If your parents get divorce, who would you live with Mom or Dad?

[Kelly6]

reason why?

[JacobJordan]

Almost 40 so none. But were I still a child dad hands down. Children raised by single fathers have the same outcome life wise as children raised by both parents. Where as children raised by single mothers often wind up in jail, abusive relationships as either the abuser or the abused, wind up assaulting or sexually assaulting others. Wind up on drugs or alcohol. Wind up poorer if not outright homeless and several other things. End of the day provided the father wants to be in the child's life it is nearly always better the child be raised by either both parents or just the dad. Those are the facts

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Those "facts" are seriously skewed and create a distortion.

Those statistics don't study what kind of quality of mom or father the child had or wheather the father was even involved in that child's life.

Also, those children typically grow up in poor crime ridden neighborhoods which leads them to a much higher percentage of going to prison or end up on drugs.

Single moms who are financially stable living in nice areas don't have their son or daughter going to prison or on drugs.

[JacobJordan]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy listing exceptions don't change the rules. Most single moms don't live in stable areas or nice areas so that already make your point invalid. Second thing that makes it invalid is kids who grow up with both parents in the same crime rate area have lower chances of going to jail. Same with those raised by the father. But raised by the mom far higher. Also the stats were done by studying single fathers mom not in the picture. Single mothers dad not in the picture and nuclear family both parents in the picture. So those states are in fact accurate and continue to be accurate since the introduction of them

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I don't believe those statistics paint an accurate full picture because as I said those statistics doesn't tell the quality of a mom or dad a child is being raised by.

Having a father in the home or child's life doesn't mean nothing if the father himself is trash of a human being and father.

How many kids in India or China or other European develop countries that come from single mom homes go to prison?

In the U. S. is mostly black kids that come from single moms and broken families with often both the mom and dad are bad people to being with so the kid inherit bad criminal genes from start.

Being raised by a good single mom or any guardian is good enough for a kid if raised correctly.

[JacobJordan]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy the point of a statistic is that it doesn't matter if the parent is good or bad. Reality is on a general scale single dads are typically pretty good at it. Single moms are not because women have a harder time juggling both work, parenting and everything in the middle. Generally speaking most men are used to juggling numerous things there entire life so adding a kid is just another thing they have to take care. In addition single fathers get significantly more attention than single mothers

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I don't believe any of that BS as statistics can be manipulated and distorted like in sports a player gets his points when the game is out of reach already.

It's all a lot of more nuances that goes parenting and why some kids turn out bad vs good by a single parent and to me gender is totally irrelevant.

Environment and genes personality and the quality of the parent are the biggest factors to me, not which gender parent is single parenting.

[JacobJordan]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy which is fine to think that but saying the statistics are wrong when they aren't as the nature of statistics is to give a general idea of a given thing is just silly. Statistics are like generalizations they don't apply to everyone but they do apply to many

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Let's just disagree. I stand firm on what I believe to be true.

Ish people produce other ish people, quality of parenting is major factor along with the environment they grow up in.

Gender is irrelevant.

[JacobJordan]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy I had shit parents for the first 6 years. I am the exact opposite of them and even when I was an infant I knew what they were doing was wrong. In fact if anything I may have overcorrected and become too rigid in my morality. I haven't yet met someone with a moral code as rigid as mine as. Most are far more adaptable and willing to make some sacrifices morally to have a happy outcome.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Nothing is 100% except death. Two decent moral people have a high chance of producing a decent moral little boy or girl even if they met each other because the genes are passed on and the opposite is true for people that are morally rotten.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

*never met

[JacobJordan]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy exactly. Which is why the statistic exists. It gives a baseline without saying it is a certainty. Because as we both know exceptions exist. Also personality is not really passed on. Though psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies along with other mental disorders can be passed down. Personality largely is made up of apx 90% the parents. 5% friends and other people including society and 5% self beliefs etc.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You literally just contradicted yourself. You say personality which is part of genes isn't passed on but then go on to say personality is largely approximately 90% of parents which is a lot of predisposition mentally and character of a person is going to inherit.

[JacobJordan]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy personality is not part of genes. Personality is learned behavior so no I did not contradict myself. Mental disorders are genetic and THOSE can be passed on.

