. I hope you find a better woman who respects you.

[slatyb]

Be happy you are rid of her. You aren't missing anything.

[TemplarKnight]

im still heartbroken. We were together almost a year and now im reeling, thinking the whole time she was just with me for money.

[slatyb]

Seems so. Sounds like it was a transaction to her.

[loveslongnails]

Upset? You should be happy as fuck. If the hormonal change brought this out in her, praise the powers that be! Better you learned now than later.

[TemplarKnight]

im feeling a lot better now with all of these posts man. Im so lucky i learned before i got married to her

[loveslongnails]

Yes, you should. You had a lifetime of hell in front of you if you had married her, or anyone like her. She was not a quality woman.

[TemplarKnight]

for real man. Thanks for the assurance

[Anonymous]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY&pp=ygUWa2FueWUgd2VzdCBnb2xkIGRpZ2dlcg%3D%3D

[exitseven]

I could never imagine anybody behaving like that. Too bad you did not dump her first.

[TemplarKnight]

im starting to wish i did, when she complained about the first gift.

[JacobJordan]

Least she showed her true colors as a piece of shit

[TemplarKnight]

like i said before i was fkn shattered when it happened. But now, im glad that i dodged a massive bullet. I dodged an artillery shell.

[JacobJordan]

I will say it is not normal behavior from a woman. Though it seems to becoming more normal for western women

[Starrrboy]

Don't be too upset.. You're actually lucky.. you don't need a person like that in your life..

[TemplarKnight]

im starting to think i dodged a bullet.

[MysticDevice]

You dodged a bullet dude. You're way better off without her. She sounds like a real toxic mess.

[TemplarKnight]

i read up on covert female narcissism and i think she may fit the bill.

[MysticDevice]

Yessir. So good riddance.