Would you let your parents or in laws live with you? Why or why not?

Question

Honestly I wouldn't mind if my in-laws wanted to live with me and husband. My mom and I even though we occasionally have disagreements we are very close and I do know for a fact she's going to be a wonderful grandmother and I wouldn't mind her living with me and husband so she can be closer to her grandchildren. Same for my in-laws I would love for them to live with us so they can be closer to their grandchildren as well and watch them grow up.

Cubus · Accepted Answer

Well, we live with my grandparents

Prettygurl12 · Answer

If it were absolutely necessary. I think having separate households is important for sanity.

The hierarchy in the family unit is always the parents and then the children. This does not change when the children become adults. As an adult, you are the head of your own household, but the parent/child dynamic still exists. Want to cause your marriage unnecessary stress? Let your parents move in with you. It's a nightmare.

My mom's parents moved in with us for 9 months when I was 8. They did so to help my parents out since my mom had just given birth to my triplet siblings.

The dynamic in the house was extremely stressful. My grandparents were the heads of their house and my mom was their child.

My parents are the heads of their household, but when my grandparents came it shifted the dynamic. My parents were simultaneously the heads of the household and also reverted to when they weren't married and let my grandparents be in charge. They were simultaneously trying to fill both roles and it caused an extreme amount of stress on the household and their marriage. Our home was chaos. No one talked about it but there was a power and role crisis. Extremely stressful and lots of anxiety for everyone.

This is not to say my grandparents were bad. Their presence was necessary to help my parents with 3 newborns. Our household very likely would not have survived without them. They are/were also incredible people who are extremely kind and I love them dearly.

My dad had two broken arms at the time due to a work injury and my mom was recovering from a C-section, and my grandparents were very helpful in caring for the babies, but the power dynamic was still there and it was just a very stressful time.

My grandparents run their household a certain way and my parents run theirs another way. Both are good ways, but they are different and meshing the two ways together was just chaotic. 0/10 would not recommend. I don't think my parents would have survived that time without my grandparents, but I also think that the strength of their marriage took a major hit during that time.

The ONLY reason I would allow my parents or inlaws to move into my house would be if it was the only option.

If the option was that they live with us or they live on the street, of course I'd let them stay with us, but I would be consciously sacrificing my marriage in doing so.

Rosexøxø · Answer

No, because people don’t have “pack animal” qualities on a daily basis- to actually work together;

they just have the drama and tea lol

would in-laws guarantee to look out for me?

If they respected me, and I was able to serve up a place for them to stay with us, then for certain.

If it was an emergency- without a doubt yes, they’d stay with us.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope...

and I love them, and I have NOTHING against them

but... NO, lol

and I know very well, they would not want it either... now this does not mean in any way that they will be apart and away from our family either

they will be there, and they will present, but they don't need to live in... lol

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I would be okay with my 91 year old mother living with me but my 92 year old stepfather has always been an irritating jerk. . . on his best day!

My girlfriend's mother is dead. Her father is 94 years old but lives in China. Moving to the US at that age is probably never going to happen.

mickmrly · Answer

I would say yes, I’d let my in laws live with me. While I am not married at this time, I get along very well with my own parents. I think that the whole nuclear family situation is overhyped to be honest. I think I’ll be trying to emulate Asian culture more closely and stay closer to my elderly parents. Also seeing as my younger siblings can barely take care of themselves, it will be up to me to make sure my parents are taken care of.

Tanhoaon · Answer

I’d like to work double time to get another closed house for them, so I can take care of them. But hell no I don’t want to live together when I am married, since multi-relationships could get worse if out of control. I don’t want anything happen between my parent and my wife or me and my parents in law ruin the relationship. Any is worthy.

annabananna · Answer

If my in laws needed to I would but I honestly couldn’t do it with my mom unless their was no other option. She is so negative an critical that my tics gets really bad. I can only handle her in doses. I just can’t listen to someone talking bad about people all day.

TrueConfection · Answer

I wouldn't turn them out, so yes I would allow them to move in if there wasn't another alternative.

I voted no because I really wouldn't want them to live with us. I can only manage a few days visit at most. I'd probably move out if anyone other than my mil moved in.

melanieeeB · Answer

Yeah but only if there is still a separation, like in King of Queens kinda haha
You know, if you owe a bigger house and can give away one floor to them and build in an extra door... cause I wouldn't want them to be living in the next room in a tiny ass apartment

dustybiker · Answer

My family moved to my mums home so I could look after her through her last years. It was very much a full time job she was safer and happier at home.

LazerBean · Answer

Wien they are old, absolutely. We are wanting to be able to have both sets of our parents live next to us when they get old.

Summeroflove · Answer

I don’t know. I’m not married. Ir would depend on our relationship. Hopefully we get along with each other’s families. In a ideal world. This would be the case. Sometimes it’s not.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

I would let my in-laws if they're respectful people and can follow conditions. I think conditions need to be set for a peaceful cohabitation to happen. I think it would be sweet.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah only if it was a extreme situation like they were homeless but If that was the case I'd just buy them a rv to live in next to my house

MrPickles13 · Answer

Honestly no, I've always had a difficult relationship with my parents and can't stand living with them now. Vists and that would be fine but my own house that hopefully I will be fortunate to share with a wife. i wouldn't be comfortable with that. I wouldn't even really want them to spend a night. I'm not really sure how to put it better into words than that.

PamelaRivers · Answer

I would if they needed a place to stay. I wouldn't just let them be out on the street, ever. Wouldn't bring my guy home with them there just cause it would be awkward but I wouldn't leave them on the street.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Including my own parents, who I love to the moon and back, my husband & I mutually can't have any of our parents under the same roof with us. If they want to live nearby, I'd gladly buy both of them new homes in the neighborhood instead.

Saltystardust · Answer

I'd allow my in laws, and my mom and my step dad, but not my dad and his lastest girlfriend. My dad and I don't get along at all and his girlfriend is younger than I am! I couldn't explain that to any strangers.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Maybe in an outbuilding on the property but I wouldn't want them in my space constantly.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes, of course if my girlfriends mother wanted to live with us, she’s welcome. That’s if my girlfriend wants it.

Kinkyhubby · Answer

I would not let my mother in law live with us. She is way to nosey. And my wife fights with her all the time.

Agape93 · Answer

Fuck no, to both. My family doesn't know where I live for a reason, and my girls parents I'd likely beat the shit out of them more than anything

exitseven · Answer

My mother broke her hip and we had her move in with us for a couple of months. It was a horror show.

Pudsmucker · Answer

No! it's not appropriate to live with family except for short periods of time. Like not more than a week. I'v had my son and his family live with us for a while. It was quite interesting.

Adam1978 · Answer

They can live close but not with me. So at least in another building so I got some privacy.

SnowedIn · Answer

If they were old and infirm, probably. Until then, no!

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

I wish my dad would come live with me 😞 he’s dying and I hardly see him.

LLStylish · Answer

Yes but I don't have home. I live with my family already.

douride2 · Answer

As much as I loved my parents I wouldn't let them move in with me.

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely no. I am far too loud in bed and my boyfriend has a high libido so... No

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, so long as they understood. THIS IS MY HOUSE. AND AS LONG AS YOU LIVE HERE YOU'LL ABIDE BY MY RULES! 🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous · Answer

No, that would never work for me.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes if need be. Family is family.

TroyDT2 · Answer

No, because I will not marry.

Anonymous · Answer

Only as a last resort.

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