[OlderAndWiser]

My parents got divorced when I was 28 years old and not living at home. I would not want to live with either of them. Instead, I left town for three years to attend law school. It was a good time to leave town!

[wiltingrosepetal]

My dad. I love them equally but my dad is a lot more comfortable with me over my brother, since we have kinda the same personality. Both very affectionate, both sensitive, both very talkative. He considers life pointless without my mother so he'd reaaally need some emotional support if they ever divorced. And he's not getting that from my emotionally distant, quiet brother.

[electromagnetic]

My dad isn’t around but if he ever was, I’d go live with him. Not to say my mom and I aren’t close, but we only became cross once my dad passed on. I’ve always been daddy’s little shit head and a lot of my firsts were because of my dad saying “go do it because I encourage you and I’ll sort the rest with your mom”

[Kelly6]

@electromagnetic
sorry to hear that

[electromagnetic]

Thanks. It’s part of life.

[I_Am_Loner0405]

Probably my dad to be honest. My mom and I didn’t get along well when I was growing up. Dad was at work most of the time so I’d get the house to myself. My mom works from home and travels a lot now so I wouldn’t be able to get away from her long enough to relax. I’m glad I live by myself.

[Anonymous]

My parents got divorce right before 7th grade I lived with my dad and while he is a great dad I would have rather lived with my mom since around that age we girls start developing changes in our body it would have been less awkward with a female family member helping and guiding me through the changes. But I understood with my mom being on drugs and being in an abuse relationship at the time that it wouldn't have worked out.

[thegreenyogi]

That is never going to happen in my case since my parents were happily married but my father died young unfortunately.

[Kelly6]

@thegreenyogi
but in case if this happens, who would you pick?

[thegreenyogi]

Neither.

[IslaTheWitch]

I lived with my mother, my father didn't care

[Anilkumar3277]

just ask your father. i think your never ask him

[IslaTheWitch]

@Anilkumar3277 I did

[Anilkumar3277]

what did you ask him and what he gave the answer

[IslaTheWitch]

@Anilkumar3277 I don't need to explain myself. I know from him he didn't care

[Anilkumar3277]

okay

[rosemilk]

parents got divorced when i was young. obviously had to live with my mom since it was just easier for my dad to leave everything (house, plus my school zone, etc)

[rosemilk]

now if i actually had a choice, my dad is less involved so i'd probably want to live with him just because he's unproblematic. but i'm grown now so it doesn't matter.

[PeachyPie93]

My parents did break up. I lived with my mom because my dad was the one who left and I couldn't leave my mom by herself lol.

[TonyMetal___86]

Hard to say, thank god that they remained together till my father passed away...
I believe that in a real marriage, kids do not have to choose between the father and the mother, it's because their parents will be married forever

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

My parents got divorced when I was very young and I would still prefer to live with my mom because I just want to be around my mom more.

That's not to say I wouldn't live with my dad as I wouldn't have a problem with him, but my mom birth me into this world so I pick her.

[CheeseMonster]

Neither, but if I was still a kid definitely my mom. Even though I liked my dad better as a kid that was just because my mom is basically a wall flower around him. I would like to have gotten to know her better.

[skidawgkc22]

My parents were divorced since I was 12. I lived primarily with my mother.

[sage2021]

Mine divorced when I was 5 years and I lived with my Mom.

[molonski2]

Too old to be thinking about that.. But I had custody of my daughters.

[RebelinSteel]

On my own tbh. Not my brother, neither parent. Maybe my sister.

[ChocolatePikachu95]

Done it during lockdown my mum had to fly back to america for something and my dad was uk. It was weird not seeing them together

[exitseven]

My parents got divorced when I was in high school. I lived with my mother.

[FunkyMonkee]

I guess, mom because, most of my life, dad's treated me like shit.

[Surely]

My parents have long since passed. But probably I would have went with my mother. We were always closer.

[msc545]

If my parents had gotten divorced which they did not do but certainly should have. I would have lived with my father 100% of the time.

[clampfan101]

My mom can’t drive, so I don’t see much of a choice. 😕

[Kinkyhubby]

My parents never divorced, so it would tough. I guess it would depend on the circumstances