Why is my ex's family still contacting me over a year after the breakup?

[Anonymous]

My relationship with my ex lasted 4 years, and he broke up with me almost a year ago. We were serious; he bought a ring, which was a whole thing. While I was with him, though, his mom kept influencing him to end things with me since my family wasn't accepting of the relationship. However, he ended the relationship on his own accord because he was "falling out of love, not compatible anymore, etc."

After the breakup, his mom was my primary support system since my family didn't support us. She told me that she believes he'll reconcile with me in a couple of years since he still has a lot of maturing to do, and he will contact me when it's time. But she told me to move on in the meantime and how she met her now-husband after her serious relationship ended. After a couple of months, I stopped contacting her and his family because it was taking a toll on my mental health since she kept referring to me as "daughter-in-law" when her son moved 12 hours away to avoid reminders of our relationship and the possibility of seeing me.

However, his mom and grandmother still text me occasionally. She texted me this past Christmas, asking if I was single and wishing me a happy Easter. His grandmother texted me last week to see how I was doing since she thought of me. I am moving on with another man now. My family doesn't support this relationship, but he doesn't mind, will fight their dissatisfaction, and will marry me soon. It's hard now, though, because I can't help but wonder if my ex's family is trying to make him reconsider the breakup and reconcile with me, especially since they still message me. I don't want to block them because it feels rude, but it's also making me question my new relationship. Help?

They're being friendly or nosey, maintaining friendship regardless of the relationship

They're working behind the scenes to get us back together soon

Don't worry about them; focus on your future with your new relationship

Other (please explain)

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow that's super annoying about your ex's family still contacting you all the time. It sounds like they never really accepted the breakup or something. I can understand it being kind of weird and making you question your new relationship.

His mom honestly sounds kinda over bearing still calling you "daughter in law" after so long. Like she's in denial or something that you two aren't together. And why would his grandma randomly ask how you're doing out of nowhere? It does kinda seem like they might be trying to put ideas in his head to get back with you.

I'd kinda play it cool if I were you. Don't block them so there's no drama, but maybe keep replies super short if you do answer. Or just don't open their messages sometimes so it seems like you're busy living your life. The last thing you need is them messing with your head!

It was smart that you dated someone new. I'm sure that helped show them you've moved on. As long as this new guy makes you happy and is chill about everything, don't question it cause of them. Easier said than done I know, but try not to let them get to you.

Hopefully they'll finally take the hint if you act unbothered enough. But if they keep bugging you, you might have to be like "sorry I've moved on, please don't contact me anymore" or something. Stay strong! Don't let your ex's weird fam ruin what you have now.

[Asker]

yeah she calls me daughter-in-law because we were serious for a long time so she must've been hoping I'd be it one day which is why she was implying in a couple of years he should change his mind because of new maturity. plus, i was his first girlfriend ever so that might play a role in this. but, i can't bank on them convincing him to come back to me since they were part of the reason for the separation. plus, it's his decision and if he wanted to be with me then he would've contacted me especially now. yes i keep short replies with them every time and don't tell them much of my life besides it's going good. I told them a couple of times i got a "new phone" when I've deleted their numbers so i thought that was hint enough. but, hopefully they don't text me again from here on out considering that their son is half way across America from me and they don't plan on spending time with me. it just feels selfish

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah luv, I totally get why she'd still think of you like family after so long together. But like you said, it's on your ex to reach out if he changes his mind - waiting around for his parents to convince him isn't a good plan.

And the fact that they were part of the reason you guys broke up in the first place makes their texts even weirder. Like they shouldn't expect you to just be waiting around forever, y'know? Telling them you got a new phone number is a pretty clear hint to leave you alone at this point.

I think you're right to just keep it short if they message again. You gotta focus on your new dude and being happy now. Your ex's family shouldn't be tryna interfere still. Hopefully they get the message soon that ship has sailed. You seem cool about it, but don't be afraid to straight up tell them to stop contacting you if it gets annoying again. Just do your thing, boo - don't let them take up space in your head rent free!

[HusamRocks]

Basically they put their son as their priority which u also must do with urself
Stop caring about him and move on even if he wanted u both back together but he might leave the same way he did before, it's easy for them now

MOVE ON 👍🏻
Good luck

[Asker]

Thank you for reminding me that they'll favor their son over me. They don't care about me as much as they're leading on. Thanks.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Girl, just move on with your new man. If you keep talking with your ex's family, you will be held back from your NEW opportunities and new beginnings. You're going to waste time waiting and waiting for this ex. You are getting married now.

Your ex should be the one who made a move before, not his grandma or mother. The toxic family should move on and set you free now.

[Asker]

that's true, if he wanted to he would've. Thank you