How do I move on, and what do I do?

Just a brief history of things. I have some very bad abandonment trauma that I didn't really know existed until this relationship. It is my first, and it's been a doosy. I think I know what's best, but it just hurts very badly. This woman has been hurtful and not always faithful. I just need some help because my trauma is horrid. Multiple months ago she told me she didn't really have feelings but she was still here. I tried my darnedest to show her what she meant to me. Flowers, lots of love, and everything. We were going to go to her grandpa's. She told me she didn't want me coming because she needed to think about us, ok cool np. Turns out she was also going to see this dude. However, couldn't go through with it and decided she wanted us. However, she continued with the lie even after I confronted her. Unfortunately, buried those feelings and tried my best at work. Things were ok to decent. My job made me super stressed and depressed and we weren't that intimate thanks to unresolved feelings. I lose my job, girlfriend expresses how much she loves me and feels unwanted. I get it all and understand. Tell her I need some time to actually address my feelings and stuff. Communicate everything with her all along the way. Month goes by. Realize I can forgive her and don't want to lose everything. I open up to her, and didn't really know how to go about things. Kept trying to open up a conversation about us. Plus wanting to go to therapy together but still had a lot to unpack, have been numb for some time. Entire time she was like no everything is ok don't worry. Even when I tell her I feel alone and lonely that I miss her. She'd just say I'm sorry and tell me things were ok. Finally today after a trip we came home and she took a nap. After the nap I sat her down and started talking to her and about how I feel. She promptly broke up with me. Like wtf? I get things weren't the best but damn. I've been very patient with her before. I communicated everything.
Updates
10 mo
I've done my best to communicate but she's hasn't said a thing to me. Like at no point did she communicate. She just dropped this on me out of nowhere. She's probably right and it is best to end things. It's been a hell of a ride and I've always been the one on the losing end. Been hurt so many times by this woman. Yet I just don't want to lose her and I'm afraid of being alone. Right now I have no job and nowhere to go.
How do I move on, and what do I do?
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